


Brace Yourself

by enigmaticblue



Series: A Better Metaphor [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 09:32:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 69,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1683503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticblue/pseuds/enigmaticblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sequel to Collide. There are unexpected consequences to the ritual Buffy did to break the curse on Spike, Dawn is trying to figure out what it means to be the Key, and Willow is coming home. And that’s just the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Keys

**“So you think/You can hold the world up by a string/With all that you have/And I will hold every part of you that I could hold…So you feel anything and everything could be/All that you wanted/Stay with me/I’m in no condition to be/Alone/And I’m on…/And I’m on again /Brace yourself/With all that you have/Enough, I’m in love again/Brace yourself/ Now…On and on/So it’s just your false alarm/Maybe I’ll hold my breath/And you’ll be gone/All that you have, yeah/All that you wanted.” ~Howie Day, “Brace Yourself”**

 

Dawn sat cross-legged, the heavy book opened in her lap. She was reading the spell by flashlight, not wanting to alert anyone to the fact that she was still awake. All the ingredients were laid out next to her; all she had to do was cast it. Preferably without Buffy walking in on her, since that would mean being grounded into the next century.

 

She wasn’t too worried about someone catching her in the act; Buffy was out on “patrol” with Spike; if her sister even came home before sunrise, Dawn would be shocked.

 

Although Dawn didn’t know that this was the right spell, it seemed to be her best option at the moment. Maybe it would be better to ask someone like Tara, but she couldn’t take the risk that she’d be forbidden from continuing. Dawn _had_ to know what it meant for her to still be the Key.

 

She _had_ to.

 

With a last check over her spell ingredients, Dawn began making the preparations. She lit the pillar candle and sprinkled the magic sand in the bowl, then the herbs, lighting both with the candle. The smoke drifted up, and Dawn breathed deeply, centering herself like the spell said you were supposed to.

 

If it worked, the magic would give her “true sight,” although she wasn’t sure what that entailed. Mostly, she was just hoping to get some idea of what it meant to still be the Key; Dawn hadn’t thought that there was anything special about her after Glory’s death, but if Rack had been able to use something inside her, then maybe she _was_ the Key.

 

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?”

 

Dawn’s eyes shot open, and she realized that the room was full of smoke. “Oh, crap.”

 

“Well?” Spike stood in the doorway, glowering. “You trying to set the house on fire?”

 

“No!” She tried to put out the smoldering ashes in the bowl, but something was wrong with her depth perception, and Dawn couldn’t quite reach it.

 

“Oh, sod it.” Spike strode through her room and threw the window open. The smoke immediately began to drift out, and he bent to grab the bowl from in front of her. “What is this shit?”

 

Dawn knew he was _really_ angry, just by the tone of his voice. And the fact that he was swearing a lot. Spike had been trying not to swear so much around her recently; she thought that Buffy might have talked to him about his language. “Sand and herbs,” she replied. “It’s not illegal.”

 

“I know that,” he snapped. “Doesn’t change the fact that you damn well know better. What were you thinking? You—” Spike stopped, reaching down to haul her up by her hands. “Come on. You need to get some fresh air.”

 

Dawn giggled as he supported her outside. Her feet didn’t feel quite all there, and her head felt floaty; she didn’t think that this was supposed to be part of the spell. Glancing up at him, Dawn was amazed; Spike’s face was half in shadow, half in light, and he was amazing. Brilliant.

 

She must have spoken out loud, because he snorted. “That’s enough of that. I don’t know what you were trying to do, Bit, but now you’re just being silly.”

 

“But I can see you!” she protested, stung that he thought her full of nonsense. Dawn knew what she was seeing. Which meant… “I need a mirror.”

 

“Dawn—”

 

“I need a mirror,” she repeated stubbornly, pulling away from him just before they reached the back door. Dawn stumbled towards the hallway, intent on looking herself in the eye. That’s all she needed to do—just find a way to _see_ herself.

 

Spike was at her side again, guiding her without further questions. Dawn gasped when she realized that he was reflected next to her, although he was hazy. Her own reflection was exactly the same, however; the sole difference was the thin green outline around her form. That told her absolutely nothing other than what she already knew.

 

“Come on, pet,” Spike said gently, apparently sensing the fact that she was near tears. “Let’s go outside. You just need some fresh air.”

 

Dawn had been so sure that it would work, especially after she’d seen Spike. “It didn’t work,” she said, sniffling and trying to force the tears back.

 

“What didn’t work, Nibblet?” Spike asked, his voice kind.

 

Dawn couldn’t handle his kindness; the anger was much easier to face in an odd way. “The spell. I just wanted to know what me being the Key meant, but it didn’t work. I don’t understand, Spike. What did I do wrong?”

 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Spike replied, patting her on the back. He sat her down next to him and put a tentative arm around her shoulders. “You want to tell me what kind of spell you were trying to do in there?”

 

“It was supposed to be a spell to see,” Dawn explained, the fuzziness beginning to wear off. “You and Buffy weren’t supposed to find out.” She frowned, realizing that she’d yet to face the wrath of the Slayer. “Where is Buffy?”

 

“Patrolling,” Spike said. “She was worried about you, so she sent me back.”

 

Dawn knew that couldn’t be right. Spike didn’t just leave Buffy on her own like that, not without a very good reason. She peered at him, the last of the spell-induced fog beginning to wear off. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Dawn pulled back abruptly. “You got hurt, didn’t you?”

 

“I did _not_ get hurt,” Spike insisted. “Your sis just wanted to be sure that someone was here with you. Think she knew something was up. You want to tell me what’s been going on?”

 

“You won’t tell her, will you?” Dawn asked, knowing that if Buffy found out she’d not only be grounded, but forbidden from going anywhere near the Magic Box or attempting more spells. Not that Dawn really wanted to do more magic, but she didn’t know how else to get the answers she needed. “Please don’t tell Buffy, Spike. You can’t. She’ll overreact.”

 

Spike shook his head, obviously unhappy about being put in the middle. “Don’t think I have a choice, Dawn. Your sister finds out about this, and she finds out I knew, we’ll both be sunk. I promised her I’d do the right thing.” He grimaced. “You tell me what you were doing, and we’ll try to figure out something, though.”

 

Dawn hesitated, then admitted, “I need to know what being the Key is all about. After what Rack did, I know that there’s something inside of me, and I know it’s important. I have to know what it means.”

 

Spike sighed deeply. “It might not mean anything at all.”

 

“You don’t believe that.”

 

She could see from his expression that he didn’t, that he knew Rack had been onto something. “We can go to Tara or Buffy,” Spike finally said. “Those are your options.”

 

It wasn’t much of a choice, but it was better than nothing. “Tara,” Dawn said immediately. “She’s a lot less likely to freak out.”

 

He winced. “Yeah. Let’s hope that your sister doesn’t end up feeling like we were hiding something from her.”

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy felt bad about two seconds after she sent Spike back to the house. She’d snapped at him for no reason, and he had merely sighed and done as she asked, heading back to check on Dawn. She really wasn’t angry with him, even if that’s how it had sounded.

 

With a sigh, Buffy acknowledged—if only to herself—that she had been a lot more short-tempered recently. She had been trying not to snap, but before she knew it, the words were out of her mouth, mostly directed at Spike, although Dawn had seemed to spark her ire a fair amount.

 

As soon as her anger flared, it died down, though, and then Buffy found herself apologizing once again. It was getting a little old.

 

Life should be good right now. Other than her occasional bad mood—okay, frequent bad moods—she and Spike were doing well. Xander was adjusting to their relationship, and he hardly ever made snide comments these days. Willow appeared to be doing well in England with the coven, although it was hard to tell how much progress she was really making. Giles was positive, though, which was encouraging. Dawn seemed to have fully recovered after that episode with Rack… Everything should have been perfect.

 

Everything would have been perfect if Buffy could just shake this stupid mood.

 

She wandered through her third cemetery, and when she didn’t see anything of note, she turned to go back to the house. Buffy knew she needed to apologize to her boyfriend for snapping at him. All he’d said was that he didn’t think Dawn needed looking after, and she had nearly taken his head off, suggesting that it would be his fault if something _did_ happen, and bringing up the thing with Rack a couple of months ago.

 

Even though Buffy _knew_ that Spike still blamed himself.

 

She let herself into the house, noting the light in the kitchen. Spike was standing by the sink, drinking out of the mug they’d set aside for him. Although he still had his own apartment, he was only there about half the time; Buffy made a habit of keeping blood in the fridge for him. “Hey.”

 

“Hey.” He glanced over at her. “You alright?”

 

“I should probably be asking you that,” Buffy said ruefully. “I think this is where you tell me I was acting like a bitch.”

 

“You said it,” Spike agreed amiably. He gave her a concerned look. “Buffy, is there something wrong? Something I’ve done?”

 

“No!” Buffy hastened to assure him. “No, it’s not you, I promise. It’s pretty much all me at this point. I’ve just been moody lately, and I can’t seem to shake it.”

 

His face softened. “Long as it’s not me.”

 

“It’s not you,” Buffy repeated, moving to embrace him, relishing the feel of his arms around her. Ever since she’d done that ritual to lift the curse, things between them had been easier, softer. The thought of losing him—or chasing him away, which seemed more likely right now—induced sheer terror. “You’re probably right. I know Dawn doesn’t need to be watched all the time, but I still worry.”

 

“Yeah, well, you have a right,” Spike replied. “Probably best that she’s not alone until we know for sure that whatever that bastard did isn’t going to have consequences.”

 

Buffy pulled back abruptly. “Like what?”

 

“Nothing,” he soothed. “I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.”

 

“You just said—”

 

“Meant more from Dawn’s side of things,” Spike said. “I think she might still be feeling a bit insecure.”

 

Buffy relaxed, knowing that Spike probably had a point. “Okay. If it’s not you or me, then it’s going to be Tara.”

 

“Or Anya,” Spike suggested. “That girl has a few tricks up her sleeve.”

 

Buffy shrugged. “Anya would be fine, too. I don’t think that Dawn’s very comfortable around her, though.”

 

“Anya says what she’s thinking,” Spike pointed out. “That’s not real comfortable for anyone.”

 

She made a noise of assent, leaning her forehead against his shoulder once again. “Have you seen Tara in the last couple of days?”

 

“She had an exam this week for her class,” Spike explained. “Said she’d be busy until it was over.”

 

“How is she doing?” Buffy asked, knowing that he was closer to Tara than any of them now. She found it odd, but at the same time was grateful for it. To her, it meant that there was a reason besides her that Spike walked a different path these days. His friendship with Tara, his love for Dawn, were just two more reasons for him to do the right thing.

 

Whatever that might be.

 

“She’s alright,” Spike said. “I think she’s over the worst of it now.”

 

Buffy frowned. “I thought she was doing pretty well before. Was she not—”

 

“Tara still loved her,” Spike said, his eyes wise. “Seeing someone you love do what Willow did…” He trailed off. “It’s a shock. You love them, and then they start throwing curses around like that, nearly getting folks killed. You start wondering how it is you could have loved someone like that, wonder why you still love them.”

 

Buffy understood that feeling all too well. That was how it had been when Angel had first lost his soul. She had still loved him; even after he killed Jenny Calendar, Buffy had still loved Angel. After that, however, it had been easier for her heart to accept that Angel was gone, and that he wasn’t coming back.

 

But she’d still loved him.

 

It had taken years to forgive herself for that.

 

“I get that,” was all she said. “You staying tonight?”

 

Spike hesitated, then said regretfully, “I’d better not, luv. Told Clem I’d meet up with him tomorrow and give him a hand with a few things. I’ll need ready access to the sewers.”

 

“Which I don’t have,” Buffy replied with a sigh. “Okay. See you tomorrow?”

 

“I can promise you that,” Spike replied, giving her a quick kiss. “Love you.”

 

Buffy still felt a little glow when he said the words, now that she’d allowed herself to accept the reality of his love. “Love you, too.”

 

Spike grinned at her. “Yeah, I know you do.”

 

Things really didn’t get much better than that, which was probably why Buffy should have been suspicious.

 

~~~~~

 

Giles cleared his throat, looking at Audra in disbelief. “Are you certain?”

 

“As certain as I can be,” she responded. “You told me about the ritual that your Slayer did; I told you that there might be unexpected consequences.”

 

“This is a bit more than unexpected,” he protested. “This is down-right unheard of.”

 

Audra shrugged. “There is nothing new under the sun, or so they say. I very much doubt that this is the very first time that something like this has happened. You know very well that such an event will make the Slayer a target, even more of one than she is already.”

 

Giles shook his head. “I don’t—”

 

“The Key?” Audra gave him a sharp look. “Do you think that man will be the only one to recognize that there is power there?”

 

He sighed, hating to admit that she was right, if only because he didn’t like the idea of Buffy having yet another burden. “What are you suggesting? I’m quite sure that Buffy doesn’t even realize it yet; she would have said something during our last conversation otherwise.”

 

Audra shook her head. “No, it happens that way sometimes. She wouldn’t be expecting it.”

 

“No,” Giles agreed, looking off into the distance. “I’m assuming that you have a remedy in mind, or you wouldn’t have come to me.”

 

Audra smiled. “I think it might be time for Willow to go home.”

 

Giles frowned. “Is she truly ready? Unless I can give Buffy and the others some kind of guarantee…”

 

“There are no guarantees in this life, Rupert,” Audra replied. “I think you know that.”

 

He sighed. “I do, but it doesn’t change the fact that Buffy will hardly be willing to welcome Willow home with open arms if I can’t guarantee she won’t go after Spike again.”

 

“I think that much you can guarantee.” Audra gave him a sharp look. “Willow will always be tempted to take control, and she will always have to fight that temptation. Here, it’s easy, and while I believe she has made great strides, we will not know how much she’s truly changed until she faces that part of herself head-on.”

 

“When were you thinking about sending her back?” Giles asked, hoping that Audra would give him a little time at least to broach the subject with Buffy.

 

“I think we can afford to wait until the Slayer understands why she might need Willow with her. Telling her before she knows herself would be a bad idea.”

 

Giles smirked. “And no one wants to break the news to her.”

 

“There is that,” Audra admitted.

 

~~~~~

 

Xander hefted his toolkit and walked into the Magic Box; he’d been surprised that Anya had called him, to say the least. “An? You here?”

 

“I’m in back,” she called. “I’ll be right there. Flip the sign over, okay?”

 

Xander flipped the sign from “Open” to “Closed” and locked the door. “Everything okay?” he asked, as she came back up front.

 

“It’s fine,” Anya replied. “But I noticed that one of the bookshelves has a crack in it. I think it happened when the Grok got in here last week.”

 

He frowned. “I thought I’d managed to repair all the damage.”

 

“There was a lot of damage,” Anya pointed out, sounding almost kind. “You must have missed a spot.”

 

“Show me,” Xander said with a sigh. He followed Anya over to one of the bookcases, where he immediately saw the problem. The molding was cracked and splitting; it was cosmetic damage only, but he knew how much pride Anya took in appearances. “I’ll have to take the molding off and put a new piece up,” he said.

 

“How long will it take?” she asked.

 

“I can probably get it done tomorrow.” Xander ran a callused thumb along the imperfection. “I can measure it tonight, and bring the new piece in tomorrow.”

 

Anya sighed. “I’ll ask Tara to meet you here, then. I’m not going to be here.”

 

Xander got a sinking feeling in his stomach. “You got a hot date?” he joked.

 

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Anya said.

 

He swallowed hard. “That’s great.” Xander wondered if he sounded sincere; he hoped so, since he didn’t want Anya to know how much it hurt to hear her say that.

 

“You know what they say,” Anya said. “About getting back on the horse.”

 

He nodded mutely, turning back to his work. Xander understood wood the way he didn’t understand women. “Maybe you should think about getting back on the horse, too,” Anya said, seemingly oblivious to his pain. “You should date.”

 

“Yeah, I should,” Xander said, not bothering to point out that no one seemed to be interested. He didn’t think Anya would be real sympathetic.

 

The truth was that he’d ruined every relationship he’d ever had. Xander wondered when he was going to stop screwing up his own life every time he turned around.


	2. Discoveries

**“She feels lost in her life/Treading water just to keep from slipping under/And she wonders if she’s where she’s supposed to be/Tired of trying to do it right/Her dreams are just too far away to see how steps she’s taking/Might be taking her to who she’ll be/And suddenly it isn’t what it used to be/And after all this time it worked out just fine/And suddenly I am where I’m supposed to be/And after all the tears I was supposed to be here.” ~Superchic[k], “Suddenly”**

 

Tara sat down at her tiny table with a sigh of relief. It was a pleasure to not feel as though she had a million and one things to do right this minute. Although she had needed the few extra credits that taking a summer class offered, there had been a lot of information crammed into just a few weeks.

 

In a way, it had been nice to have the class to focus on; it helped her to forget about Willow. Tara hadn’t quite realized how there had always been just a little part of her that had hung onto the hope that she and Willow would get back together again. After what the other woman had done, Tara knew that it would never happen.

 

Tara would never be able to completely trust Willow again.

 

The knock on the door surprised her, and Tara rose, checking the peephole first. Spike stood there, looking purposefully nonchalant, and she hurried to open it. “Spike? What’s up?”

 

He held out a brown box. “Brought you something.”

 

She frowned, taking the box and moving aside to let him enter. It was lightweight, but it felt as though something was moving inside. “What is it?”

 

“Open it and find out,” he suggested.

 

Tara pulled open the lid, her eyes widening when she saw the gray striped kitten. “Mew?” it said, sounding curious.

 

“Oh,” she exclaimed, reaching in to pull the kitten out, noting that it was a male. He butted her under the chin imperiously when she cuddled him to her chest. “Spike…”

 

“Thought you might need a friend,” he said lightly. “Clem had an extra.”

 

“Oh, Spike.” Tara found herself blinking back tears as the kitten began purring furiously. “He’s wonderful.”

 

“’Course he is,” Spike replied, sounding so smug she had to laugh. “I picked him out, didn’t I?” The kitten mewed again piteously. “I think he might be hungry.”

 

Tara nodded, setting the kitten down and heading into the kitchen. “Do you want anything?”

 

“I’m good,” Spike replied. “Ate before I came.”

 

“Hot chocolate?” Tara asked. “I’ve got the milk out already.”

 

“Sure.” Spike sat down at the table, reaching down to scratch the kitten behind the ears when he began playing with his shoelaces. “How’ve you been, pet?”

 

“I’m fine,” Tara said. “It gets easier.”

 

“Can’t help but get easier,” Spike agreed. “Just takes time is all.”

 

Tara hesitated. “Has—has Buffy heard from her?”

 

Spike shook his head. “No. Giles gives us regular updates. Sounds like she’s coming along all right, but I don’t know that she’s writing home. Maybe to Xander, but he and I don’t talk much.”

 

Tara gave him a sympathetic look, setting the saucer of milk on the floor for the kitten, who immediately dropped Spike’s shoelace to saunter over. “Is he still making nasty remarks?”

 

“Not after Buffy told him to shut his gob last time,” Spike said. “Think he got the picture. No, we just don’t have anything in common.”

 

“You have the same group of friends,” Tara pointed out.

 

Spike snorted. “Right.”

 

Tara turned from the stove, hands on her hips. “Are we not friends?”

 

“Yeah, of course,” Spike said, quickly backpedaling.

 

“And you and Anya are friends?” Tara pressed.

 

Spike smirked. “Yeah. Set her up on her date tonight, didn’t I?”

 

“Anya has a date?” Tara smiled. “How do you know him?”

 

“Nice half-demon I play poker with on occasion,” Spike replied. “He knows she used to be a vengeance demon, so I figured they’d have plenty to talk about.”

 

Tara nodded thoughtfully, then went back to her original point. “And you and Dawn are thicker than thieves. So, just because you don’t get along with one or two of Buffy’s friends, that doesn’t mean anything at all. You get along with more of us than you don’t.”

 

He frowned, obviously not having thought of it in quite that way before. “Suppose that’s true,” he allowed. “Dawn is actually why I’m here, other than to see your lovely face.”

 

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Tara warned, setting his mug of hot chocolate and a bag of little marshmallows down in front of him. “What about Dawn?”

 

“Caught her doing a spell the other night,” Spike said. “She was trying to find out if she was still the Key. It was something about having true sight. It didn’t really work like she wanted it to, and I gave her the choice of me telling Buffy, or me telling you. With the way Buffy’s been lately, it’s probably not a shock that she chose you.”

 

Tara winced. “Is she still snapping?”

 

“It’s getting worse,” Spike admitted. “The crazy part is that you know it’s not something you’ve done, and as soon as she cools off, she apologizes. In fact, when she’s not pissed at me, she’s really—” He cleared his throat. “Affectionate.”

 

Tara hid her smile behind her mug. Spike got embarrassed about the strangest things around her; she supposed it had something to do with his upbringing. When she’d finally managed to coax him to tell her what year he’d been turned, a lot had been explained. Spike had grown up during the Victorian era, and he still bore some of that influence at times.

 

“She keeps telling you it’s hormones?” Tara asked thoughtfully.

 

Spike shrugged. “That’s what she says, but… Bloody hell, Tara, I can smell blood, and—” He stopped.

 

Tara frowned. “What?”

 

“How long has it been since that spell? The one that you did on Willow?”

 

“And that Buffy did on you?” Tara asked, trying to remember. “Two and a half months, but why?”

 

“I have to go,” Spike announced abruptly. “I just—I have to go. Thanks for the hot chocolate.”

 

He was gone the next second, and Tara couldn’t even say for sure that she’d seen him cross the room. “Huh.”

 

She glanced down, feeling a furry head brushing along her bare ankle. “What am I going to name you?” Tara asked rhetorically, reaching down to pick the kitten up. She scratched behind one over-large ear and listened as he began to purr almost frantically. “I guess you’re going to be a cuddler.”

 

Tara smiled warmly, thinking of Spike and the kitten. It had been a long time since someone had given her a gift. Then, frowning, she thought of what he’d said about Dawn. It appeared as though she needed to have a talk with the girl.

 

~~~~~

 

“So, Anya had a date, huh?” Buffy asked sympathetically.

 

Xander nodded glumly. “She said that she needed to get back on the horse.”

 

“She has a point.” Buffy took another bite of her sandwich. Xander had come over ostensibly to work on her basement, but she had a feeling that he wanted the sympathetic ear more than anything else. “Why don’t you try dating again, Xander? Maybe that would help.”

 

“Who am I supposed to date?” He gave her one of his crooked grins. “All the nice girls I know are taken.”

 

Buffy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She felt sorry for him, but at the same time, Xander was wallowing. It had been over two months since he and Anya had broken up, and he could have been out meeting other women if he’d wanted to.

 

If Buffy remembered correctly, Xander had been the same way in high school, though—so sure that he’d be rejected that he hadn’t tried very hard.

 

“There are other women out there who would be happy to have a guy like you,” Buffy pointed out, knowing that it was true. Over the past months, working long hours on the construction site, Xander had taken off the pounds he’d put on, and he’d grown tan and fit. Even though she wasn’t attracted to him, Buffy could see how someone else might be.

 

He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

 

The front door opened, and Buffy heard Spike’s voice. “Hey, luv?”

 

“In the kitchen,” she called, giving Xander a look guaranteed to make him behave himself around her boyfriend. Other than that one time, when he’d started making snide comments that had gone over the line of friendly snark, he’d done fairly well.

 

Xander raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I should go anyway. You’re probably going to want to patrol.”

 

“Would you stay with Dawn?” Buffy asked. “Both Spike and I are still a little worried about Rack.”

 

Xander frowned. “Rack is dead.”

 

“Yeah, but not all of his friends are, and Dawn’s still not comfortable staying by herself,” Spike said, having heard the tail-end of their conversation.

 

Xander shrugged. “I can stay then.”

 

“Thanks, Xan,” Buffy replied, giving him a warm smile. She looked at Spike. “Ready?”

 

“As ever.”

 

Buffy followed him out the door. “Where do you want to start tonight?”

 

“Doesn’t much matter to me,” Spike said easily. “Restfield’s close.”

 

“Okay,” Buffy replied. “Maybe we could swing by your place later?” she suggested. “It might be nice to not have to worry about waking Dawn up.”

 

“I’ll second that,” Spike replied with a grin, but the expression didn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

Buffy frowned. “Is everything okay?”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Spike replied. “It’s just—do you want to talk to me about anything, luv?”

 

“Talk to you about what?” Buffy asked cautiously; it sounded like a loaded question to her.

 

“If you haven’t been feeling well, or anything like that,” Spike said vaguely.

 

Buffy shook her head. “No, I’m fine. What’s going on, Spike?”

 

At the alarm in his eyes, Buffy knew that her voice had taken on a dangerous pitch. “Nothing. It’s just—nothing.”

 

She stopped in her tracks. “What is it?” she asked, trying to gentle her tone. “You’re worried about something. You wouldn’t have said anything otherwise.”

 

“You, uh, haven’t been—” Spike stopped, ducking his head. Buffy realized with a start that he was embarrassed, and she hadn’t thought that there was anything that could embarrass him. “You’ve missed a couple of periods.”

 

Her eyes widened. “What? How do you—” Buffy realized how he’d know. “Ew! Spike!”

 

“I’m a vampire!” he protested. “It’s not like I can just turn that off!”

 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Buffy asked. “I’ve always been irregular. And I cannot believe I’m even talking about this with you.”

 

“You haven’t—since that spell you did, to lift the curse. And you’ve been really…” Spike trailed off, obviously sensing the dangerous waters that lay ahead of him. “You said it the other night.”

 

Buffy knew exactly what he meant, and while she would have liked to get pissed off, she had been the one to label her mood swings as “hormonal.” It took her a moment to realize what Spike was insinuating, however. “You think—” Buffy started laughing. “Come on, Spike, it’s impossible. Vampires can’t, you know, father children.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” he said gruffly. “It’s just that Tara made some comment and—you know what? Forget I said anything. It was stupid.”

 

Buffy felt a twinge. “It wasn’t stupid. _You_ aren’t stupid. How was Tara?” she asked, taking the opportunity to change the subject.

 

Spike shrugged. “Good. Took her a little something. Hope you don’t mind.”

 

“What did you take?” Buffy asked.

 

“Clem had a spare kitten,” Spike explained. “Thought she might be able to use the company.”

 

It was in moments like that when Buffy realized exactly what a prize Spike was, weird vampire-related knowledge about her period aside. “That was very sweet.”

 

He rolled his eyes, although Buffy could see that he was pleased with the compliment. “I’m not sweet.”

 

“Of course not,” Buffy agreed, knowing that it wouldn’t do her much good to argue. She glanced around, realizing that Spike was the only vampire she could sense in the immediate vicinity, and suddenly wanting him with a ferocity that stunned her. “Let’s go back to your place.”

 

Spike glanced at her in surprise. “What about patrol?”

 

“It’s dead tonight,” Buffy replied, throwing caution to the wind. “I can think of a lot of better things to do.”

 

One of the things she loved about Spike was that he didn’t take much persuading when it came to things like that.

 

~~~~~

 

Tara brought Merlin with her to the Magic Box; she was oddly reluctant to leave him at her apartment by himself, and she knew that Dawn would love to see him. Dawn was already there, flipping through a large book under Anya’s watchful eyes.

 

Anya glanced up as the bell over the door rang. “Hello, Tara,” Anya said cheerfully. Her eyes lit on Merlin. “What’s that?”

 

“It’s my new kitten,” Tara said, feeling about as proud as a new mother might. “Merlin.”

 

“Oh!” Dawn was out of her seat in a moment. “He’s so cute!” She held out her arms, and Tara handed her the cat. Dawn cuddled him to her chest, stroking him as he began to purr furiously. “When did you get him?”

 

“Yesterday,” Tara replied. “Spike brought him by.”

 

Dawn pouted. “No fair. I want a cat.”

 

“Maybe you should ask your sister,” Tara suggested.

 

Dawn looked alarmed. “I don’t think so,” she said emphatically. “You don’t want to ask Buffy for anything these days. She gets pissed off about everything.”

 

“Surely it’s not that bad,” Tara said.

 

“Only if you have to live with her all the time,” Dawn replied. “Anya, do you have a string?”

 

Anya was still eyeing the kitten dubiously, as if he was going to single-handedly destroy her store. “I have string, but you have to promise that it’s not going to break anything.”

 

“He won’t break anything,” Dawn promised, taking the string Anya cut for her from the packing supplies. “He’s too little for that.”

 

Anya still didn’t look appeased, but she didn’t say anything more about the kitten. “How are you?” she asked Tara.

 

Tara smiled, watching as Merlin chased the string that Dawn dragged along the ground. “I’m good. Spike came along just in time.”

 

“It’s hard to forget, isn’t it?” Anya asked, showing a flash of insight, as she did occasionally. “How it used to be?”

 

“Something like that,” Tara agreed. “How was the date last night?”

 

Anya smiled. “It was good. I mean, it was different, but we had a nice time. He didn’t mind it when I talked about how I used to be a demon, not like Xander used to.”

 

“That’s good,” Tara encouraged. “It’s important to be able to be yourself.”

 

“It really is,” Anya replied. There was a long pause. “Would you mind watching the shop?” she asked. “I haven’t had lunch yet.”

 

“Oh, go ahead,” Tara said. “I don’t mind.”

 

“Thanks!” Anya said, dashing out the door.

 

Tara turned to look at Dawn. “So, you want to tell me about it?”

 

Dawn paused, the string stopping on the floor. Merlin didn’t seem to notice; he kept batting at it. “About what?”

 

“Dawn.”

 

The younger girl sighed. “Spike told you, huh?”

 

“He said that you were doing a spell,” Tara replied. “We didn’t get into the details.”

 

“I just wanted to know if I was still the Key,” Dawn said. “Spike said I could tell you or Buffy. You know how Buffy’s been lately.”

 

Tara gave her a look. “You know your sister loves you.”

 

“Yeah, but sometimes the _way_ she says it…” Dawn said with a smirk that let Tara know she had probably been spending too much time with Spike. “Okay, okay, I know. It’s just that Buffy solves problems by ignoring them, or she beats something up. I need to know why Rack wanted me, and if I’m still really the Key. I didn’t think she could help me with that.”

 

“I don’t think that matters, Dawnie. You’re going to have to talk to Buffy about this, but I’ll go with you if you want, and I’ll help you do research.” Tara gave her a stern look. “Listen to me, though. Magic is not something you can play around with. It’s serious stuff, and I want you to promise me you won’t do another spell without supervision.”

 

Dawn nodded, her eyes wide. “I promise.”

 

Tara smiled. “Good. Let me grab a couple of books from the loft, and then we can get started.”

 

“Now?” Dawn asked.

 

“There’s no time like the present,” Tara responded, grateful that Dawn had been so receptive. The last thing they needed right now was another Willow—someone who misused magic for their own ends. Tara didn’t think that Dawn was in danger of going down that path, but an ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure.

 

Tara planned on keeping a very close watch on things.

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy stood in the aisle of the drug store, amazed at her options. There were a half a dozen choices, all of them promising accurate results and simple instructions.

 

Buffy honestly couldn’t believe she was even thinking about this. It was ridiculous. There was no way that she could be pregnant, no matter what kinds of weird things that ritual might have done.

 

Still, once Spike had made the suggestion, she hadn’t been able to get it out of her head. It was true that she had never been regular, but Buffy didn’t think she’d ever skipped two months in a row. There was no way she was going to rest easy until she took one of these tests and got a negative reading; then, she could laugh at Spike’s fears and move on.

 

“Can I help you?” The middle-aged clerk was smiling at her uncertainly.

 

“No,” Buffy replied quickly. “No, that’s okay. I was just, uh, looking.”

 

The woman gave her a sympathetic look. “First time?”

 

“Huh? Oh, no, I mean, it’s not possible. We weren’t—we can’t have kids.”

 

In response, the lady pulled a box from the shelf and pressed it into Buffy’s hands. Buffy noticed her name tag for the first time; it read “Sheila.” “The first time is always a surprise,” she replied. “Even when you think you’re prepared. I’ve never had anybody complain about that test.”

 

Buffy stared at the box and sighed. “Thanks.”

 

She made her purchase, thankful when the cashier didn’t meet her eyes and put the box in a paper sack, rather than a plastic one. Of course, the paper sack probably just advertised to everyone in the world that she was buying something for sex. Or something related to sex. As long as she didn’t run into anybody she knew, she’d be fine.

 

“Hi, Buffy!”

 

Oh, no.

 

“Hey, Anya,” Buffy replied, pasting a smile on her face. “How are you?” Then, remembering Xander’s complaints from the day before, she asked, “How was your date?”

 

Anya looked pleased to have been asked. “It was nice. I think we might have dinner again.”

 

“That’s great,” Buffy said, meaning it. Although she felt for Xander, she fully supported Anya getting back in the game.

 

Besides, maybe once Xander fully realized that he didn’t stand a chance with her, he’d start to move on, and Buffy wouldn’t have to listen to him moan for hours.

 

“How have you been?” Anya gave the bag a significant glance. “Are there problems between you and Spike?”

 

“What? No!” Buffy said quickly. “We’re great. Why?”

 

“That’s usually the kind of bag they put condoms in,” Anya said in her usual blunt manner. “You don’t need condoms if you’re sleeping with a vampire.”

 

“It’s for something else,” Buffy replied. “You know, medicine-type stuff.”

 

“Oh,” Anya said wisely. “Yes, I had a few instances of that myself. If you go to the doctor, they can give you a pill for that. It’s much better than the creams.”

 

Buffy really, really didn’t want to know. “Thanks, Anya. I appreciate the advice. I think I’m just going to get this home.”

 

“Okay.” Anya didn’t ask any more questions, for which Buffy was infinitely grateful.

 

All she wanted to do was to get home and get this over with.

 

An hour later, Buffy was still staring at the unopened box.

 

She didn’t have to know, right? If she was pregnant, which she wasn’t, but if she was, it would become obvious eventually. Maybe it would be better to be in denial until then. Denial was good.

 

Except then she wouldn’t know, and it would keep her up at night; the possibility had woken her up long before sunrise the previous night. She’d dreamed of holding a baby, and that it was hers and Spike’s.

 

And she’d been happy about it, not freaked out.

 

“I can do this,” Buffy muttered, tearing open the box and reading the instructions carefully. There was no way she was going to screw this up and get a false positive.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Buffy had her results. She had no idea how she was going to tell Spike.


	3. Decisions

**“I look out my bedroom window pane/Every day, but the view just stays the same/I was young I would run from this place/Come back home and then start it all again/I know just what I want, I know just what I need/It’s a big old house and it’s coming back to haunt me/ We’ll be alright, we’ll be easy/Don’t look back/Don’t look back/Just c’mon, c’mon, c’mon/ Look around at the people in this place/I’m afraid that we’ll end up the same way/So let’s rise, dye our hair, and change our names/Make a wish and just blow it all away.” ~Guster, “C’Mon”**

 

Willow concentrated on the meditation exercise that her mentor had asked her to practice. Over the last couple of months with the coven, Willow had worked very hard at developing a sense of connection with the earth, rather than actually working spells. The difference, her mentors had pointed out time and time again, was that when she felt how everything was connected, she would understand why it was important to work _with_ the natural order, and not against it.

 

She could admit now, at least to herself, how far off she’d been in trying to control Buffy and Spike; Willow had been horribly, horribly wrong, but that had really been the least of her crimes.

 

Spike, after all, had survived, and Buffy had managed to both lift the curse that Willow had placed on him as well as strengthen their relationship.

 

No, Willow could admit that the worst of her crimes had been to resurrect Buffy. Not only had she destroyed the natural order, but she had also sacrificed an innocent creature to further her own ends, and she had hurt Buffy terribly. Now that she understood a little better what all of that meant, Willow knew that they might have to face serious consequences down the road because of what she’d done.

 

When she’d first arrived, Willow hadn’t thought much about any of that. She had been feeling bad, still raw from the spell that Tara, Dawn and Giles had performed, and she’d reasoned that by getting some training, the others would be that much more likely to forgive her.

 

Once she’d been there for a couple of weeks, however, and had begun to understand what Tara had tried to explain to her for all those years—

 

The guilt had been almost overwhelming.

 

As she’d gained control and focus, her mentors had shown her several meditation exercises to go back and examine memories, points in her life that had shaped her. Willow had recognized that she had a need to control others around her, a desire to appear powerful and competent, and a complete inability to admit when she’d done wrong.

 

That truth had hurt.

 

The more time that went by, the better understanding Willow had, and the more she dreaded going back to Sunnydale. Maybe her friends would forgive her for what she’d done, but Willow didn’t see how they would ever be able to trust her again, and she found herself longing for that trust.

 

There had been a time when her friends had looked upon her as “the reliable one,” and while she’d chafed under the distinction at the time, Willow wanted that back now. But her mom had always been fond of telling her that a reputation was hard to build and easy to destroy, and Willow understood that now like she never had before.

 

In all honesty, Willow didn’t think she’d ever be ready to go back to Sunnydale. In any case, she had so much to learn, that she couldn’t even contemplate leaving the coven for months—maybe even years. It was safe here, around people who could and would control her if necessary, people who hadn’t known the old Willow or the new one, but had instead always known her as simply Willow.

 

Willow glanced down at the moist earth, watching as the flower emerged from the ground, unfolding itself in the damp English air.

 

She had learned to create beauty here; Willow didn’t want to leave that behind.

 

“Audra told me I might find you out here.”

 

Giles voice broke into her thoughts, and she glanced up, offering him a wary smile. “Hi, Giles.”

 

“How are you?” he asked kindly.

 

Giles had been kind from the moment he had called off the spell; Willow had never had to find out precisely how he saw her these days, and for that, she would be eternally grateful. “I’m good. How—how are you?”

 

Willow wanted to ask about the others, whether Giles had heard from any of them, and whether they had asked after her. She was too afraid to ask the question, however; what if they didn’t care anymore? They would have every right just to write her off and forget that she’d ever existed.

 

“I’m well.” He hesitated. “So are the others.”

 

Willow nodded. The only person she’d heard from was Xander, but that didn’t surprise her, given the fact that he was the only person she hadn’t hurt horribly. “That’s good.”

 

“I wanted to talk to you about going back,” he said gently.

 

Willow immediately shook her head. “I can’t, Giles. I’m not ready. Audra told you that, right?”

 

“She told me the exact opposite, actually,” he responded. “Audra believes that you’re ready to go back to Sunnydale.”

 

“Giles—”

 

“Do you not want to go back because you believe that you aren’t ready, or because you’re afraid that they won’t accept you?” he asked.

 

Willow sighed, feeling compelled to be honest with him. “Mostly that they won’t accept me,” she admitted. “But I don’t know that I’m not going to give into temptation, either.”

 

“No one does,” Giles pointed out. “When I decided to become a Watcher, I did not know that I would be able to resist the pull of Eyghon, but I did.”

 

“But there were consequences,” Willow pointed out.

 

Giles gave her one of his patented looks, the one that indicated she was being stupid. “There are always consequences.”

 

“Why now?” she asked.

 

He shook his head. “There are various reasons, but perhaps the most important right now is the fact that the coven believes that Dawn may be in danger. While we had once believed that her identity as the Key was gone once Glory was defeated, it is apparent that we were mistaken.” Giles hesitated. “And the coven believes that trouble may be coming from another area as well.”

 

Willow frowned. “What other area?”

 

“We’re waiting for more information,” Giles replied vaguely.

 

His tone led Willow to believe that Giles knew something that he wasn’t willing to tell her. “When do I leave?” she asked. “And has anyone told Buffy yet?”

 

Giles smiled. “Would you like me to call her, or do you want to do it?”

 

Willow sighed. “I guess it should probably be me.”

 

He patted her on the shoulder. “Let me know when you want to call. I’ll talk to her, too.”

 

“That’s probably a good idea,” Willow said weakly. She had no idea how Buffy was going to react to the news that she was coming home; she just hoped that she could forgive her.

 

~~~~~

 

Spike raised an eyebrow when Buffy ushered him inside the house. “Did you already eat?” she asked.

 

“Just a bit ago, yeah,” he replied. “What’s up, luv? Thought we were patrolling tonight.”

 

Buffy sighed. “I think we need to talk.”

 

“Talk about what?”

 

“About us.”

 

Spike got a sinking feeling in his gut. He didn’t like the sound of that. “Alright.”

 

“It’s about the thing that we were talking about last night,” Buffy said slowly. Leading him over to the couch and taking a seat.

 

Spike frowned, sinking down next to her. “Okay.”

 

“Itookapregnancytest.”

 

She said it so quickly that Spike had a hard time deciphering her meaning. “You what?”

 

“I took a test. To see if I’m pregnant,” Buffy said. “I was thinking about what you said the other night, and I wanted to rule it out.”

 

Somehow, Spike didn’t think that’s what had happened. “Came up positive?”

 

“Yes.”

 

It was almost a whisper. Spike ran a hand over his face. “Right, then. What are we gonna do about it, luv?”

 

“I don’t know,” Buffy replied. “I mean, I’m not ready to be a mom, Spike. I have a hard enough time with Dawn. How am I going to handle a baby?”

 

Spike swallowed. He wanted this child with a passion that startled him. “I don’t know, Buffy, but I’ll help. You know I’ll do whatever I can for you.”

 

She looked startled for a moment, then asked incredulously, “Do you think I’d get rid of it?”

 

“It’s an option, innit?” Spike asked. “You could, if that’s what you wanted.”

 

Buffy swallowed audibly. “Is that what you want?”

 

“Not about that, is it?” Spike pointed out stolidly.

 

She glared at him. “Actually, it really is.”

 

Looking away, then back at her, he sighed. “You think I’m ever gonna have another shot at this, Buffy? I never thought I’d have a kid, but I don’t want to lose the opportunity. It’s a part of me; it ties us together.”

 

“You don’t think I feel the same way?” she demanded. “You’re the only man I want to be with, Spike, and so this is pretty much my only shot as well.”

 

“You were the one who said you weren’t ready,” he shot back with a scowl.

 

Buffy flopped back onto the couch. “I’m not.”

 

“But you still want to keep the baby?”

 

“Yeah. I mean, I haven’t thought about it a lot. I’m still in shock, but yeah.”

 

Spike nodded slowly, letting out an unneeded breath. “Right. Then we’re in this together.”

 

“Aren’t we always?” Buffy asked.

 

He touched her cheek. “Yeah, that’s the truth.”

 

~~~~~

 

“I think this is the one we want.”

 

Dawn looked up in relief. Merlin was asleep in Tara’s lap, having worn himself out with the string. Tara had called Buffy earlier that evening, letting her know that Dawn would be spending the night with her, although Dawn didn’t think they were going to have much fun. Research was interesting up to a certain point, and then it was just boring.

 

They had been at it all day, with a brief stop for dinner, and Dawn was beginning to feel a lot less left out. She’d always been annoyed when Buffy insisted that she not look at the magic books, or really help research in the past, but now she felt as though it had been a blessing in disguise.

 

Of course, the worst part was that now that she’d proved her mettle at researching, Buffy was probably going to make her help in the future.

 

“What kind of a spell is it?” Dawn asked.

 

Tara frowned as she read over the spell once again. “It’s a spell to open a portal to another dimension, and it’s going to need your blood.”

 

Dawn’s eyes widened. “Wait a minute. Isn’t that moving a little fast? We should do something else first, to see if I’m really the Key.”

 

Tara gave her a sympathetic look. “We know that, Dawn. You told me what you saw when you did the spell for true sight.”

 

She sighed. “Yeah, but…”

 

“We’re going to have to talk to Buffy first,” Tara continued. “If she says it’s okay, then we can do the spell.”

 

“But what if—” Dawn stopped, remembering the last time her blood had been used to open a portal; it had cost her sister’s life to close it.

 

“That was uncontrolled.” Tara reached over to squeeze her hand. “I wouldn’t suggest this unless I thought that it was safe.”

 

“Okay.” It was Dawn’s greatest fear at this point—that she could be used to start the next apocalypse. The idea that her blood could open all the doors between worlds once again, causing Buffy to have to choose between sacrificing her sister and sacrificing herself—it had been enough to give her nightmares over the last months. Dawn wanted to learn how to control that ability, so she didn’t have to wonder if it would mean the end of the world every time she got a paper cut.

 

“We’ll talk to Buffy tomorrow,” Tara said. “She told me that Spike was coming over tonight, and you know how much she hates being interrupted.”

 

Dawn pulled a face. Although they had done a fairly good job _not_ scarring her for life, it was still weird to think about them having sex a couple of rooms away. The idea had been nice in the abstract, when she’d wanted them to be together, but the reality was something else altogether. “That’s probably a good idea,” she agreed. “It’s not like we’re in a hurry.”

 

~~~~~

 

Word on the street after Rack had died was that the Slayer had gone after him for daring to touch her little sister. There were whispers as to why Rack had wanted the girl, but nothing definitive, at least not until a witness came forward—one of the men Rack had hired to snatch Dawn.

 

It had taken him a while to speak up about what he knew because he’d been more than a little worried about the Slayer finding out that he’d had a hand in the business. What had finally led him to speak out was overhearing a few demons discussing the various theories; they were divided as to whether Spike had been involved, and several seemed to think that grabbing the girl had been a mistake.

 

The lure of revealing that he had inside information had him speaking up. “That girl is special,” Ray said, butting in on the conversation.

 

The demons paused, giving him dirty looks. Ray was known in Sunnydale as a human who would do a demon’s dirty work; he was a bottom-feeder, a jackal—but he also generally knew what he was talking about. “What’s that?” a Koral demon asked, its snake-like tongue hissing in and out of its mouth.

 

Ray shrugged. “Rack wanted the girl because she was special. He said she had enough power to keep him and his clients high for years.”

 

Another demon of nondescript parentage perked up at that. “Do you think she’d be worth something?”

 

“Worth what?” a horned demon asked incredulously. “Worth getting killed by the Slayer? You know what happened to Rack.”

 

“We could take the Slayer out,” the Koral demon pointed out.

 

The horned demon, Bob, shook his head. “Forget it. You mess with the Slayer, you mess with Spike, too. That’s what happened to Rack, you know. He pissed the both of them off, and then there was a witch with her, too.”

 

The Koral gave Ray an intense stare. “What’s so special about this girl?”

 

“Rack said her blood had energy, that she was energy concentrated in human form.” He raised his hands, not wanting to get in any deeper. “I don’t know anything more than that, man.”

 

“I’m not a man,” the Koral demon growled. He frowned, thinking. “I know a guy,” he mused. “He likes interesting things. He might be interested in the girl.” The demon grinned, baring several rows of shiny teeth. “Might be he would even pay for the information.”

 

Ray liked the sound of that. “You need anything, you let me know,” he offered. “I followed the kid around for a week or two, to learn her schedule. I could grab her again for you.”

 

“Not yet,” the Koral replied. “But when the time is right, I’ll let you know.”

 

~~~~~

 

They had decided to forego patrol that night in favor of talking. Buffy reflected that they actually did a lot of talking these days, in between patrolling together, having dinner with Dawn and sometimes Tara and Anya, and just hanging out. In fact, Buffy actually felt like she had a family now, for the first time in a long time.

 

Reflecting on that fact, Buffy began to believe that they might actually make it.

 

Buffy leaned up against Spike’s chest on the couch, feeling his hand playing with the ends of her hair. “Do you want me to move in?” he asked.

 

“I don’t know,” Buffy admitted. “It would make sense, but I would have to be sure that social services isn’t going to have a problem with my boyfriend living here.” Spike was quiet for so long that Buffy started getting worried. “What are you thinking about?”

 

“What if I wasn’t your boyfriend?” he asked.

 

Buffy frowned. “What else would you be?”

 

“Your fiancé.”

 

Buffy blinked. “Huh?”

 

“If you told them you were getting married to me, it wouldn’t look so bad, would it?” Spike said. “I could be here during the day, if you needed to go to work or class. Seems like it would be the best solution.”

 

Buffy couldn’t argue with that, but it seemed so sudden. She loved him, and Buffy couldn’t think of anyone else she would rather spend the rest of her life with, but they were talking about becoming parents, and Spike moving in. It seemed—permanent.

 

“Never mind,” Spike said, apparently taking her silence as disagreement. “We’ll work it out another way.”

 

“No,” Buffy said quickly. “It’s not that it’s a bad plan, Spike. It’s just—everything changed overnight, you know? It’s so much.”

 

“We wouldn’t have to get married,” Spike said quietly. “You could just tell them we’re going to do it in the future. Tell them we don’t have the money yet, with the baby on the way. By the time they figure out it’s never gonna happen, Dawn will be too old for them to care.”

 

Buffy felt a pang. “So you don’t want to get married?”

 

“Well, it’s obviously not what you want,” Spike retorted.

 

Buffy sat up, the earlier mood completely broken. “Okay, you know what? Just—” Whatever she might have said was cut off by the ringing of the phone, which was probably a good thing. Buffy knew that if she’d finished that sentence, she would have regretted it.

 

“Hello?” she said as soon as she picked up the receiver.

 

“Hey, Buffy.”

 

Buffy hadn’t heard from Willow since she had left for England, although she’d gotten updates from Xander and Giles. Truthfully, Buffy hadn’t known what to say to her, and that fact hadn’t changed. “Hey, Willow.”

 

“How are you?” Willow’s voice was tentative, cautious, and much less self-assured than it had been in a very long time. For some reason, that helped.

 

Buffy laughed. “Things are crazy here; that much hasn’t changed. How are you?”

 

“I’m good.” Willow paused. “I’m coming home.”

 

There was a beat before Buffy could summon up the appropriate enthusiasm. “Okay. That’s great.”

 

“Giles thinks you might need me,” Willow explained, sounding apologetic. “I guess the coven thinks that something might be going on with Dawn, and Giles said that there was something else coming up, but he couldn’t tell me any more than that.”

 

Buffy cursed silently. She assumed that Giles knew about the pregnancy already, probably through the same freaky way the coven thought that something was going on with Dawn. “Well, if you feel like you’re ready to come back…”

 

“I don’t,” Willow said honestly. “But they think I need to.” There was another, longer pause. “I’m really sorry, Buffy. I—I know I haven’t apologized to Spike yet, and I feel like I should. And Dawn. I didn’t get a chance to tell Dawn either, or Tara. I don’t know—no, I know what happened, but I don’t think I can talk about it over the phone.”

 

“It’s okay, Will,” Buffy said quickly, cutting off whatever other apologies she was going to try to make. “We can talk about it when you get here.”

 

“Giles wanted to talk to you, too,” Willow said. “Do you mind?”

 

“No, put him on,” Buffy replied.

 

Willow didn’t say goodbye, but Buffy didn’t blame her. Things were still very awkward between the two of them; she didn’t think that it would ever be the same.

 

“Hello, Buffy,” Giles said. “Willow told you that she’s returning to Sunnydale.”

 

It was a statement, not a question, and Buffy knew that he’d been listening to Willow’s side of the conversation. “She did. You think it’s a good idea?”

 

“I do. I think you’re going to need someone very powerful, Buffy.” He paused. “The coven—”

 

“How the hell did they know I was pregnant, Giles?” Buffy demanded.

 

She could almost hear him wince. “They have their seers, Buffy. Your child is going to be a target, you know. The child of the Slayer and a vampire will be an invaluable prize.”

 

“And they think Dawn is going to be a target too,” Buffy added. “Why, Giles?”

 

“She’s still the Key, Buffy,” Giles reminded her gently. “We all believed that whatever qualities Dawn’s blood contained lapsed with Glory’s death. There was no reason to believe differently, but it appears that wasn’t the case.”

 

Buffy sighed. “I know. I’ll have to talk to her. When are you sending Willow home?”

 

“I’ll probably accompany her,” Giles replied. “I think we’ll be there within the month. I wanted to give you all time.” He hesitated. “Have you told Spike yet?”

 

“Tonight,” Buffy replied. “We were just talking about it when Willow called.”

 

“How did he react?”

 

“Better than I did,” she admitted. “We’re still exploring our options.”

 

Giles was quiet for a moment. “Far be it from me to tell you how to live your life, Buffy, but I think it might be wise for Spike to move in. You will need the added protection.”

 

“We were just talking about that,” Buffy said. “Or we were planning on it.”

 

“I’ll let you get back to it, then.” She could almost hear the wheels turn in his head as Giles tried to figure out the right thing to say. “Take care of yourself, Buffy.”

 

“You, too.”

 

She hung up and turned back to the living room where Spike was waiting for her, his face expressionless. Funny how easy it was to shut the communication down between them, given how close they normally were these days. “You heard?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

His monosyllabic answer gave Buffy no idea what he was thinking. “Spike—”

 

“Look, Slayer, I don’t know any more about this than you do,” Spike burst out. “I’ve never had a kid, and I’ve never dated the bloody Slayer, or any of it, but I’m not letting you shut me out of this. It _is_ my kid, and I’ve got every right to make half the decisions.”

 

Buffy sighed. “You’re right.”

 

Spike opened his mouth to argue, then stopped abruptly. “Huh?”

 

“We have time, Spike,” Buffy said. “We’ve got at least another six months to figure all of this out.”

 

He took a deep, unnecessary breath. “Right, then.” Spike looked down at his hands, then back up at her. “So, Red’s coming back?”

 

“Yeah.” Buffy shook her head. “I didn’t know what to say.”

 

She rarely knew what to say.


	4. Coming Home

**“Swept away/By the wonder of it all/So amazed/Never saw it coming/Left me dazed/And I don’t know where to turn/Here and now/Seems I’m standing on the edge/Looking down/I can clearly see your face in the crowd/Makes me feel I’m not alone/If I fall…will you catch me?” ~Aqualung, “If I Fall”**

 

Xander wondered if he was the only person who was excited about Willow coming back to Sunnydale, because no one else had appeared terribly enthusiastic at the news. Well, Anya was too caught up in her new boyfriend to care much one way or another, but Buffy was definitely not thrilled.

 

“You know she’s changed, Buffy,” Xander said, raising his voice so that she could hear him over the noise in the Bronze. “We’ve all done stupid stuff.”

 

Buffy shook her head. “I _don’t_ know that she’s changed, Xander. I haven’t talked to her in months, and she nearly got both Spike and Dawn killed the last time she was in town.”

 

Xander couldn’t argue with her there. “We’ve talked a few times,” he said. “I think Willow knows what she did was wrong, and there’s no way she’d hurt Spike or Dawn again.”

 

“That isn’t the point, Xan.” Buffy sighed. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

 

Xander sensed that there might be another problem brewing. “Where’s Spike tonight? I thought he was meeting us here.”

 

“He is,” Buffy replied. “He said he was going to pick Tara and Dawn up on his way, since Dawn spent the night with Tara last night. She’s been over there all day.”

 

Xander frowned. “What’s at Tara’s?”

 

“She got a new kitten,” Buffy replied wryly. “I have a feeling that Dawn will be over there a lot.”

 

He nodded. “You could always get a pet. I know Dawn keeps asking you for one.”

 

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘begging,’” Buffy replied. “And I think we’re going to have our hands full enough pretty soon.”

 

Xander frowned, not liking the sound of that. The tone of Buffy’s voice indicated that there was something big on the way—something apocalypse-sized. When Willow had told him she was coming home, she’d said that the coven was worried about the Key, among other things. “What’s up, Buffy?”

 

“I’ll tell you when the others get here,” she replied vaguely. “I don’t want to tell the story more than once.”

 

There was something in her eyes that worried him, and Xander laid a hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “You know you can count on me for anything, right? If you’re having trouble with Spike, you can tell me. I promise that I won’t even say anything bad about him, unless you want me to.”

 

To his consternation, Buffy looked as though she was about to cry. “Oh, Xander.”

 

Tara showed up with Dawn at her heels just then, causing Buffy to hurriedly blink back the tears. “Hey, guys,” Xander said, trying to give her some time to compose herself. “What’s this I hear about a new kitten?”

 

“He’s so cute!” Dawn gushed. “Tara named him Merlin.”

 

“I’ll bring him over to Buffy’s house next time we have a Scooby meeting,” Tara offered. “If Buffy doesn’t mind.”

 

“I don’t mind.” Buffy managed a smile. “Where’s Spike?”

 

“He went to get drinks,” Dawn replied, glancing at Xander. “He said that he’d get you a beer, too.”

 

It was that sort of thing that prevented Xander from hating the guy. Not that he liked Spike, but Buffy was happier with Spike around—most of the time—and for that alone, Xander had decided that he would deal with his presence in their lives.

 

A few moments later, Spike appeared with a tray full of drinks, and he set about distributing them without any of his usual commentary. Xander was getting the feeling that something was seriously off.

 

“So what’s the big news, Buffy?” Xander asked, wanting to break the tension.

 

There was a long pause as Buffy stared down into her drink before she said, “I’m pregnant.” Glancing up at Spike and meeting his eyes, she added, “Or, I guess _we’re_ pregnant. Spike and I.”

 

Xander could see Dawn’s wide eyes and Tara’s shock as well. He knew he probably looked like a stranded fish. “You guys are what?” Dawn asked in a loud squeak as the first to find her voice.

 

“We’re pregnant,” Buffy repeated. “And keep your voice down.”

 

Tara cleared her throat. “Congratulations.”

 

“Ta,” Spike said, not sounding very enthusiastic.

 

Xander was looking at Buffy, noting the tension between her and Spike, and he asked quietly, “Are you guys okay with this?”

 

Spike gave him a startled look, obviously taken aback by his inclusion in the question, and he shrugged. “It gives us a lot to talk about.”

 

Xander winced. He knew how those kinds of talks tended to go, and he had seen how prickly Buffy was these days. The source of the tension was now fairly obvious.

 

“Isn’t this a good thing?” Dawn asked, sounding bewildered. “I mean, you guys are together, and this baby is like a miracle, right?”

 

“Right,” Spike said firmly, shooting Buffy a look. “It’s a good thing, Dawn. Think your sister’s just worried about what it means.”

 

Xander suddenly understood. _This_ was the other reason that Willow was coming back to Sunnydale, and now Buffy not only had her kid sister to worry about, but a baby that was going to spell trouble.

 

And Xander knew exactly how cranky Buffy could get when she started to feel the pressure.

 

“We’ll all help,” Xander said. “You know that, Buffy. We’ll work it out.”

 

She shot him a grateful look. “Thanks, Xander.”

 

“I think I’m going to shoot some pool,” he said. “Spike? You want to join me?”

 

Spike stood with alacrity. “Yeah, that sounds good. You okay with that, luv?” he asked Buffy.

 

“Go ahead,” she replied, mustering up a smile for him.

 

Xander watched as they seemed to communicate with only their eyes, and then Spike bent to giver her a swift kiss on the lips.

 

Xander had often thought that if he and Anya had been able to master the art of silent communication, they might have stood a chance. Although, seeing Spike and Buffy struggle made him think that it wasn’t quite so easy.

 

~~~~~

 

“We wanted to talk to you,” Tara said, once Xander and Spike had gone off to play pool.

 

Buffy didn’t like the way that sounded. “About what?”

 

“Dawn?” Tara said, nudging the girl.

 

Dawn slumped down a little farther in her seat. “I did a spell.”

 

Buffy took a deep breath and counted to ten; she’d been trying not to fly off the handle quite so much over the last day or two. Knowing why she was so hormonal had helped her self-control a bit. “Okay. When was this?”

 

“A few days ago, when you were on patrol with Spike,” Dawn replied. “Spike caught me.”

 

Buffy frowned. “He didn’t say anything to me.”

 

“He said I could talk to Tara first because you’ve been acting like…” Dawn trailed off. “Never mind.”

 

Buffy glared at her. “I haven’t been that bad. You could have talked to me about this, Dawn.”

 

“I didn’t want you to overreact,” Dawn protested. “Besides, I needed to know, and Tara’s the one who does the magic stuff.”

 

Taking another deep breath, Buffy asked, “Okay, so what did you find out?”

 

“Not much,” Dawn admitted. “Just that I’m still the Key. Tara has an idea for another spell, though, to see if I can still, you know, open doors.”

 

At Buffy’s sharp look, Tara quickly spoke up. “It’s safe, Buffy. I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise, but I do think that it’s a good idea to find out exactly what Dawn’s capable of.”

 

Buffy sighed. “Okay, but I don’t want you doing any more spells without supervision, Dawn. I mean it.”

 

“Okay,” Dawn agreed. “Some of my friends are here tonight. Can I go talk to them?”

 

“Go,” Buffy said, watching as she darted off into the crowd.

 

Tara reached over to touch her hand. “What’s going on, Buffy?”

 

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I just—this isn’t what I wanted, Tara. I did _not_ want to be pregnant. I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant, not with Spike. Things were going so well, and now—” Buffy broke off. “Spike’s talking about moving in, and getting married, and I don’t even know if I want this baby.”

 

Tara looked sympathetic. “Are you going to keep it?”

 

“Yeah,” Buffy replied. “I know Spike wants it, and this is probably his only chance. It might be my only chance. It doesn’t seem fair to just terminate the pregnancy and act like it never happened.”

 

“It’s still your decision,” Tara said gently. “Even if Spike wants it, you—”

 

“No,” Buffy said firmly. “I will deal with this, but I’m probably going to be cranky for a while.”

 

Tara smiled. “You’re allowed.”

 

“How are you? With Willow coming back?”

 

“I don’t know,” Tara admitted. “It’s hard. I still love her, but after what happened, I can’t trust her.” She hesitated, then added, “I know that she’s going to be around more than she was after we broke up, and that’s going to make it harder.”

 

Buffy understood. It had been a relief to have Angel and Riley leave town after those relationships had ended, but with Parker, she’d had to see him in classes, in the cafeteria, and a dozen other places around campus. If something ever happened between her and Spike, she wouldn’t have a choice about seeing him. Buffy knew that he’d stick around for Dawn, and there would be no getting rid of him now that she was having their child, but it would make things harder.

 

Nothing was going to happen between them, though. Buffy refused to lose the best thing that had ever happened to her. Even when they were fighting, she knew what a good thing she had.

 

“I think you know that we’re on your side in this, Tara,” Buffy said. “We need you.”

 

“I appreciate that,” Tara responded. “And you know I’ll help any way I can with the baby.”

 

“I know.” Buffy sighed. “I just hope that Giles doesn’t tell me that this is part of some prophecy. I can’t help waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know?”

 

They did live on the Hellmouth, after all.

 

~~~~~

 

“Things okay with you two?” Xander asked casually.

 

Spike was a little suspicious; Xander was rarely this nice to him, which led him to believe that the other man had something up his sleeve. “It’s fine. You know how Buffy gets when she’s scared, though.”

 

Xander winced. “Yeah, I remember several memorable occasions.”

 

Spike grunted his agreement. “Take that and add in the hormones, and you’ve got some idea of what’s going on.”

 

“Do you want this kid, Spike?”

 

It was only the sincerity in Xander’s voice that had Spike replying, otherwise he’d have brushed off the question. “Yeah. This is the only chance I’ve got, right?”

 

“I guess so.”

 

There was a long silence while they took turns shooting pool, Spike deliberately missing on a couple of occasions to make the game last a little longer.

 

“You know anything about this guy Anya’s seeing?” Xander asked.

 

Spike was afraid that Xander might bring that up. Although he thought it was only what Xander deserved for letting her go, Spike wasn’t sure that he wanted to bring up the fact that he’d introduced Anya to her date. “I’ve met him,” he said cautiously.

 

“He’s nice, though?” Xander pressed. “I mean, it’s good that she’s dating again, right? I want her to be happy. I just—I want to be sure that he’s a nice guy.”

 

“He’s nice,” Spike said, feeling a little more sympathetic in the face of Xander’s concern for Anya. Spike could only imagine what he’d be feeling if their positions were reversed, and it was Buffy that was beginning to date other people. “Don’t think you have to worry about that.”

 

Xander nodded. “Good. As long as he’s okay.”

 

Spike didn’t bother mentioning the fact that Anya’s date was half-demon; he figured he’d let her be the one to spill that news. The lack of animosity between him and Xander was a refreshing change, and there was enough drama going on with Buffy at the moment.

 

Spike preferred having peace on the domestic front; they had enough enemies without fighting among themselves.

 

Although the making up wasn’t too bad.

 

~~~~~

 

Dawn swallowed nervously, watching as Tara made the spell preparations, explaining as she went. She talked about focusing energy, about working with the natural forces, and not against them. Dawn didn’t know that there was this much to magic; she’d thought that you lit candles, maybe chanted, and then things happened.

 

This was a lot more complicated.

 

“Do you understand what you’re going to do?” Tara asked when she’d finished setting up the circle in the center of the training room in the back of the Magic Box.

 

Dawn nodded. “I think so.”

 

“It’s going to be fine, Dawnie,” Tara assured her. “You’re only creating one portal, not a hundred of them.”

 

“What if I can’t close it?” Dawn asked. “And what if something comes out?”

 

“That’s what we’re here for,” Buffy said from a corner of the room. She was standing next to Spike, and Dawn noticed that their shoulders were brushing, so they must be getting along today; it had been hit or miss the last couple of weeks. Of course, it wasn’t like Spike and Buffy fighting was anything new. They fought all the time, and then they made up. That was just them.

 

Dawn stepped into the circle, keeping Tara’s advice in mind. She needed to focus and remember that this was supposed to come naturally, if it came at all. Closing her eyes, she focused on her breathing, concentrating on the beat of her heart, on her own energy. Dawn knew she couldn’t see magic like Tara did, but she could sense it when she really focused. _She_ was energy, and therefore Tara thought it would be natural for her to have a sense for it.

 

When Dawn finally opened her eyes, it was as though everything was far away, and she took the needle that Tara had sterilized and pricked her thumb.

 

The drop of blood seemed to hang suspended in the air before it fell, then disappeared about two feet above the floor of the training room. There was a gust of wind that blew Dawn’s hair back from her face, and then she was looking out into a green pasture with strange looking animals placidly chewing on foliage.

 

It had been the safest dimension that Anya knew of, and Dawn had been concentrating very hard on getting this right. Swallowing her squeal of excitement, Dawn squeezed out another drop of blood from the pinprick on her thumb and watched as the portal closed.

 

Dawn whirled to look at Tara, squealing with excitement. “I did it!”

 

“Good job, Dawnie,” Tara said immediately. “That was perfect.”

 

She looked at Buffy and Spike. Her sister was smiling, but she also appeared worried. “That was great, Dawn.”

 

Spike was a little more enthusiastic. “Right the first time out, Bit! Well done. I suppose this means you’ll be getting yourself out of trouble from now on.”

 

Dawn glowed with her accomplishment. “I’ll need more practice, and I have to get more information from Anya about all the different dimensions, but I could go anywhere.”

 

“Not so fast,” Buffy replied severely. “No going to other dimensions unless you check with someone first, unless it’s an emergency. And by that I mean a life-threatening, world-ending sort of emergency, not a chemistry test sort of emergency.”

 

“I wouldn’t use it to skip class,” Dawn said quickly, although the thought had crossed her mind. There were people that she would much rather avoid, that was for sure. Seeing the look on Buffy’s face, she quickly promised. “I won’t open any portals without letting someone know, unless it’s an emergency.”

 

Buffy seemed to relax a little at that. “Good. I’m glad you have a way to get out of trouble quickly, Dawnie.”

 

“Let’s get out of here,” Spike suggested. “We should celebrate.”

 

“Are you buying?” Buffy asked with a smile.

 

Spike scowled, but the humor in his eyes was apparent. “You’ve got your own money, and you’re going to make the bloke pay?”

 

Buffy smirked. “Of course. That’s the way it’s supposed to work.”

 

Dawn heard Spike mutter something about “sexism,” and he offered her his arm. “Since you’re the woman of the hour,” he said. “We should see if Anya wants to close up early. Might as well enjoy ourselves while we’ve got the chance.”

 

Dawn knew exactly what Spike was referring to; they only had a couple of weeks until Willow came back, and then everything would be awkward until they all got used to one another again.

 

She wasn’t looking forward to Willow coming back; the memories of what Rack had done to her—and what Spike had gone through—were too recent. Dawn knew that Willow probably wouldn’t _try_ to hurt her or Spike again, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to make things better, or do a spell to hurry their acceptance along.

 

Dawn was just grateful that Willow wasn’t going to be staying at their house. Xander had already said that she could stay with him, which meant that Dawn had a little more time to get used to Willow’s return.

 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe Giles was right, and Willow really had changed.

 

But Dawn wasn’t holding her breath.

 

~~~~~

 

Willow stepped off the plane, feeling more anxious than she had in a long time. She hitched her backpack a little more securely over one shoulder and gave Giles an anxious glance. “It’s going to be fine,” he assured her.

 

She nodded, looking for familiar faces in the crowd. A path cleared, and she could see Xander waving at her. He was there in the next moment, and his enthusiastic embrace caused Willow to bury her face in his shoulder, relishing the feeling of his strong arms.

 

Willow had missed this—so much.

 

When Xander finally took a step back, she smiled at him. “How are you?”

 

“I’m good,” he replied with a crooked grin. “Hey, G-Man.”

 

“I do wish you wouldn’t call me that,” Giles replied, but he met Xander’s handshake. “Where’s Buffy?”

 

“The morning sickness finally caught up with her,” Xander replied. “When I went over there to pick her up, Buffy was puking her guts up.”

 

Willow frowned. “Wait. Morning sickness?”

 

Xander winced. “You didn’t know?”

 

“Know what?” Willow asked. “Buffy’s pregnant? What happened to Spike? I thought they were still together.”

 

Giles sighed. “I had hoped that Buffy would have told you already. Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I don’t see the need to hide anything. She’s pregnant with Spike’s child as a result of the spell she did to lift the curse.”

 

Willow felt a sinking feeling. “How’s she dealing with it?” she asked in a small voice. Buffy wouldn’t have had to do that spell if she hadn’t put the curse on Spike, which meant it was her fault that Buffy was pregnant. And if Buffy wasn’t happy about it, Willow had a feeling that things could get even more uncomfortable than they were already.

 

Xander shrugged. “She’s dealing. They’re working things out, anyway. You’ll have to ask her about it, since we’re supposed to head back to her place.” Xander gave her a reassuring smile. “Buffy does want to see you, Will.”

 

Willow managed a smile, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to believe him. More likely than not, Buffy was putting on a happy face, or was trying to.

 

The next few months could get very, very interesting.


	5. Forgiveness and Stuff

**“Steal my heart and hold my tongue/I feel my time, my time has come/Let me in, unlock the door/I’ve never felt this way before/And the wheels just keep on turning/The drummer begins to drum/I don’t know which way I’m going/I don’t know which way I’ve come/Hold my head inside your hands/I need someone who understands/I need someone, someone who hears/For you, I’ve waited all these years/For you I’d wait ‘til kingdom come/Until my day, my day is done/And say you’ll wait to set me free/Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me/In your tears and in your blood/In your fire and in your flood/I hear you laugh, I heard you sing/I wouldn’t change a single thing…” ~Coldplay, “’Til Kingdom Come”**

 

Spike opened the door, ushering their guests inside without meeting Willow’s eyes. “I told Buffy to have a lie-down,” he said. “She should be down in a bit if you want to wait.”

 

“How is she doing?” Giles asked, the concern in his voice nearly tangible. “She didn’t seem to be suffering too many symptoms when I spoke with her the other day.”

 

Spike shrugged. “She just started having the morning sickness yesterday. Today was the worst, but we’ve got a doctor’s appointment in a couple days. Maybe they’ll have a solution.”

 

“Where is Dawn?” Xander asked. “I thought she’d be here.”

 

Spike looked uncomfortable. “Think she’s at the Magic Box, picking Anya’s brain.” He was still avoiding Willow’s eyes; he didn’t like the girl, although not because of what she’d done to him. Spike viewed the curse as the catalyst that had caused Buffy to figure out her feelings for him that much sooner.

 

What Spike found it impossible to forgive was the harm done to Dawn; he wasn’t sure that he’d ever be completely comfortable in Willow’s presence—mostly because he was trying not to think about killing her.

 

“I’ll have to go over there later,” Giles said.

 

Spike nodded, relieved that no one was going to press him for answers as to why Buffy and Dawn weren’t anxious to see Willow again. He wasn’t sure he could remain tactful.

 

“Maybe we should go,” Willow suggested, looking at Xander. “We could come back later when Buffy’s feeling better.”

 

Spike knew that he should probably protest, or at least offer to let Buffy know they were leaving, but he didn’t want to. “Yeah. I can give you a call, Harris.”

 

Xander met his eyes, seeing his meaning without any trouble. “Sure. Maybe later tonight, if Buffy’s feeling up to it.”

 

They left, and Giles gave him a sharp look. “How is Buffy taking this really?”

 

“She’s not happy,” Spike replied. “She’d rather it not have happened.”

 

Giles sighed. “I can certainly understand her feelings on the matter. It does complicate things. She’s chosen to keep the child, though?”

 

“Yeah,” Spike replied. “Think she’s doing it more for me, though.”

 

“And how are you doing with things?” Giles asked, following Spike into the kitchen, watching as Spike put the kettle on without being asked.

 

Spike hesitated, not sure how honest he could be with the Watcher. “I’m thrilled,” he finally admitted. “Feel a bit guilty for that, though, since Buffy’s so unhappy.” He turned to look at Giles, a smile tilting the corners of his lips. “It’s my child.”

 

“It’s a natural reaction, Spike,” Giles responded. “I’m sure I’d feel much the same. Have you two talked about arrangements? I’m assuming that you’ll be moving in to help out.”

 

Spike shrugged, not wanting to air his and Buffy’s differences in public. Although they hadn’t fought about him moving in again, or their getting married, Spike hadn’t brought it up. “We’re still talking about it,” was all he said. “Tea?”

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy had heard the others come in; the noise had woken her from her nap. The last couple of days had sucked, to put it mildly. If this was the way the whole nine months was going to be, Buffy didn’t think she could be held responsible for her bitchiness.

 

She hated to admit it, even to herself, but it was a relief to hear Willow suggest that she and Xander come back later. Buffy didn’t know what to say to Willow these days, not after what she’d done to Spike and Dawn. Buffy wanted to forgive her friend; she wanted Willow back in her life again.

 

Buffy just didn’t know if it was possible.

 

She would have to see Willow eventually, however, and Buffy knew that they would need her help in the coming months. Things had been pretty quiet on the Hellmouth lately, which could only mean one thing: things were about to get interesting again.

 

As soon as Xander and Willow had gone, Buffy came down the stairs, stopping just outside of the kitchen when Giles asked Spike how she was doing with things. Listening to Spike’s responses, hearing the quiet joy in his voice when he said, “It’s my child,” reminded her that they still hadn’t really talked about their fight from the other night.

 

Buffy knew that she wasn’t being entirely fair to him.

 

She waited for a moment before entering the kitchen, wanting to be sure that her eavesdropping wasn’t obvious. “Hi, Giles.”

 

“Buffy.” He greeted her with an affectionate embrace. “How are you?”

 

“I’m hanging in there,” she replied with a rueful smile. “This pregnancy stuff isn’t for sissies.”

 

He smiled, but Buffy could see the concern lingering in his eyes. “We should probably talk about this.” Giles glanced at Spike. “Perhaps—”

 

“I’ve got an errand to run,” Spike said quickly. “I’ll see you both later.”

 

Buffy realized that Spike was going to leave without any more of a farewell than that, and she quickly followed him as he headed toward the front door. “Spike, wait.”

 

He half-turned. “Need me to pick something up, pet?”

 

Buffy didn’t bother with words; she sucked at finding the right thing to say, so she wasn’t even going to try this time. Instead, she grabbed his arm and bodily turned him to face her, then pulled his head down to hers.

 

She could feel his indecision as he tried to decide whether or not to respond, but he softened in the end and returned her embrace. When she finally broke it off to breathe, he murmured, “What was that for?”

 

“That was me telling you that I want to talk later,” Buffy replied. “And to say sorry for being a bitch.”

 

Spike’s thumb caressed her cheekbone. “You haven’t been that bad, Buffy. Maybe a bit cranky, but I’m not the best of company when I’m not feeling well either.”

 

“Yeah, but you’re a vampire, and you never get sick,” she pointed out. “Which means you’re pretty much the one who has to put up with me.”

 

He smiled. “Putting up with you is what I do best.”

 

“We’ll talk later?” she persisted.

 

“I’ll talk about whatever you want,” Spike said. “If you still want to patrol, I’ll bet Giles would stay with Dawn.”

 

Buffy gave him a rueful smile. “If my stomach is settled. Otherwise, I say we head to your place.”

 

Spike gave her the smirk that made her go weak in the knees. “Sounds about right to me. It’ll give me an opportunity to give you a proper seeing to.”

 

“I’m going to hold you to that,” she warned him.

 

“Good to know,” he replied, giving her a quick kiss before picking up his blanket to dash out the door for the sewer entrance.

 

Buffy turned to go back to the kitchen, and Giles met her with a cup of tea. “Are you two okay?”

 

She raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t think you liked Spike.”

 

“He grows on a person.” Giles’ expression was bemused. “Spike is the man you’re with, however, and you are connected to him for good or ill.”

 

“I hope it’s for good. We had an argument a couple of weeks ago,” Buffy admitted. “We’re still working it out.”

 

“I can only assume that it had something to do with the pregnancy.” It was Giles’ way of gently prying.

 

Buffy sighed. “There’s an issue with social services, and how they might feel about a live-in boyfriend; Spike thought that if we got engaged, it would take care of the problem.”

 

Giles raised an eyebrow. “Well, I can certainly see why you wouldn’t want to get married to Spike.”

 

“I never said that!” Buffy protested. “It’s—it’s too much, Giles. Everything is changing all at once, and with Willow back now, and Dawn exploring this power of hers… It’s like it’s all spinning out of control, and I can’t do anything to stop it.”

 

“I do wish I could make things easier on you, Buffy.”

 

Something in Giles’ voice clued Buffy in that what he had to say, she wasn’t going to like. “What is it, Giles? The coven wanted Willow to come back.” She felt a thrill of fear. “Please don’t tell me that my child is part of some prophecy.”

 

Buffy might not be thrilled with the idea of becoming a mother, but she was very sure that she did not want her kid to have some kind of grand destiny. She wanted her child to have choices.

 

“Not as far as I know,” Giles responded. “I haven’t heard of any prophecy that would pertain to your situation, but the fact remains that once word gets out, there is every possibility that you and the child will become a target.”

 

“I’m always a target, Giles,” Buffy replied bitterly. “There’s nothing new about that.”

 

“You might feel differently when it’s your child being threatened as well,” Giles pointed out. “The coven believes that there may be a serious threat on the horizon, and there is also the matter of Dawn.”

 

“What about Dawn?” Buffy asked, immediately on the defensive. “Do you think I shouldn’t have let her do this, Giles?”

 

Giles shook his head. “No, of course not. Dawn’s skill could save her life, and the lives of others, should she need to get herself or others out of a difficult situation. However, gateways to other dimensions are difficult to create for the most powerful magicians.”

 

Buffy knew what he was getting at immediately. Dawn would no longer be in danger because she was the Slayer’s sister; she would be in danger because she was the Key. “What am I going to do Giles? I can’t have her unlearn this stuff.”

 

“I honestly don’t know,” Giles admitted. “I do think that she shouldn’t go off by herself, at least until you’re certain of her ability.”

 

Buffy nodded. “We’ve been pretty careful about someone being with her, and she isn’t supposed to be opening doorways by herself.”

 

“I think that’s about all you can do,” Giles said. “There certainly isn’t any way to keep Dawn from the rest of the world.”

 

“Not without her killing me,” Buffy agreed.

 

~~~~~

 

“I cleaned out the other room for you,” Xander said. “I know it’s not very big, but—”

 

“It’s better than living with my parents,” Willow said quickly. “This is great, Xander. Thank you.”

 

He shrugged, obviously uncomfortable with her gratitude, but then Xander had always been generous to his friends. “Mi casa is su casa. Anything I can do to help, you know I’m here for you, Will.”

 

“Does Buffy hate me?”

 

Willow could see that her question had disturbed him, probably because honesty held the possibility of causing serious hurt. “She doesn’t hate you,” Xander finally said slowly. “You know how Buffy is; it takes her a while to let stuff go.”

 

Willow nodded. “And Spike?”

 

Xander ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, but if I had to guess, I don’t think Spike cares that you almost got him killed. It’s Dawn he cares about.”

 

That was one person that Willow wasn’t looking forward to seeing—Dawn and Tara, actually. She had hurt both of them horribly, and she knew exactly how they felt about her now, or how they’d felt a few months ago. It wasn’t like she’d given them a reason to change their minds recently.

 

“Maybe you should get some rest,” Xander suggested gently, after the silence had stretched on. “You’re probably pretty jet-lagged. I’ll let you know when Buffy’s up and about.”

 

Willow gave Xander a look. “Do you really think that’s going to be any time today?”

 

“I don’t know,” he replied. “I guess it’ll just depend on how she’s feeling.”

 

Willow went into the tiny bedroom and closed the door behind her. Xander had warned her that it wasn’t much bigger than a closet, and he hadn’t been exaggerating. As she’d told him, it was better than staying with her parents, and Willow hadn’t dared ask Buffy if she could move back in.

 

She had every intention of going back to UC Sunnydale for the spring semester, but Willow hadn’t known how long she would be with the coven, and so she’d already arranged to take the semester off. At the moment, she planned on getting a job to help Xander out with the rent, and then giving Buffy whatever help she would accept.

 

Giles kept telling her that it would take time; Willow just hoped that she not only had the patience to wait it out, but also that she had what it took to deal with whatever emergency the Hellmouth threw at them.

 

Willow had a much harder time believing that she knew what was right, or that she knew what she was doing these days.

 

~~~~~

 

“You know you’re going to have to go home at some point,” Tara said, watching Dawn pretend to read the thick book in front of her. “Giles and Willow arrived two hours ago.”

 

Dawn made a face. “I don’t know what to say to her.”

 

Tara sighed. “It would be good if you could forgive her, Dawn.”

 

“Why?” the girl demanded. “She nearly got Spike killed. Willow almost got _me_ killed. If she hadn’t taken me to Rack’s, he wouldn’t have—” Dawn stopped abruptly.

 

Tara had sensed that Dawn still hadn’t recovered from her ordeal at Rack’s hands, but she hadn’t really seen the depth of her hurt. Dawn’s anger made a lot more sense in that light, given that Rack was dead, and therefore beyond her ability to hurt. Willow, however, was a convenient target, and Dawn wanted to blame someone.

 

In all honesty, Tara couldn’t fault her for it.

 

“You’re right, sweetie,” Tara said gently. “Willow made a terrible mistake, and it will be something that she has to live with for the rest of her life. She knows how you feel about her now; don’t you think that causes her pain?”

 

Dawn slumped down in her chair. “Tara, I don’t know if I can forgive her. I just—I can’t. After what Rack did…”

 

“And if he hadn’t done what he did, you wouldn’t know that you’re still the Key,” Tara pointed out reasonably. “You might be able to save someone’s life someday with that skill, Dawnie. Good could come out of this.”

 

From the expression on Dawn’s face, it was clear that she didn’t want to be reasonable, nor did she want to see the positive in what had undoubtedly been a horrible situation. Tara watched the emotions play across her face, watched as she struggled with her desire to hang on to her anger, and also with her better nature. When Dawn sighed, Tara knew that the battle was half won.

 

“I still don’t know how to forgive her,” Dawn admitted. “I just don’t.”

 

“Give yourself time,” Tara replied. “That’s all you can do.”

 

“Have you forgiven her?” Dawn asked. “You know, for everything she did to you?”

 

Tara sighed. It was a complex question, if only because she still loved Willow. Tara still remembered the girl she had fallen for, the woman who had been the bright spot in her existence. Tara missed the person she had loved.

 

“I’ve forgiven Willow,” Tara said. “Hating her doesn’t do anyone any good, and it only hurts me. But I can’t trust her again, and I’m sorry for that.”

 

Dawn nodded slowly in understanding. “Just because you forgive somebody doesn’t mean you go back to where you started.”

 

“Something like that,” Tara said. “Are you ready to go?”

 

Dawn nodded. “Yeah. I guess so.”

 

~~~~~

 

Anya hadn’t been lying when she said her date had gone well. Henry was a very nice man, and the fact that he was half Brachen demon meant that he didn’t bat an eyelash at the fact that she had been a vengeance demon at one point. The problem was that after the second date, it was becoming obvious that there wasn’t any chemistry between them.

 

Not like there had been with Xander.

 

That was the problem right there; Anya was still in love with Xander. She’d never stopped loving him, and she knew that he still felt the same way about her, even though he was trying to be nice about the fact that she was dating someone else.

 

She probably should have called it off after the second date, but Anya had been determined to give Henry an honest chance, and so she’d gone on a third date, and then a fourth. He had been sweet, and a gentleman, and they’d had some very nice dinners and even nicer conversations. Anya had forgotten how pleasant it could be to hang out with another demon, or someone who wasn’t human anyway.

 

On the fifth date, Henry took her home and walked her to her door. “This isn’t working, is it?” he asked. “I like you, but…”

 

“No chemistry?” Anya asked with a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. “I guess I’m just not ready to date again.”

 

“Same here,” Henry replied.

 

Anya nodded sympathetically; he’d recently been dumped as well, which was probably why Spike had thought they’d hit it off. “Maybe we could go out again, though?” she asked hopefully. “I’ve had a lot of fun.”

 

Henry smiled, his red eyes lighting up. “I’d really like that. The worst part about getting dumped is the loneliness.”

 

“That’s it exactly,” she agreed. “I’ll give you a call.”

 

Henry gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and left. Anya walked into her small apartment; Tara had been a huge help in that department, just as she’d promised. She wasn’t as lonely as she might have been; her job, helping Dawn with her newfound skill, and working with the other Scoobies took up a good part of her time.

 

There was a part of her that would have preferred to cut off all contact with Xander, because seeing him just reminded her how much she missed him.

 

The light on her answering machine was blinking when she got in, and Anya hit the play button. “Hey, Anya, this is Buffy. I just wanted to let you know that we’re having dinner here tomorrow night for everybody, and you’re invited. Don’t worry about having to eat my cooking; Spike and Tara are taking care of it. We’re eating at six, but feel free to come earlier. See you then!”

 

Anya sighed. Xander would be there, of course, as would Willow. On the other hand, Tara could probably use the moral support, and Anya felt obligated to provide it. Tara had been very nice, and Anya wanted to see Giles.

 

She couldn’t help but think about the fact that if Xander hadn’t called off the wedding, they would have been married by now. Anya would have been Mrs. Harris, and they would have been snug in their own little apartment, working out what being married meant.

 

Maybe they hadn’t been ready, but Anya would have liked to try.


	6. Lessons

**“I can feel the night beginning/Separate me from the living/Understanding me,/After all I’ve seen./Piecing every thought together,/Find the words to make me better./If I only knew how to pull myself apart…I believe that dreams are sacred./Take my darkest fears and play them/Like a lullaby,/Like a reason why,/Like a play of my obsessions,/Make me understand the lesson,/So I’ll find myself,/So I won’t be lost again./All that I’m living for/All that I’m dying for/All that I can’t ignore alone at night./All that I’m wanted for,/Although I wanted more./Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.” ~Evanescence, “All That I’m Living For”**

 

Spike came home to find Buffy waiting for him. “Thought you were going to see Willow tonight,” he commented. “I’d have picked you up.”

 

“We’re going to wait until tomorrow night, when we can all have dinner together. I hope you don’t mind, but I volunteered you and Tara for cooking duty.”

 

Spike shook his head in mock annoyance. “I never should have learned to cook. I knew you’d end up using me for my cooking skills.”

 

“One of us needs to be able to not burn things,” Buffy pointed out with a smile.

 

He raised an eyebrow, but bent to kiss her where she lounged on the couch. “You avoiding Willow, pet, or are you really not feeling well? We can save this for another night if you’re not up to it.”

 

Buffy shook her head adamantly. “No, I want to do this, and I am avoiding Willow. I know I shouldn’t, but…”

 

Spike just shrugged. Since he wasn’t feeling terribly friendly towards the girl, he wasn’t one to be blaming Buffy for her reticence in seeing her.

 

“What were you up to tonight?” she asked.

 

“Had to see Clem,” Spike replied. “Told him I’d give him a hand with a sofa.” He settled in on the couch next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. “You want to start?”

 

“Giles thinks our child is going to be a target,” Buffy informed him. “I guess the coven was worried enough to send Willow back slightly ahead of schedule.”

 

Spike didn’t like the sound of that, although he wasn’t surprised. “Figured as much. What about Dawn?”

 

“Pretty much the same thing, but he agreed we should keeping her close and making sure someone is with her at all times,” Buffy replied. “There isn’t much more we can do without causing her to go crazy from being watched all the time.”

 

He nodded. “Reckon she likes the attention enough at this point, but you know next time she gets asked out with friends we’re going to have to figure something out.”

 

Buffy sighed. “Yeah, I know. Maybe we could get a tracer put on her or something.”

 

Spike chuckled. “You gonna tell her about that tracer?”

 

“Sometimes it’s easier to just apologize for it after the fact.”

 

They sat in almost comfortable silence for a few minutes, until Spike spoke up. “So, you wanted to talk?”

 

He felt her sigh. “Yeah, but just sitting here is really nice.”

 

They both had quick tempers, and Spike knew they were both likely to leap to the wrong conclusions. “Tell you what, pet. You can just talk, and I’ll promise not to get mad, if you’ll do the same.”

 

“Okay.” There was a long pause, and Spike began to think that she wasn’t going to say anything after all; he certainly wasn’t going to force her to tell him what was going through that pretty little head of hers. Buffy got very irritated when he pressed her. “It’s not that I don’t want you to move in, or that I don’t want to get married to _you_. This whole thing just kind of freaked me out.”

 

Spike had to bite back a smirk. “I’m scared too, luv.”

 

“I thought you were happy about this.”

 

“Sure I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared.” Spike hesitated, adding, “Maybe it’s not as bad for me because I knew I was going to be with you forever. The fact that you’re pregnant doesn’t change anything for me.”

 

Buffy turned, her expression impatient. “I didn’t have any plans to find a different boyfriend, Spike.”

 

“Not wanting anyone else, and suddenly being presented with the idea that you’re actually stuck with someone are two completely different things,” Spike replied. “Besides, I know this puts one more burden on you, Buffy.”

 

Buffy shook her head. “It shouldn’t be a burden.”

 

“Doesn’t mean it’s not.”

 

She leaned back against him again. “I think it’s a good idea for you to move in.”

 

“What about the social workers?”

 

“I’ll talk to them about it,” Buffy said. “Dawn’s doing really well in school this year, and she’s old enough that they might not care as much as long as she’s doing okay.”

 

Spike noticed that she didn’t say anything about telling them that he was her fiancé. “Might make sense for me to move in anyway, if you’re pregnant. It wouldn’t just be about living in sin then.”

 

“If you still wanted to, I wouldn’t mind it.”

 

“Moving in?” Spike asked, not quite sure what Buffy was referring to. “Yeah, you know I’ll do whatever I can to help, Buffy.”

 

“No, not that,” she replied quickly. “Or, that too, but you know. Telling them we’re getting married.”

 

Spike shifted so he could see her expression. “You want to tell them we’re getting married?”

 

“Only if we’re actually going to do it at some point,” Buffy said. “I don’t want to lie about something like that.”

 

Spike blinked, feeling as though she’d just pulled the rug out from under him once again. He had no idea where this was coming from, not after she’d seemed to be so adamantly against it the other night. “Is this what you want?”

 

“I don’t know what I want right now, Spike,” she said honestly. “What I do know is that I don’t want to be with anyone else, and that isn’t going to change. I love you.”

 

He could read the truth in her eyes, and it was such a gift. There were still days that Spike could hardly believe that this was his life—that Buffy was his, and he was hers, in every way that mattered. “Could get a ring,” he suggested. “We wouldn’t have to set a date. We could just enjoy being engaged for awhile.”

 

Buffy nodded. “That sounds perfect.”

 

He kissed her then, reveling in her warmth, in the feeling of her fingers threaded through his hair and clenched in his shirt. Spike didn’t mind change, as long as he still had Buffy.

 

~~~~~

 

“Taste,” Spike said, holding out a spoon.

 

Dawn leaned in and tasted the sauce obediently, nodding enthusiastically. “That’s perfect.”

 

After the first time that Tara put Spike in charge of the spaghetti sauce, when he added too much red pepper, Dawn had become his taster. As Spike had pointed out when they’d complained, he liked things spicy, and he didn’t know how much was too much for the rest of them.

 

“Good,” he said, reaching down to pick up Merlin, who had draped himself across Spike’s boot. “And let’s get this fur ball something to eat as well.”

 

Dawn smirked. Spike acted as though he didn’t like the kitten, but she knew better. While Merlin adored Tara and would happily drape himself across her lap whenever he had the opportunity, Spike was his favorite alternative. “So how come you’re the one cooking tonight?”

 

“Tara worked all day,” Spike replied. “It’s only fair that she get off her feet for a bit. How are the lessons coming?”

 

Dawn shrugged. “Good. I’ve opened a couple more portals, but I haven’t actually gone anywhere, you know? Tara thought it might be possible for me to open a door somewhere else, like in L.A. or something, but we haven’t tried it yet.”

 

He nodded. “Long as there’s someone with you when you do.”

 

“I know _that_ ,” Dawn replied, tired of the repeated warnings.

 

She was a little surprised by the look Spike gave her—serious and somehow sad. “We worry about you, Bit. You know it’d gut us if anything happened to you.”

 

Dawn was quiet, feeling a warm glow as she watched Spike pour a saucer of milk for Merlin. “I know,” she finally said. “And I’m not going to do something stupid, Spike. I think I’ve grown out of that.”

 

“You never grow out of it completely,” Spike replied with a smile. “But it’s good to know that you’re going to be responsible about this.”

 

“What are you going to do about Willow?” Dawn asked.

 

He raised an eyebrow and checked on the pasta. “What do you mean?”

 

“Are you still mad at her?”

 

“Reckon I am a bit,” he replied.

 

“Because of the curse?”

 

“No, because of Rack. The curse didn’t hurt me, just annoyed the hell out of me for a couple of days.” Spike turned to look at her, apparently satisfied with dinner’s progress. “Why do you ask?”

 

Dawn shrugged. “No reason. It’s just that I was talking to Tara about it yesterday. I didn’t know if I wanted her to come back.”

 

“And now that she’s here?” Spike asked.

 

Dawn shook her head. “I guess that will depend on what she does.”

 

Their eyes met, and Dawn knew that Spike not only understood, but that he felt the same way. It was one of the reasons that she loved him so much; Spike understood her.

 

Dawn heard a perfunctory knock on the door, and then Xander called out, “Is anyone home?”

 

“Come in, Xander,” Dawn heard Buffy say. There was a long pause, and then she said, “Hey, Willow.”

 

Dawn glanced at Spike, and he nodded for her to go. She could see her sister and Willow hugging in the hallway, and Dawn knew that Buffy had at least made progress in coming to terms with what Willow had done.

 

“Hey, Dawn,” Xander said, throwing a friendly arm across her shoulders. “How’s it going?”

 

She grinned up at him. “Good.”

 

Xander was a lot more fun now that he wasn’t drinking—or moping—quite as much. Dawn had helped him work on the basement a couple of times, and he’d been very patient, teaching her which tool was which and what each was used for.

 

“When are we eating?” he asked. “Because I’m hungry.”

 

Dawn shrugged. “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Spike.”

 

“Spike’s cooking?” Xander asked in mock-alarm. “I’d better go make sure he’s not burning down the kitchen.”

 

Dawn knew immediately that he was extricating himself from any impending awkwardness, since Tara was standing in the doorway of the living room, and Willow was looking at her with ill-disguised longing. “Hey,” Willow said quietly.

 

“Hi, Willow,” Tara replied. She immediately looked away, finding Dawn’s eyes. “How is Spike doing?”

 

Dawn offered her the escape she seemed to want. “He could probably use your help,” she lied.

 

Tara nodded. “I should go check on dinner.”

 

Willow looked at Dawn next. “Hi, Dawnie.”

 

For a moment, Dawn gave serious consideration to ignoring Willow’s greeting completely, or at least offering her only a chilly hello. She could see the pain in the woman’s eyes, the longing and uncertainty, and Dawn understood that it was probably just as hard for Willow to be back in Sunnydale as it was for them to have her there.

 

“Hey, Willow,” Dawn said, giving her a smile. “It’s good to have you back.”

 

Amazingly enough, it was the truth, even if it was only for old time’s sake.

 

~~~~~

 

As badly as the dinner might have gone, Giles was pleasantly surprised at how well it _did_ go. He also noted that Spike and Buffy seemed much more comfortable with one another, which meant that whatever tension remained was due to Willow’s presence.

 

Tara had arranged the seating so that she was at the opposite end of the table from her ex-girlfriend, and Giles wondered how Willow would deal with Tara’s obvious reluctance to be in her presence. It was going to be a difficult transition for both of them, considering that they had the same group of friends.

 

Still, everyone seemed to be doing their best to ignore the awkwardness that lingered between Xander and Anya, and Willow and Tara. It probably helped that there were more pressing issues to discuss, such as Dawn’s progress with opening gateways and Buffy’s pregnancy.

 

Even there, however, Giles could tell that Willow was trying to ignore the hurt Buffy had caused by not telling her the news earlier.

 

Once dinner was over, Giles stood with Tara and began to help her clear the table. “Do you need any help?” Willow asked, sounding hopeful.

 

Tara shook her head. “It’s okay. It won’t take me very long to clean up.”

 

He followed her into the kitchen, watching her with concern. “How are you, Tara? I haven’t had a chance to speak with you since I got back into Sunnydale.”

 

“I’m okay,” she answered truthfully. “It’s hard, but I knew it was going to be difficult.”

 

Giles nodded. “I do believe she’s changed.”

 

Tara shook her head. “It’s not that.”

 

“I see.” Giles thought that he did. He remembered watching Jenny Calendar, still loving her, and yet blaming her for Angelus’ appearance. He also remembered refusing any idea of a relationship with her until it was nearly too late—and then it was too late. “If you still love her, Tara—”

 

“I don’t.” Tara’s eyes were full of pain. “I don’t—I can’t feel that way about her anymore. I hadn’t even realized until I saw her tonight.”

 

“It’s a different kind of loss,” Giles acknowledged.

 

Tara nodded. “I think Willow still feels the same way about me.”

 

“I know,” Giles replied, affirming her guess.

 

Tara turned back to the dishes. “I’ll start washing if you want to finish clearing the table,” she suggested.

 

Giles nodded and turned to go back into the dining room, seeing Willow standing in the doorway with a stricken expression on her face. She fled immediately, and Giles knew that Tara hadn’t seen her standing there.

 

He shook his head. It was never easy to return home.

 

~~~~~

 

Ray shifted nervously. He didn’t like magicians as a general rule; although he’d done a few things for Rack, the guy had always creeped him out. There had been a few other witches and magicians in Sunnydale, and all of them were the same.

 

He kept wondering what he was getting himself into. It had only been sheer luck on his part that the Slayer and her pet vampire hadn’t found out about his role in kidnapping the kid. By participating in the Koral demon’s scheme, Ray knew that he was tempting fate.

 

The money was good, though, and the Koral’s teeth made it difficult to say no, which explained why he was sitting at a table at a demon bar in L.A., waiting for their buyer to join them. Supposedly, this demon needed big mojo to do whatever it was he did, and the Slayer’s kid sis might be the missing ingredient he needed.

 

Whatever the demon wanted with the girl, he wanted it badly, because he was paying big bucks for their information.

 

The demon, a hulking monster with a jutting chin and tusks curving up over his top lip, sat down at their table with a menacing grin. “What’s this I hear about a human form of energy?”

 

“He says he did a favor for Rack,” the Koral demon said, jerking his head in Ray’s direction.

 

Ray wanted to slide under the table when the demon turned his head to look at him. His narrow red eyes glowed with an unholy fire, and Ray began to think that he probably should have kept his mouth shut from the beginning.

 

“What do you know, human?” the demon growled.

 

“It’s the Slayer’s little sister,” Ray said, finding his voice. “Rack wanted her because he said she was pure energy in human form.”

 

The demon grinned broadly, but the sight was far from reassuring. “You’re going to tell me everything you know about this child. If I like what I hear, I may not kill you.”

 

Ray _knew_ he should have kept his mouth shut.

 

~~~~~

 

Willow had found it easier than expected to find a job. Sunnydale Elementary needed a long-term substitute computer science teacher, and they were happy to have her. She’d enjoyed stepping in for Miss Calendar during her junior year of high school, and at the time, Willow had thought that she might like teaching. There was something soothing about being around the children, most of whom seemed to look up to her as someone very cool.

 

Willow had never really been cool; even after she’d discovered magic, her power had merely been an illusion. She had believed herself to be in control, even when she’d been losing everything that had ever mattered in her life.

 

Being back in Sunnydale, her losses were that much more evident.

 

She had to admit that she’d half-hoped that Tara would see the changes she’d made, that there was still a chance for them to be together again. Hearing Tara say that she was no longer in love with her had hurt more than Willow could say. It was worse than seeing the lingering distrust in Dawn’s eyes, worse than seeing the hesitation on Buffy’s face. Xander was the only one who still acted the same way around her, but that was only because Willow hadn’t done him any harm.

 

She finished cleaning up the computer lab, and put the finishing touches on her lesson plan for the next day. Willow thought that she might change her major to education, even though it meant staying in school longer than she’d planned. Her mother would probably be disappointed if she didn’t pursue a doctorate, but teaching was a respectable profession. There was a longstanding tradition of teaching in the Rosenberg family.

 

She wouldn’t have to stay in Sunnydale, of course, but the option was there. Maybe if things worked out, if she could repair at least a little of the damage she’d done, she could stay. Otherwise, there would be other places, and a teaching degree was a useful thing to have.

 

Willow thought about going back to Xander’s, but abruptly changed her mind, hoping that she would find Buffy at home. She felt like they needed to talk—like she needed to apologize one more time, to try and get across how sorry she was, and how she knew she’d messed up.

 

Somehow, Willow wasn’t expecting Spike to open the door. “Uh, hi,” she said, gulping. He hadn’t been very friendly the other night, although he hadn’t been rude either. More than anything else, Spike had ignored her presence; Willow didn’t blame him, after what she’d done.

 

“Buffy’s not here,” he said, without waiting for her to ask. “She’s out with Dawn, and I don’t know when they’ll be back.”

 

Willow blinked. “Okay. Can—can I talk to you?”

 

Spike looked taken aback, but he reluctantly stepped aside to allow her entrance. “Rupert’s at the Magic Box,” he added, as though she wanted Giles.

 

Willow was just as glad that they had the house to themselves for what she wanted; she’d much rather this conversation take place in private. “I wanted to apologize to you,” she began. “I—I didn’t get the chance before.”

 

Spike shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “You don’t have to do that.”

 

“Yes, I do,” she said firmly. “It was none of my business. I was angry and upset about things that I couldn’t control, and I targeted you. I was wrong.”

 

Those last three words were the hardest words she’d ever had to say, harder than “I’m sorry.” You could be sorry for what you’d done without admitting fault, Willow had learned, and it had taken weeks for the coven to break through her carefully constructed vision of herself as always being right.

 

Spike stared at her, the astonishment on his face almost worth the effort it had taken. His face softened, and he nodded slowly. “It’s okay,” he said. “Didn’t figure anyone would think I’m all that good for Buffy.”

 

“You have been, though,” Willow replied. “She’s happier now than she’s been in a long time.”

 

That brought a real smile to his face. “We’re getting there. You want something to drink?” he asked. “I’ve got tea.”

 

“That would be good,” Willow said tentatively. “If you’re not busy.”

 

“Daylight,” Spike said, gesturing in the general direction of outside. “I was just going to watch the _Passions_ episode I taped.”

 

Willow smiled. “I’ll join you, if you don’t mind.”

 

It felt like a pretty good beginning.


	7. Through the Grapevine

**“The dawn and all its majesty is taking me away/The dawn and all its honesty is turning me to play/Through the bars of iron rings/Way beyond the bad things/I hear the voice of Eden cry/Lift me up and walking on high/This real love/Real love/The world in all its clarity—it’s glorious, it’s fake/This world in all its vanity is more than I can take/Down the road, the iron wheels/Chain my heart to how it feels/I hear the voice of Eden cry/Lift me up and walking on high/This real love/Real love…” ~David Gray, “Real Love”**

 

Anya handed Giles another pile of receipts. “As you can see, we’re doing a brisk business in herbs and candles, but the artifacts are moving slower than I’d like. I think we might need to cut prices.”

 

“You know best,” Giles replied. “If you think that’s what needs to be done, I’m not going to disagree.”

 

Anya smiled, appreciating his trust in her managerial abilities. “I also think we might want to hire someone else,” she said. “Unless you’re thinking of coming back.”

 

Giles hesitated. “I’m not sure,” he admitted. “With the new developments, I’m considering it.” He grimaced. “Buffy may need the extra support. I’ll have to see how things go in Bath when I get back.”

 

Anya nodded. “I think we can hold off for a few months. Running the shop with one person doesn’t always work, though.”

 

“If you need to hire someone, perhaps you should do so on a temporary basis,” Giles suggested. “It will be a few months before I can make the transition, if that’s what I decide to do.”

 

“That might work,” she agreed.

 

He gave her a concerned look. “How are you, Anya? We haven’t had much time to talk. I don’t think I complimented on you on your quick thinking last spring.”

 

Anya shrugged, feeling a warm glow of pleasure at his words. “I didn’t do all that much.”

 

“I’d heard you were dating again,” Giles said.

 

Anya shook her head. “Henry and I went out a few times, but we’re just friends. There’s no chemistry there, and I still have feelings for Xander.”

 

“I see,” Giles said noncommittally.

 

She took that as encouragement and continued, “I just don’t know what to do. I mean, we had a relationship, and we were moving to the next level when he called it off. Even if we got back together, where could it go?”

 

“It might go somewhere you don’t expect,” Giles replied. “The risk might be worth it.” She could see him hesitate. “There was a woman that I loved very much who lied to me. I didn’t think I could be in a relationship with her after that. By the time I decided that it would be worth the risk, it was too late.”

 

“You’re saying not to let it get to be too late?” Anya asked. “I don’t even know if that’s what I want.”

 

Giles nodded. “I understand.”

 

Anya shook her head, not wanting to discuss it anymore. She didn’t know what she wanted to do about Xander. Talking about it just caused her to be upset and confused, bringing back all the emotions she’d felt when he’d first broken it off with her. “We’re going to have to start ordering more eye of newt,” she said. “Every amateur magician comes in here looking for it, and we nearly ran out last week.”

 

“We can do that,” Giles responded. “I’ll check with the supplier to see if he can increase the shipment.”

 

Anya gave an inward sigh of relief. Numbers and shipments, goods and services were things that she instinctively understood; love and all its complexities were much harder to grasp, and shoptalk was a welcome escape from all of that.

 

~~~~~

 

Giles had had a very nice time in Sunnydale, but it was good to be back in England, where fall was settling in as expected. He appreciated the changing seasons after living in southern California, where the weather seemed to be consistently sunny and very rarely cold. Seasons, as he knew them, didn’t appear to exist.

 

No one had gone out of their way to make Willow feel uncomfortable or unwanted, and Giles had every hope that she would settle in eventually. Buffy seemed to be a little happier about the situation as well; he’d spoken with Audra several times while he was away, but the coven hadn’t been able to tell him anything new.

 

He was a little surprised to find a message from Quentin Travers waiting for him when he got back to his flat in Bath. “Rupert, I’d like you to call me immediately. I need to talk to you regarding your Slayer.”

 

Giles frowned, then decided that Quentin could wait at least until he got unpacked. After an hour, and a cup of tea to fortify him, Giles picked up the phone to return the call. “Quentin Travers, please,” Giles said when the secretary answered. “It’s Rupert Giles returning his call.”

 

Travers answered immediately, which Giles found interesting. Usually the head of the Council made it a point to keep him waiting. “How can I help you, Quentin?”

 

“I’d like to know if the rumors regarding your Slayer are true,” Travers replied without preamble.

 

Giles didn’t like the sound of that. “What sort of rumors?” he asked. “I’m afraid I’m not familiar with the most recent gossip.”

 

“She’s pregnant by a vampire?” Quentin prompted, impatience coloring his tone. “Have you known about this for a while?”

 

It didn’t seem possible to lie; Travers was obviously aware of what was going on, as well as the fact that Giles had known for some time now. “She does have a name,” Giles said, not answering directly. “And I thought it was Buffy’s business, not the Council’s.”

 

“She still works for us,” Travers replied icily. “Is it true?” he pressed. “William the Bloody is the father?”

 

“Spike is the father, yes,” Giles confirmed. “And I believe her death terminated her contract. The only reason that Buffy is still acting as the Slayer is because Faith is in prison, and she believes it’s her duty.”

 

“And it’s her duty to sleep with a vampire?” Travers asked sharply. “I had known that she was working with William the Bloody, but you said nothing about her being in a relationship with him.”

 

“I didn’t think it was your business,” Giles repeated. “What’s this about, Quentin? All preliminary reports indicate that this is a normal pregnancy.”

 

“How can it be a _normal_ pregnancy?” Quentin demanded, his tone dripping with disdain. “The father is a demon. I hope you’ve encouraged her to end it.”

 

“That’s her choice,” Giles said, beginning to feel some alarm. He hadn’t thought about what the Council might do when they found out; Buffy was largely cut off from them, and had been ever since her death. They hadn’t even appeared to be that interested in her resurrection. “I’ve offered my support, whatever she might decide to do.”

 

“Then she hasn’t decided on a course of action?” Quentin asked.

 

“I’m not sure,” Giles replied, playing dumb. “You would have to ask her.”

 

“I’ll do just that,” Quentin replied. “And you can consider yourself on administrative leave beginning now. This is information that is vital to the functioning of the Council. I had thought that your loyalties lay with us, Rupert.”

 

“My loyalties lie with my Slayer,” Giles responded, “as they always have.”

 

The click of the phone told Giles everything he needed to know, and he glanced at the clock, mentally doing the math. It would be early morning in Sunnydale, but he didn’t think he could afford to wait to call. With any luck, he’d catch someone awake, even if it was Spike.

 

“Hello?” Buffy’s sleepy voice greeted him, and Giles knew he’d woken her up.

 

“Buffy, it’s Giles. I’m sorry to wake you, but it’s an emergency.”

 

“What’s up?” She was immediately alert, and he gave thanks that Buffy was as dedicated and experienced a Slayer as she was.

 

He hesitated, unsure of how best to word his concerns. “I just got off the phone with Quentin Travers,” Giles began. “I don’t know how he found out, but he knows you’re pregnant and that Spike is the father. I wouldn’t be surprised if he calls you.”

 

“How much is that conversation going to suck?” Buffy asked wryly.

 

Giles sighed. “I think he’s going to encourage you to have an abortion.”

 

“He can’t make that decision,” Buffy said coldly. “He’d do well not to say anything at all.”

 

“I agree,” Giles replied. “That doesn’t mean that he won’t try, however. Quentin hasn’t always been ruled by his best judgment where you’re concerned.”

 

“No kidding,” Buffy agreed. “Okay, thanks for the warning, Giles. We’ll be on the lookout for trouble.”

 

Giles gave a relieved sigh. “Good. Again, I’m sorry to wake you, but—”

 

“Better safe than sorry, especially where the Council’s concerned,” Buffy finished for him. “I’ll let the others know, too.”

 

“Take care, Buffy,” Giles said.

 

“You too, Giles,” Buffy replied. “And don’t be a stranger, huh?”

 

Giles hung up the phone, only then murmuring, “I might be back sooner than expected.”

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy had gone back to sleep as soon as she’d hung up the phone, telling a sleepy Spike not to worry about it and she’d talk to him in the morning. Whatever the Council had planned wasn’t likely to happen right then, and they’d put in a full night’s patrol. The graveyards had been hopping the last couple of days, and she and Spike had spent the evening looking for the vampires responsible.

 

They hadn’t had much luck, but they had dusted more than a few vampires and killed a couple of demons that had been up to no good. All in all, it had been a very nice night, finished off as it had been with multiple orgasms.

 

Spike never ceased to satisfy her.

 

Exhausted as she’d been, Buffy had no trouble going right back to sleep. She didn’t even stir until she smelled breakfast right under her nose. “You hungry, luv?” Spike’s rough baritone followed the scent of eggs, coffee, and toast.

 

“I am now,” Buffy replied, sitting up slowly. “What’s this?”

 

“Figure I’d better start feeding you right, yeah?” Spike said. “Since I’m the one who can cook in this relationship.”

 

Buffy tugged his head down for a kiss. “You’re the best.”

 

“And don’t you forget it,” he replied, settling the tray and joining her on the bed. “So, what was that call about last night? Thought Rupert would wait at least until he got unpacked to give us a ring.”

 

“He got a call from Quentin Travers,” Buffy replied, making a face at the name. She really didn’t like the head of the Council. He annoyed the hell out of her. “Apparently he has a problem with me being pregnant.”

 

Spike scowled. “It’s none of his damn business.”

 

“That’s what I said, and I’m sure Giles did too.” Buffy dug into her breakfast with relish. “He said to be on the lookout, that Travers would probably call me.” She snorted. “As if that’s going to do him any good. He should know me better by now.”

 

“You’d think so,” Spike agreed. “What are the plans for today?”

 

“We have our next doctor’s appointment, remember?” Buffy asked.

 

He winced. “No, but I do now. Sorry, luv.”

 

“You didn’t make other plans, did you?”

 

Spike shook his head. “No, ‘course not. Just didn’t remember it was today, that’s all. I can get there through the sewers, so I’ll have to meet you there.”

 

“That’s fine. I need to do some shopping beforehand anyway.” Buffy finished off her breakfast, taking another sip of coffee.

 

“Who’s staying with Dawn today?” Spike asked.

 

“She’s supposed to be going over to the Magic Box right after school,” Buffy said. “Anya will be there, and I think Tara said she was going to be there after her lab.”

 

“Should be safe enough then,” Spike said. “Though I’d feel better if someone was escorting her.”

 

Buffy grimaced. “I know, but Dawn’s annoyed enough as it is, and there isn’t anyone available today.”

 

Spike nodded slowly. “Yeah, suppose so. Wish I didn’t have to worry about the sunlight.”

 

“I wish you didn’t either, but it’s okay, Spike, really.” Buffy squeezed his hand. “We’ll work around it, just like we always do.”

 

They’d been making it work for a while now.

 

~~~~~

 

Dawn recognized him as soon as she saw him; there was no way she was ever going to forget the faces of the two guys who had grabbed her and taken her to Rack.

 

He was walking on the other side of the street, his pace matching hers as she walked to the Magic Box. Dawn wished that she’d had a friend to walk with her, but there really wasn’t anyone who would keep her company. Although she had school friends, Dawn had a difficult time feeling close to anyone, given what her daily life usually entailed. She was the girl with the strange sister, whose mother had died; even without the supernatural aspects of being the Key, that would have been enough to set her apart. So, while she might be able to find people to sit with at lunch time, after-school activities were out.

 

She clutched the strap of her pack, slung across one shoulder, and increased her pace, fighting off the fear that threatened when the man showed no sign of slowing. The Magic Box was at least six blocks away, and she had to pass through a fairly uninhabited area to get there.

 

Dawn wondered if she should make a run for it, or if she should continue on, as though she didn’t know he was right there.

 

“Hey, Dawnie, wait up!”

 

Dawn froze with relief, so grateful to hear Willow’s voice that she forgot to be angry with her for a moment, and even then, her lingering unease was completely overshadowed by the gladness to have someone she knew there with her. “Willow!” Dawn said, turning to grab the woman’s arm. “Where did you come from?”

 

“I was at school,” Willow replied. “It’s just a couple of blocks away, and I was headed to the Magic Box.” Her eyes narrowed with concern. “What’s wrong?”

 

Dawn looked across the street, and Willow followed her gaze. Her stalker was standing there with what could only be described as dismay on his face. “He was following me,” Dawn explained, as the man abruptly whirled and ducked down a side street. “He’s one of the guys that Rack got to grab me.”

 

She could feel the tension in Willow’s frame, and the witch nodded, her frown of concentration reassuring for some reason. “I’ve got him now,” Willow said, without explaining what exactly she meant by that. “Let’s head over to the store.”

 

Dawn stuck close to Willow’s side, struck by the idea that she felt safe with Willow—safer than she had walking by herself, with the unknown threat on the other side of the street. “What are you going to do?” Dawn asked, once they’d gone a couple of blocks.

 

“Nothing right now,” Willow replied. “We’ll have to talk to Buffy first, but I’ll know him if I ever see him again, and I might be able to—do something.”

 

Dawn frowned. “Do what?”

 

Willow shrugged. “I’m not sure; I’ll have to look into it. But I might be able to make it so that he can’t recognize you anymore, if I could get close enough to him. Something like that anyway.”

 

Dawn felt a small sense of alarm, knowing how many spells Willow had screwed up in the past. “Oh, okay.”

 

Willow shook her head. “I won’t do anything without talking to Buffy, I promise, Dawn. I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

 

“I know, Willow,” Dawn said. “It’s okay, it’s just—well, _tabula rasa_?”

 

Willow winced that that. “I’m not going to let that happen again.”

 

Dawn felt Willow tense once again, although for a slightly different reason, when they entered the shop. Anya was in there, as always, but so was Tara, and things were still very strained between the two of them.

 

It was almost like watching someone decide to act a part in a play, because Willow sounded determinedly cheerful when she said, “Hey, guys. How’s business today?”

 

“It’s been going very well, thank you,” Anya said politely. She always seemed to respond well when you asked about capitalistic things. “How are you?” Anya gave Dawn a sharp look. “You look pale,” she observed. “Are you feeling okay?”

 

“There was a guy following me,” Dawn admitted, looking at Tara, who had often offered comfort. “It was one of the guys who worked for Rack.”

 

Tara stood immediately to hug her. “Are you okay?”

 

“When Willow showed up, that seemed to scare him off,” Dawn replied, glancing over at the other woman gratefully. “Thanks.”

 

Willow shrugged. “I was just in the right place at the right time. I’m glad I could help.”

 

“I think we should tell Buffy,” Tara said. “And Spike.” She offered Dawn an apologetic look. “I don’t think they’re going to be allowing you to walk home by yourself.”

 

“I can walk her,” Willow said. “If you don’t mind waiting at the school until I’m done for the day,” she added.

 

Dawn shook her head. “I can do homework in the library, I guess.” She sighed. “This really sucks.”

 

“I know it does,” Tara said, giving her another hug.

 

“I’ll call Buffy,” Anya announced.

 

Dawn made a face. “Spike’s going to make a fuss.”

 

“Spike’s going to want to turn Sunnydale upside down,” Tara corrected her. “Let’s just hope that Buffy can hold him back.”

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy sat in the doctor’s office waiting room, glancing at the clock and watching the time tick by slowly. Spike was supposed to be there by now. She looked at the windows; the blinds weren’t doing much to keep the sunlight out, and she hoped that Spike didn’t get singed on his way in.

 

The door to the office opened, and Spike slipped inside, just as the nurse called her name to come back. It was good timing on his part, since he didn’t have to sit in the sunny waiting room. “Where have you been?” Buffy hissed, as he slipped an arm around her waist.

 

“Had to see a guy,” Spike replied vaguely. “I’m on time, aren’t I?”

 

“Technically, you’re fifteen minutes late,” she replied. “Seriously, Spike, what kept you?”

 

“Later,” he muttered, as the nurse ushered them into one of the exam rooms and began to take Buffy’s vitals.

 

Her ultrasound went well; although they wouldn’t know the sex for a while, it was exciting to see the gray blob that the doctor assured them was an actual baby. “Still doesn’t look like a kid,” Spike observed.

 

“It’s going to take time,” the doctor replied with a laugh. She handed Buffy a towel. “Everything looks good. I’ll see you both for your next appointment.”

 

As soon as she’d left the room, Buffy turned to look at Spike. “Okay, mister. Spill.”

 

He hesitated, then his chin got that stubborn set that infuriated her so much. Okay, it also caused her to want to jump his bones right there. “It’s a surprise,” Spike insisted.

 

Buffy searched his face. “Good or bad?”

 

“Good, I hope.” Spike took the towel and tenderly wiped her abdomen free of the gel. “How are you feeling today?”

 

“Okay,” Buffy replied. “Better, now that you’re here.”

 

Spike smirked. “You’re not going soft on me, are you, Summers?”

 

“Might be.” Buffy pulled his head down for a kiss, intent upon wiping that expression off his face, and willing to take the alone time any time and anywhere they could get it. She had a feeling that there wouldn’t be many opportunities in the future.

 

She didn’t know how right she was.


	8. Pressure

**“You found me/When no one else was looking/How did you know just where I would be?/Yeah, you broke through/All of my confusion/The ups and the downs/And you still didn’t leave/I guess that you saw what nobody could see/You found me/So, here we are/That’s pretty far/When you think of where we’ve been/No going back/I’m fading out/All that has faded me within/You’re by my side/Now everything’s fine/I can’t believe/You found me…” ~Kelly Clarkson, “You Found Me”**

 

Spike knew that the relative peace of the afternoon couldn’t last; it wasn’t Murphy’s Law that reigned on the Hellmouth but some other unwritten rule of the universe that said anytime he and Buffy shared a nice moment, all hell broke loose.

 

Since it was still sunny outside, he’d opted for taking the sewers to the Magic Box. Buffy wanted to do some research, and he had promised to help; while researching wasn’t his cup of tea, he liked spending time with his girls—Buffy, Dawn, and Tara. Even Anya was fun to be around.

 

When he walked into the shop, it more resembled a strategy session than anything else, and Spike could immediately sense that something was wrong. “What’s going on?”

 

“Dawn was followed home by one of the guys that grabbed her,” Buffy said. “Willow showed up in time to discourage him from doing anything.”

 

Spike snarled. “Do we know who he’s working for?”

 

Buffy shook her head. “No, but we’re going to find out.” She turned to Tara. “Will you stay tonight? I think Spike and I are going to be out pretty late tracking this bastard.”

 

“Of course, Buffy,” Tara immediately agreed.

 

Anya chimed in, “I don’t mind staying either.”

 

“Thanks, guys,” Buffy said.

 

Willow hesitated before suggesting, “I can help track him. I got a good look at him earlier.”

 

Buffy nodded. “That would be good. I don’t want to get the wrong guy.” She gave Dawn an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Dawnie, but—”

 

“We already talked about it,” Dawn said glumly. “Willow’s going to pick me up after school, and I promise I won’t go anywhere by myself.”

 

“Good.” Buffy grimaced. “It’s only until we figure out what this guy wants and stop him.”

 

Dawn shrugged. “I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t really have a social life to lose anyway.”

 

“Doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with your friends, Bit,” Spike said. “Just means you won’t be walking by yourself to get there. As long as you’re with _someone_ , I think you’ll be alright.”

 

Buffy was quick to agree. “As long as you aren’t alone, I think you’ll be fine.”

 

“You have homework, Nibblet?” Spike asked.

 

She shrugged. “Some Spanish, but that’s it.”

 

“Why don’t we go over it here while we’re waiting for the sun to go down?” Spike suggested.

 

He sat down with the girl, listening as Buffy held a muted conference with Tara, Anya, and Willow. While they did discuss what someone—or something—might want with Dawn, the topic of conversation soon turned to Buffy’s earlier doctor’s appointment. “How did it go?” Willow asked.

 

“Good,” Buffy replied. “Everything seems normal.”

 

“There’s no sign that the baby isn’t completely human?” Anya asked. “Because that would be interesting.”

 

“That’s the kind of interesting I don’t need,” Buffy replied. “But no, there’s no sign that it’s not 100% human.”

 

Tara spoke up. “It wouldn’t matter anyway. Even if it’s not fully human, that doesn’t mean the baby would be evil.”

 

Spike could hear the dubious nature of her tone. “Even if there was something wrong, that wouldn’t change anything. I’m still its mother, and Spike is still the father.”

 

Spike was forced to pull his attention away from their conversation when Dawn asked him a question about how to conjugate a verb into the imperative. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that the child might not be fully human; after all, Buffy was human, and she was carrying the child.

 

Buffy was also the Slayer, and he was a vampire, though, which seemed to indicate that there was at least the possibility that their baby could be—special.

 

Not that it would change anything for him, but Spike wondered how Buffy would deal with it if they discovered differently.

 

~~~~~

 

Dawn hugged her knees to her chest, watching the sky for falling stars or satellites, or something; she wasn’t sure what she was looking for. A sign, maybe, that her life wasn’t falling apart. If she knew that she wasn’t going to end up in the same place she had with Rack—helpless, trapped, and incapable of rescuing herself—she might feel a little better. There was no guarantee of that, however, and Dawn was afraid that the next time she got grabbed, Spike and Buffy wouldn’t get there in time.

 

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

 

Spike’s deep voice came from behind her, and she glanced over her shoulder to see him framed in the dimly lit doorway. “I couldn’t sleep.”

 

“Nothing is going to happen to you, Dawn.” He lowered himself to sit next to her on the step. “You know your sis and I wouldn’t allow it.”

 

“You can’t promise that,” Dawn objected.

 

He sighed. “No, suppose I can’t.”

 

“Did you find him tonight?” Dawn asked.

 

Spike shook his head. “No, but we got some leads. I’m going to check with some people I know.” There was a beat, and then Spike said, “Got something for you.”

 

Dawn looked at him expectantly. “What is it?”

 

Spike held out his clenched fist, and Dawn extended her hand, palm up. He dropped something heavy and cold into her hand, and she frowned. “It’s a knife.”

 

He nodded. “That’s right. You carry that with you; that way, you can get yourself out of trouble if it comes to that.”

 

Dawn shook her head. “But—”

 

“You’ve been talking to Anya, right? Practicing with Tara?” he pressed.

 

She hesitated. “Yeah, I guess.”

 

“You can open a portal without any of the herbs and such now?” Spike asked.

 

Dawn began to see where he was taking this. “Yeah.”

 

“Then if someone grabs you, if we can’t stop it, you can use that—get yourself out of there. All you have to do is open a portal, get yourself to the safest dimension that Anya’s told you about, and then come back to the Magic Box or the house. You just open another portal.”

 

Dawn closed her hand over the knife, realizing that Spike had given her some measure of control over her own life. She didn’t have to wait for anyone to rescue her; Dawn could rescue herself.

 

If the worst were to happen, Dawn would be capable of handling it. Even though she knew she could count on Buffy and Spike to come for her, it felt good to think that Spike thought she was competent. “Thanks.”

 

“Anytime,” he replied.

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy was not pleased about her inability to find the guy who had been stalking Dawn. One of Spike’s drinking buddies had indicated that Willow’s description might fit a sleaze bag named Ray, who did a lot of favors for various demons and other unsavory characters. Spike had thought he might know a guy who knew a guy who would know where this Ray could be found, but he’d gone to ground for the moment.

 

It was really too bad that he was smart enough to hide, because Buffy had been looking forward to beating the shit out of him. No one messed with Dawn and got away with it.

 

She and Spike had looked for the guys that had kidnapped her for Rack, of course, but the magician had been the only one capable of identifying them, and he was dead. Although Dawn could give vague descriptions, there was nothing that had allowed them to focus in on one person. In the end, their search had been fruitless, but Buffy felt like they had a second chance now.

 

If they could find him.

 

Glancing out the back window, she smiled, seeing Spike seated next to Dawn. One of the best things about their relationship was the way he took care of her sister; Buffy knew she could count on him to pick up the slack when she needed a break, or to play bad cop when she got tired of the role.

 

Should she actually marry Spike at some point, it probably wouldn’t be that different than it was now; it was the sheer scope of the change. Adding another human being to the list of people she was responsible for didn’t seem like it should be that big of a deal, but this _was_ different. And the idea of going from being a girlfriend, to a fiancée, to maybe a wife—well, that was panic-inducing, considering the last wedding she’d been involved in.

 

Not that Spike would run away; she didn’t have any doubts about his ability to keep his promises.

 

“How did it go tonight?” Tara asked. “Any luck?”

 

Buffy shook her head. “No. We checked out the dives Spike knew, which I think covers all the ones in Sunnydale anyway. There were a couple of demons who seemed to corroborate the idea that someone matching his description does work for different demons on occasion. Other than that, no one had any idea of his whereabouts.”

 

Tara grimaced. “Dawn will be disappointed.”

 

“Yeah.” Buffy glanced at her. “You should stay tonight. It’s late, and we’ve got a spare bedroom.”

 

Tara smiled. “Thanks. I think I will. How are you feeling?”

 

“The nausea comes and goes.” Buffy sighed. “It’s just—”

 

Whatever else she might have said was cut off by the ringing of the phone, and she picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

 

“Is Miss Summers available?”

 

Buffy would have recognized that voice anywhere, and although there were technically two “Miss Summers” in the house, she knew which one he wanted. “This is her.”

 

“This is Quentin Travers. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

 

Buffy frowned. “No, I was up late tonight. What can I do for you?”

 

“I had heard that you were seeing William the Bloody.”

 

With the tone he used, Buffy knew he might as well have said that he’d heard she was fucking Spike. “Actually, we’re engaged,” Buffy replied with an evil smirk.

 

She could hear him choking on the other end. “Surely you can’t be serious!” he objected. “He is a demon.”

 

“Spike is one of the people I trust most,” Buffy returned.

 

“You’re pregnant by that monster,” he accused.

 

Buffy was grateful for Giles’ warning, because it allowed her to keep her calm, rather than losing her temper at the fact that the head of the Council was even aware of her pregnancy. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

 

“You still work for the Council,” Travers said, his tone icy. “If you do not wish us to take steps to prevent this monstrosity, you’ll take care of it yourself.”

 

“I don’t think that’s your choice,” Buffy snarled. “The Council hasn’t done anything for me, other than ask me to lay my life on the line. As long as the world keeps on turning, I don’t think it’s your place to tell me how to do my job. I suggest you leave me and my family the hell alone.”

 

She slammed down the receiver, her hand going to the slight bulge in her abdomen. Buffy hadn’t been certain that she wanted this baby up until that moment—she still wasn’t sure that she was ready for motherhood. The very idea that the Council might be threatening her child’s life, however—well, she wasn’t going to stand for it.

 

“Is everything okay?” Tara asked anxiously.

 

Buffy nodded. “It’s fine, just as long as the Council stays out of town.”

 

“Buffy?”

 

She turned to see Spike, who was looking worried. “That was Travers.”

 

He nodded. “We going to have trouble?”

 

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I hope he’ll take the hint and stay away.”

 

“Maybe he was just trying to scare you,” Tara suggested hopefully. “Now that he knows he can’t, he’ll leave you alone.”

 

Spike snorted. “Doesn’t know you too well, then.”

 

Buffy shook his head. “Travers has never known me, but scaring me wasn’t his goal. He wants something.”

 

“Like what?” Dawn asked.

 

Buffy raised an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

 

“Come on, Buffy, I’m old enough to know these things,” Dawn protested.

 

“Maybe,” she allowed. “But it’s also past your bedtime, and we don’t know anything right now, other than the fact that Travers is a jerk. That’s not news.”

 

Dawn grumbled a bit, but she turned to go up to bed. The three adults waited until she was out of earshot to resume their conversation. “You gonna call Rupert?” Spike asked.

 

Buffy hesitated. “I think I need to. If he has any other information about what the Council really wants, we’re going to need it.”

 

She had a feeling that they were going to need all the help they could get.

 

~~~~~

 

Xander set his toolbox down on the kitchen floor, glancing around curiously, but trying not to be too obvious about it. This was the first time he’d been inside Anya’s new apartment, but he’d wondered what kind of a place she’d found.

 

“Where’s the problem?” he asked.

 

“The garbage disposal is backed up,” Anya explained. “The landlord said it would be tomorrow before he could get anyone here.”

 

Xander tried to hide a grimace; unclogging garbage disposals was not his favorite job, and he knew that Anya knew how to fix it. He didn’t mind helping her out, though, even though he would much rather have fixed a door or built some shelves. “I’ll see what I can do.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Silence descended, and oddly enough it wasn’t uncomfortable. They had spent a lot of time in one another’s company, and they hadn’t always felt the need to talk. On the other hand, Xander thought that maybe they should have communicated a little more.

 

“You could stay for dinner, if you wanted,” Anya suggested out of the blue.

 

Xander froze for a moment. “I’d like that,” he finally admitted. Then, deciding to go out on a limb. “I’ve really missed you.”

 

“I’ve missed you, too,” Anya replied.

 

Xander had his head under the sink, and he wished he could see her face; he was not at a stopping place, though. “I’m sorry for calling it off,” Xander said. “I was being stupid.”

 

“Do you regret it?”

 

He considered her question for a long moment. “Sometimes. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do or not, but I wasn’t ready.”

 

“Then maybe it was the right thing to do,” Anya said. “I wasn’t ready to get married either.”

 

Xander had no idea what to say to that, whether to beg for another chance or just accept that their relationship was over and move on. It seemed an impossible choice. “Have you ever thought about giving us another try?”

 

“Sometimes.” Anya crouched down, and if Xander craned his neck a bit, he could see her face, although her expression was inscrutable. “I think maybe we should start with dinner.”

 

“I thought you were dating that other guy,” he said, not really wanting to bring it up, but feeling that it was necessary.

 

She shrugged. “There wasn’t the same kind of chemistry.”

 

“Really?” Xander asked, feeling a ray of hope.

 

“Really.” She looked at him expectantly. “So, dinner?”

 

Xander focused on the task at hand for a moment, wanting to be able to give her his full attention. He finished up, then extricated himself from the cabinet under the sink. “Dinner,” he agreed. “Anything else you want me to fix while I’m here?”

 

Anya smiled. “I might be able to think of something.”

 

~~~~~

 

The Koral demon glared at Ray. “You said she saw you?”

 

Ray shrugged. “She might have. Then again, pretty girl like that, walking home by herself, she might have just freaked out.”

 

The demon didn’t appear to be reassured. “We need a clean grab,” he reminded the human. “If our buyer gets noticed by the Slayer, he’s going to take it out on our hides.”

 

Ray shrugged uncomfortably. “It’s cool, man.”

 

“I’m not a man,” the Koral snapped. “We’ve got a deadline to meet, and I suggest you figure out where the best place to grab the kid might be. Otherwise, I’m going to make sure you’re the one taking the blame for things going wrong.”

 

“Nothing is going to go wrong,” Ray said, but he wasn’t too sure of that. He remembered seeing the redhead who had joined the kid somewhere before, and it bothered him. If she had recognized him, and if she was one of the Slayer’s friends, things could get difficult.

 

More than difficult.

 

Ray left the Koral’s cave, wondering once again why he’d involved himself. He probably should have just passed along the information and then allowed the demon to do the dirty work.

 

It was too late to back out now, though, so he was just going to have to make sure that they made the grab and got away clean. Ray had a week to figure out how they were going to do that. It should be enough time.

 

~~~~~

 

Spike hadn’t been able to sleep for thinking about the events of the last day or two. As thrilling as it had been to see the ultrasound pictures of his child, this new threat bothered him.

 

Actually, the threat to both Dawn and Buffy worried him, if only because it seemed that their enemies in both cases were human, and there was nothing he could do about that. As long as he had the sodding chip in his head, humans were off-limits, even in defense of those he loved.

 

He had largely adapted to the chip at this point. Most days, Spike didn’t even think about it, because these days he was fighting demons at the Slayer’s side. Although he remembered human blood with nostalgia, he’d grown used to pig’s blood.

 

A person could get used to almost anything, he’d learned, particularly when you had a good reason to find a way to live with it. If nothing else, Spike knew that the chip had given him a shot at being with Buffy. Without it, there was no way they would be where they were at present.

 

He glanced over at his coat, draped across a chair in her room. The ring was in the inner pocket; Spike had planned to give it to her that night, but then with the bastard following Dawn, and the call from the Council git, there hadn’t been time.

 

At least he was more certain of her answer now, what with her telling Travers that they were engaged already.

 

That brought the Council back to mind again, and Spike knew that he was going to have to give serious consideration to getting the chip out. If humans were the ones presenting the real threat, there was no way he was going to sit on the sidelines.

 

“Spike?” Buffy’s sleepy voice called to him. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing, luv,” Spike replied, not wanting to worry with his thoughts.

 

Buffy patted the empty space next to her. “Come to bed.”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Spike slid under the covers next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

 

The one thing stopping him from getting the chip out was the thought of losing _this_. He had no idea how Buffy would react, and the idea that she’d turn him away—that Buffy would indicate that she didn’t trust him without the chip—hurt.

 

But Spike had sworn to protect her and Dawn, and he would do whatever it took to keep that promise.


	9. Hunters

**“…From the bottom of my heart/Comes a cold dark feeling/There is eminent death/to the promise I’m keeping./From the bottom of my heart/Comes an army  of one/Marching back up the steps/Into the rays of the sun…From the bottom of my heart/Comes a cold dark feeling/I have buried so much/In the layers I’m peeling/From the bottom of my heart/A battle will come/Marching back up the steps/Into the rays of the sun/From the bottom of my heart/Comes a cold dark feeling/Wrapped around tight/With no sign of leaving…” ~The Wallflowers, “From the Bottom of My Heart”**

 

Willow wandered through the halls of Sunnydale High School, marveling at how different everything was now, how strange it all felt. The new building just had been completed at the beginning of the school year; until recently, high school students had either shared quarters with the junior high kids or been bused to the next town over.

 

Thankfully, no one had been stupid enough to build the new school on top of the Hellmouth again.

 

She managed to find her way to the library without too much trouble, peeking inside to see Dawn bent over her homework. Making her way over to the table, she whispered, “Are you ready to go?”

 

Dawn glanced up, then nodded. “Yeah, just a second.”

 

Willow sat down across from the girl, waiting patiently for her to pack up her books. They didn’t speak until they’d left the library, and then Dawn said, “Thanks for doing this.”

 

“It’s no problem,” Willow assured her. “I’m happy to help.”

 

“I still feel a lot better this way,” Dawn insisted.

 

Willow wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to ask, since no one would say that she and Dawn were close, but the question had been bothering her. “What about your friends? Surely one of them wouldn’t mind hanging out with you after school.”

 

Dawn shook her head. “Janice has been kind of weird around me recently, and no one else really understands, you know? I don’t feel like I fit with anybody.”

 

Willow could understand; if it hadn’t been for Jesse and Xander—and then Buffy and Xander—she wouldn’t have had any friends. “I get that.”

 

Dawn gave her a grateful look. “It’s not like I don’t have anybody to hang out with,” she hurried to explain. “There are people I talk to, just no one I’m close with. How is anybody going to understand my life?”

 

“You might be surprised,” Willow ventured, but she knew that she didn’t sound terribly hopeful. “People can do that sometimes.”

 

Dawn shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s generally not a good surprise.”

 

~~~~~

 

Spike awoke to the sound of pounding on his apartment door, and as it penetrated that someone wanted him badly, he hastily rose and pulled on a pair of pants. He was just a little surprised to see Clem standing on the other side, looking anxious. “Clem? What’s up, mate?”

 

“I had to talk to you as soon as I heard,” he said. “Can I come in?”

 

“Yeah, of course,” Spike replied, moving aside. “Is anything wrong?”

 

“You know Bob?” Clem asked obliquely.

 

Spike frowned, trying to figure out who the demon was referring to. “Horned demon that sometimes plays poker with us?” he finally guessed.

 

“That’s the guy,” Clem agreed. “We were talking today, and he mentioned that you’d been to Willy’s last night, looking for a guy you think grabbed Dawn last spring.” He paused. “How’s she doing, by the way?”

 

“Not too bad,” Spike said, used by now to Clem’s occasional tangents. “What did he know?”

 

Clem shook his head. “Well, I had to promise that you wouldn’t hurt him if I told you.”

 

“I promise,” Spike said impatiently. “If he’s passing along useful information, there’s no need to hurt him.”

 

“He said the guy you’re looking for is named Ray, and that he’s a human who sometimes does jobs for demons.”

 

Spike frowned, vaguely remembering hearing about the man a time or two. “He know who this Ray is working for?”

 

“No, but he’s working with the Koral demon. You know the one. He’s usually in Willy’s.” Clem shook his head. “That guy is bad news; he’s always looking for a fight.”

 

Spike nodded. “Yeah, we’ve crossed paths a time or two. Thanks, Clem. This information might help us out. That wanker, Ray, was following Dawn the other day, and it frightened her. Wouldn’t mind having a chat with him.”

 

Clem didn’t look too sure about that idea. “But what about your chip?” he asked. “If Ray’s human…”

 

Spike shrugged. “I’ll figure something out. I’m sure Buffy wouldn’t mind getting her hands on him.” He gave Clem a sharp look. “Do you know of anybody—a doctor—who’d take this chip out for me? I’ve got money; I’d be willing to pay him.”

 

Clem frowned thoughtfully. “I can ask around,” he offered. “I might be able to find someone. I have this cousin who knows a lot of people like that. She might know.”

 

“I’d appreciate it,” Spike responded. “It’s not just this wanker; looks like someone from the Council is after the Slayer, and they’re all human. They try something, there’ll be nothing I can do.”

 

Clem considered that. “Okay. I’ll see what I can find out.”

 

“Thanks, mate,” Spike said. “You know where this Koral or Ray could be found?”

 

Clem shrugged apologetically. “You know me, Spike. I don’t hang out with those guys.”

 

“Yeah, you’re a good one,” Spike replied.

 

“How’s that kitten working out for your friend?” Clem asked. “I still think they make better snacks than company, but to each their own.”

 

Spike smiled. “She was right grateful. Think the little guy was just what she needed.”

 

Clem looked pleased. “I’m glad it worked out for you. Let me know if you ever need another. I’ve been having a streak of luck lately.”

 

Spike thought about Dawn. “We’ll see,” he said vaguely. “Might take you up on the offer.” He glanced at the clock. “You’re welcome to stay around for _Passions_ , you know.”

 

Clem brightened. “That sounds good.”

 

Spike went back into his bedroom to get a shirt, thinking that he could probably wait until Buffy came around for patrol that evening before filling her in. There wasn’t much they could do with the information at the moment anyway.

 

~~~~~

 

Giles was grateful that he still had friends on the Council whom he could trust. He didn’t like what he’d heard from Travers, and he was worried about Buffy. Although Giles had every intention of heading back to Sunnydale at the earliest possible date, there were things he could do only from England.

 

Thankfully, his work visa no longer depended on the Council’s pulling the strings, since he was a reputable business owner. He hadn’t planned on going back to Sunnydale on a permanent basis, but circumstances had obviously changed.

 

“Hello, Nigel,” he said, sliding into the booth across from the other man. “Thank you for seeing me.”

 

“Travers has gone too far this time,” Nigel replied. “Someone needs to stop him.”

 

Giles frowned. “He might be the head of the Council, but he is still subject to its rules.”

 

“The Council is ruled by a majority,” Nigel reminded him. “For now, Travers has enough votes on his side to control the outcome. Besides, his message is one of fear, and there are a number of Watchers who have spent their lives in books and not in the field.”

 

Giles knew how true that was. There were many members of the Council who had no idea what it was like to be in charge of a Slayer, and what kind of flexibility was required. They were hidebound and highly reluctant to change.

 

“What is he planning, Nigel?” Giles pressed. “You haven’t told me anything concrete yet.”

 

“My understanding is that he’s going to put pressure on your Slayer to terminate the pregnancy, or at least to allow the Council to have control over the child until it’s clear that it presents no threat.” Nigel grimaced. “You can see why there are a number of us who are concerned.”

 

Giles’ eyes widened. “He’s mad!” he exclaimed. “Buffy would never allow it, nor would Spike.”

 

Nigel’s expression was rueful. “Why do you think there are a few of us who are not happy with the state of things?” He sighed. “Until Travers oversteps his bounds, or until we have a majority again, there’s little we can do. You do realize that as the head, Travers has control over the more secret aspects of Council affairs.”

 

That was what had Giles concerned. Most Watchers, no matter how hidebound they might be, would refuse to carry out an order they felt was illegal; there were those who worked for the Council who had no such compunctions. “If someone takes over for Travers, who is the most likely successor?”

 

“Me, I believe,” Nigel replied modestly. “I have the field experience and the credentials, and I’ll have the support, particularly from those who dislike Travers’ methods.”

 

Giles nodded. “You have my support.”

 

Nigel nodded. “Are you going back to Sunnydale?”

 

“Without the Council, there’s nothing keeping me here,” Giles replied. “And I think my Slayer might need me.”

 

“Be careful,” Nigel cautioned him. “There’s no telling what Travers will do.”

 

“No, there isn’t,” Giles agreed, “but I plan on being prepared.”

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy frowned. “That doesn’t sound good. What do you know about this other demon?” They were sitting on the couch in her living room, Spike having come over to meet her for patrol. Spike had been filling her in on his conversation with Clem, and it was only serving to make her that much more anxious.

 

“The Koral?” Spike asked. “Nothing good, and that’s about it.”

 

“That’s probably enough.” Buffy really didn’t like the sound of things; she wanted to know exactly what was going on, and exactly what this demon wanted with her sister. “Are you up for another night of hunting?”

 

“When am I not up for a night of hunting?” Spike asked with a smile. “Yeah, we can go. Who’s staying with Dawn?”

 

Buffy made a face. “That’s the problem. I don’t want to ask Willow, because she’s been walking Dawn home from school every day, and I haven’t been able to reach either Xander or Anya.”

 

“Anya’s having dinner with Xander tonight,” Spike explained. “That’s why.”

 

Buffy raised her eyebrows. “How is it that you know these things, and I don’t?”

 

“Went by the Magic Box before I came over here to get burba weed,” he explained. “Anya was there, and so was Tara. Glinda was going to watch the shop tonight.”

 

That didn’t leave anyone to stay with Dawn, and Buffy knew she’d never get away with asking Spike to stay at the house; he was more and more reluctant to allow her to go out on patrol by herself these days, with the pregnancy and the potential threat from the Council. There was also the fact that he might have an easier time getting the information than she would.

 

Buffy didn’t much like letting Spike go out on his own either; she worried about him.

 

“You could go by yourself,” she said slowly. “I don’t like it, but…”

 

“There aren’t a lot of other options,” Spike said. “Unless Dawn wants to stay at the Magic Box with Tara.”

 

Buffy shook her head. “She’s got a paper to work on.”

 

Spike nodded. “Then I’ll see you later?”

 

“You’d better, mister,” Buffy replied. “I’ll want a full report.”

 

“You’ll get it,” he said.

 

Buffy watched him go, sighing. They still hadn’t discussed when he was going to move in, but at least she’d talked with the social worker, who hadn’t seemed terribly surprised that Buffy was pregnant. She wondered if she came off as a slut or something, because the pregnancy had certainly been a shock to her. Of course, she and Spike weren’t supposed to be able to _get_ pregnant.

 

At least the woman hadn’t said what she’d been thinking; instead, she’d been very encouraging about Spike’s moving in to give Buffy a hand, particularly when Buffy had explained how well Spike and Dawn got along, and that they were planning on getting engaged, just as soon as they purchased a ring.

 

Then there was the issue about turning her old room into a nursery, although there was no telling when that would get done, between figuring out what kind of threat this demon presented and wondering what the Council might do.

 

When the phone rang, Buffy didn’t bother holding back a groan; every time she got a phone call recently, there had been an emergency on the other end. “Hello?”

 

“Buffy, I’m glad I caught you.” Giles sounded out of breath, which was decidedly odd.

 

“Spike’s taking patrol tonight,” she said. “There wasn’t anyone to stay with Dawn. What’s up, Giles?”

 

“I spoke with one of my friends who’s on the Council,” Giles replied. “He’s concerned that Travers might try something.”

 

Buffy _really_ didn’t like that sound of that. “What kind of ‘something?’”

 

“The same sort of methods he used to try to deal with Faith,” Giles responded. “I’m boarding a flight to New York shortly, and I should be in Sunnydale tomorrow afternoon, your time.”

 

Buffy knew it was serious, if Giles was rushing back to town. “I have a class, but someone should be able to pick you up. If not, I’ll just skip it.”

 

“I’m planning on renting a car,” Giles responded. “I can go to the Magic Box if there isn’t going to be anyone at your house.”

 

Buffy thought about it for a minute. “Spike can be here. He’s coming back tonight after patrol, and I’ll just have him stay.”

 

“That sounds fine.”

 

“Are you okay, Giles?” Buffy asked. “The Council isn’t coming after you, are they?”

 

“I don’t believe so.” Giles hesitated. “Be careful, Buffy. I don’t know that Travers will be so foolish, but…”

 

“Better safe than sorry,” Buffy responded. “I’ll be careful. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

As Buffy hung up the phone, she started laughing, unable to help herself. When it rained, it poured. She was just glad that she wasn’t contemplating fighting one of her friends; at least they were all on the same side this time around.

 

~~~~~

 

“What do you mean, she’s never alone?”

 

Ray gulped nervously. The last time he’d followed the girl around for a while, there had been plenty of occasions where she went off on her own. He and Don had just waited for the right opportunity, when there was less chance of getting caught.

 

Dawn Summers hadn’t been alone since she’d spotted him following her, however—not that he was about to tell the Koral that.

 

“She’s never alone,” Ray repeated. “I don’t know what’s going on, but she’s always with someone, like that witch or one of the Slayer’s friends.”

 

The Koral did not look pleased. “We have a deadline, human,” he growled. “Our buyer wants the girl within the week; if you do not deliver her, I’ll be sure he knows who’s responsible for the delay.”

 

Having met their buyer, Ray had no desire to be the one whose neck was on the line. “I’ll take care of it,” he assured the demon. “No one’s ever complained about my work in the past.”

 

The Koral turned, heading for the mouth of his cave. “Wednesday, human. You will bring the girl here, as that is when our buyer will arrive.”

 

Ray winced, wondering if it was too late to get out of town, particularly since he’d heard that the Slayer and her pet vampire were looking for him.

 

He needed the money, though, so he’d do the job, and collect his payment, and then he’d head to more friendly climes, where they’d never heard of the Slayer, or a girl made of energy.

 

Ray had heard Mexico was nice this time of year.

 

~~~~~

 

Patrol was quieter than he might have liked; Spike would have preferred to find Ray or the Koral demon, or at least some other nasty. He was in the mood to do some damage.

 

After a few hours, with only a few dusted fledglings to show for his troubles, Spike headed back to Revello Drive. He fully intended to present Buffy with the ring if she was still awake when he arrived; there hadn’t been an opportunity yet, and it was beginning to burn a hole in his pocket.

 

He let himself into the house, still a bit in awe of the fact that he held a key, and could come and go as he pleased. Spike had lost hope the summer that Buffy had been in her grave; he hadn’t expected her to return. Once she had, however, Spike had thought he might have a shot at proving his love for her.

 

Spike hadn’t been able to bring himself to believe that Buffy would love him, however, just that she might one day accept his love.

 

“How did patrol go?” Buffy asked as soon as he slipped inside the room he’d begun to think of as theirs.

 

“Quiet,” Spike replied. “Was a bit disappointing.”

 

Buffy made a face. “Don’t I know it. Giles called after you left.”

 

Spike frowned. “Something wrong?”

 

“He thinks that Travers might try something stupid,” Buffy replied. “He’ll be in town tomorrow afternoon.”

 

That bit of news just caused Spike’s concern to grow. “Why’s he coming back?” he demanded. “Is there something he isn’t telling us?”

 

Buffy gave him an odd look. “I thought you liked Giles.”

 

“I don’t mind him,” Spike said, not willing to admit that he liked the Watcher. “Think about it, Buffy. The man leaves, and just a couple of weeks later, he’s high-tailing it back here? This is something serious, and if all he’s telling you is that the Council wankers ‘might do something stupid,’ that’s not nearly enough information.”

 

Buffy sighed. “I’m sure there’s more to it than that, but he was out of breath when he called, Spike. I wasn’t going to grill him. Maybe there were things he didn’t want to say over the phone.”

 

“Maybe so,” Spike allowed. “Seems to me that things are heating up a bit, though. I don’t like not knowing what’s coming.”

 

She laughed shortly. “Welcome to my life.”

 

“Been around for long enough that I should know better, yeah?” Spike asked ruefully, sitting down next to her on the bed. “You want me to stay tonight?”

 

“I always like it when you stay,” Buffy admitted candidly. “You don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow?”

 

Spike shook his head. “I’m all yours, if you like.”

 

“Actually, I was hoping you’d be here to let Giles in. I have class, and Dawn will be at school; he said he was just going to rent a car, as long as someone was here.”

 

Spike gave her a mock-sigh. “So, it’s not my skills as a cook you want, it’s my skills as a butler.”

 

“Now you’re getting the picture,” Buffy teased. Sobering, she added, “I really would appreciate it.”

 

He shrugged. “Not like I have anything better to do during the day.”

 

Buffy made a face. “We’re going to have to start thinking about turning the guest room into a nursery.”

 

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Afraid I won’t be much help there, luv. Don’t know anything about babies.”

 

“Like I do,” was her rejoinder. “We’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

 

“Far as I can tell, yeah,” Spike said. “You still in?”

 

Buffy hesitated, then admitted, “If I was at all unsure before, just the fact that Quentin Travers doesn’t want me to do this would have convinced me.”

 

Spike didn’t know how to respond to that, since it still appeared as though he was the one who was more excited about this new prospect. Changing the subject seemed the only thing to do. “Got something for you.”

 

She straightened. “What is it? Am I gonna like it?”

 

“Hope so.” Spike pulled the small black box out of his pocket, opening it to reveal the contents when Buffy didn’t move.

 

“Oh.”

 

Spike tried to hide the hurt that her less than enthusiastic response caused. “Was hoping for something a little more positive.”

 

Buffy shook her head. “No, it’s just—” She glanced up at him, a sly smile curving her lips. “I was actually expecting a skull ring.”

 

Spike frowned, not understanding what she was referring to immediately. When the memory came, an answering smile graced his face. “Figured since I had more time to prepare, I’d try for something a little more your style.” Taking her hint, he dropped off the bed and onto one knee. “Say yes, Buffy, and make me the happiest man on earth.”

 

She grinned impishly. “Oh, Spike, of course it’s yes.”

 

Spike really was the happiest man on earth, at least for that moment.


	10. Another World

**“She’s an extraordinary girl/In an ordinary world/And she can’t seem to get away…She sees the mirror of herself/An image she wants to sell/To anyone willing to buy/He steals the image in her kiss/From her heart’s apocalypse/From the one called whatsername/She’s all alone again/Wiping the tears from her eyes/Some days he feels like dying/Some days it’s not worth trying/Now that they both are finding/She gets so sick of crying/She’s an extraordinary girl.” ~Green Day, “Extraordinary Girl”**

 

Xander wandered into the Magic Box around noon, wondering if Anya would agree to have lunch with him; he hadn’t been sure if she’d be able to leave, so he’d brought it with him. Dinner had gone so well the other night, Xander wanted to try it again.

 

It hadn’t been all about the sex between the two of them; Xander had simply enjoyed being with Anya—watching movies, talking, hanging out. By the time the split had come, he could have honestly said that Anya was his best friend.

 

That had been the worst part of their break up—not only had he lost Anya, but with Willow in England, Xander had felt adrift. It was one of the reasons he hadn’t wanted to criticize Buffy’s relationship with Spike; he couldn’t afford to lose another friend.

 

“An?”

 

“Xander.” For the first time in the last few months, her tone was warm, and she actually looked pleased to see him. “What are you doing here? I thought you were working today.”

 

“I’m on my lunch break,” Xander replied, holding up two sack lunches. “I stopped at the deli down the street because I wasn’t sure you’d be able to get away.”

 

She smiled at him, clearly pleased. “Thank you. That was very thoughtful.”

 

He shrugged. “Are you hungry?”

 

“Starving,” Anya replied. “Flip the sign over? I think I can take an hour break.”

 

Xander did as she asked, and sat down next to her at the table, handing her one of the lunches he’d purchased. He still remembered what kind of sandwich she preferred, right down to the condiments. “How’s the day been?”

 

“Good,” she said, digging into her food. “Did you know Giles is flying into town today?”

 

He shook his head. “What for? He was just here.”

 

“He thinks the Council might try to do something to Buffy,” Anya explained. “Tara told me this morning when I talked to her. She had a class with Buffy earlier.”

 

Xander nodded, knowing how word tended to spread around their small group. “Is Buffy worried?”

 

Anya shrugged. “Tara didn’t think so.” She hesitated. “They’re engaged, you know,” she said evenly.

 

Xander frowned, trying to figure out who Anya was referring to. After going over the various possibilities in his mind, there was only one. “Spike and Buffy? Really?” He considered it, then sighed. “Well, I guess it was inevitable.”

 

Anya raised an eyebrow. “That’s all you’re going to say?”

 

Xander was a little confused. “Anya, Buffy’s pregnant with Spike’s kid. Whether I like him or not, that’s pretty much permanent.” He grimaced. “Besides, Spike’s not so bad.”

 

She nodded slowly. “I see.”

 

Xander suddenly realized that it might not be his reaction to Spike and Buffy getting engaged that she was looking for—after all, they’d been together for a while, and it was old news by now. “Are you okay with it?”

 

“With what?” Anya asked quietly.

 

“With them being engaged.”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Her confession was so quiet Xander almost missed it, and he was at a loss. “Would you ever want to try again?” he asked.

 

Anya shook her head. “I don’t know, Xander.” She met his eyes. “I really wish I didn’t love you so much sometimes, you know?”

 

It stung, but at the same time, Xander thought it was nice to hear that she still loved him, whether she was happy about the fact or not. “I know,” he finally said, covering her hand with his where it rested on the table.

 

Xander knew he was going to have to make a decision soon about where he wanted their relationship to go. He’d wanted to spend the rest of his life with Anya when he thought that the world might end; the question was if he’d make the same decision knowing that they might be together for the next fifty years.

 

~~~~~

 

The door swung open just as Giles began to knock. He couldn’t see anyone at first, but soon realized that Spike was standing behind the door, to avoid any exposure to the sun. “How are you, Spike?” Giles asked as he stepped inside.

 

“Fine,” the vampire replied. “How was the flight?”

 

“Uneventful, thankfully,” Giles said. “I take it Buffy filled you in on our conversation.”

 

“She did.” Spike led the way to the kitchen, where the blinds were drawn against the sun. “We both decided that there wasn’t much to be done right now.”

 

Giles nodded. “I agree. Is there any more word on the man following Dawn?”

 

Spike shook his head, looking frustrated. “We’ve got a name, and a list of known contacts, but that’s about it. The bastard seems to have gone to ground, and I’ve bloody well looked everywhere I could think of.”

 

Giles heard the frustration in Spike’s voice and rightly guessed that it had to do with his perceived inability to keep Dawn safe, and to prevent any further harm from coming to her. “You can’t be everywhere,” he said. “Nor can you hold yourself responsible for the actions of others.” When Spike shook his head, clearly not buying the argument, Giles added, “It’s clear that you’re doing your best, Spike.”

 

Something akin to gratitude flickered across his expressive face. “Yeah, well…” He shrugged. “You hungry or anything? Think there’s leftovers from dinner last night in the fridge.”

 

“Not really,” Giles replied. “I can see to my own needs if you want to get back to sleep,” he suggested.

 

“Yeah, I didn’t get much sleep,” Spike replied. “I’ll be around if you need me, though.”

 

Giles watched him leave, then checked the fridge and cupboards, pleased to discover that Buffy had purchased some decent tea since he’d last been there. He was just sitting down to enjoy a cup when the door banged open, and a few seconds later Dawn stomped into the kitchen dramatically.

 

“Hey, Giles,” she said, brought up short by the sight of him. “When did you arrive?”

 

“Not long ago.” He raised an eyebrow. “Is there a problem?”

 

“Is Spike around?” Dawn asked in return. “I need to talk to him.”

 

“He went back up to bed,” Giles said.

 

The girl let out a heavy sigh. “Okay.”

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Not really.”

 

She meant that she didn’t discuss it with him; he wasn’t her normal confidant. “Very well. How did you get home?”

 

“Willow picked me up,” Dawn replied. “She just got a new car. It’s kind of cool.”

 

“Good. I’m sure it will come in handy.”

 

Dawn watched him warily. “How long are you staying this time?” she finally asked.

 

“Indefinitely.” Giles sipped his tea. “I am no longer part of the Council, and Anya needs my help with the shop. It seemed like a good idea to relocate.”

 

“Again?”

 

“I probably wouldn’t have left if I’d been able to see the future,” Giles admitted.

 

Dawn nodded. “Yeah. I guess that’s how everybody is.” She paused, then said, “Kirsty invited Janice to her party, but not me, and Janice is hanging out with her all the time now.”

 

“I see.” Giles had no idea who Dawn was referring to, but he could at least hear the pain in her voice. “I’m sorry that this has been such a difficult few months for you, Dawn.”

 

She smiled. “Thanks. I think I’m going to start on my homework.”

 

Giles watched her go, thinking that she had probably grown another inch in the last month or two, and that she was growing up quickly. In truth, it simply made him feel old.

 

~~~~~

 

“What is on your hand?”

 

Dawn watched as Buffy glanced up from her textbook. “What?”

 

It was a homey scene. Giles had already gone to bed, since he’d lost a lot of sleep over the past few days, but Buffy and Dawn were working on homework while Spike read a book. She’d managed to fill Spike’s ear about her recurring troubles with Kirsty and Janice, and he’d offered to eat them for her. All was right with the world.

 

Except that she hadn’t seen the ring on Buffy’s left hand until just that moment.

 

“You’re engaged,” Dawn said accusingly. She glared at Spike. “You didn’t tell me!”

 

“Was waiting for your sister to break the news,” he replied, raising an eyebrow as he glanced at Buffy. “Did you tell your Watcher already?”

 

Buffy blushed. “Not exactly. He saw it earlier when we were cleaning up after dinner.”

 

Dawn stared at her. “Does everybody else know?”

 

Buffy hesitated. “Well, Tara saw it this morning when I went to class, and I didn’t tell her that she couldn’t tell anybody, so… It’s hard to say.”

 

Feeling incredibly hurt, Dawn muttered. “Great. Thanks, Buffy. I guess that just shows how much you think of me.”

 

“It wasn’t like that, Dawn!” Buffy protested. “Spike asked me last night, and then…” She trailed off. “I just hadn’t thought about it. It feels normal.”

 

Spike smiled. “That right, luv?” he asked warmly.

 

“Pretty much,” she admitted. Looking at Dawn, she said, “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. You should have been the first to know.”

 

“That’s right, I should’ve,” Dawn said, still feeling hurt.

 

Dawn watched as Buffy met Spike’s eyes, and they seemed to do that unspoken communication thing they were getting so good at. “We still needed to talk to you about Spike moving in,” Buffy said. “Are you okay with that?”

 

“Would it matter if I said I wasn’t?” Dawn asked, knowing she was being a brat and not caring.

 

“It would,” Spike said evenly. “We’d still have to do what we thought was the best thing, but if you didn’t want me living here, I’d take it into consideration.”

 

Seeing the pain in his eyes, Dawn hastened to assure him. “I don’t mind. I just wondered.”

 

“I’m sorry that we didn’t tell you right away, Dawn,” Buffy said with some asperity. “But remember that you had to rush out the door this morning because you forgot to set your alarm, and with Giles in town, there hasn’t been a lot of time for the big announcements.”

 

“Sorry,” Dawn muttered. Looking at Spike, she asked, “You’re really moving in?”

 

“And we’re thinking of turning Buffy’s old room into a nursery,” Spike said. “That okay with you?”

 

Dawn considered the question. “Yeah, that would be cool. Can I help?”

 

“As much as you like,” Buffy responded, sounding relieved. “We’re going to need you, Dawn.”

 

She made a face. “You just want free baby sitting.”

 

Spike gave her the smile he used to get what he wanted; it worked about as well as her puppy dog eyes did. “There isn’t anybody we trust more.”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Dawn said. “But I want to plan the baby shower.”

 

Buffy sighed. “Fine. But no stupid games.”

 

Dawn wasn’t about to make any promises.

 

~~~~~

 

Tara had promised Dawn that she would pick her up from school so that they could go shopping. Dawn wanted to throw Buffy a combination baby shower and engagement party, and that required party supplies. Tara knew that Willow would likely want to help as well, which meant that they could end up spending even more time together than they were already.

 

Spending time around Willow was awkward, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Tara could see the changes in the other woman, and it was clear to her that Willow had grown up considerably in her time with the coven. Tara was reminded more and more of the girl she’d fallen in love with—and that was the problem.

 

Tara wasn’t in love with that girl anymore, and she worried that Willow would try to press the matter.

 

She could be fretting over nothing, however, because while Willow had been tentatively friendly, she hadn’t made any moves of a romantic nature. Tara hoped that they could eventually settle into a friendship, since avoiding one another was simply not an option.

 

Tara entered the school library, looking for Dawn. She soon spotted the girl’s backpack and books, but Dawn was nowhere in sight. Tara sat down at the table to wait, assuming that Dawn had merely left for a moment and would soon return.

 

After fifteen minutes, Tara began to get concerned. It seemed strange that Dawn would leave her things unattended. She went up to the information desk, smiling at the woman who sat there. “Hi. Have you seen Dawn Summers recently? I’m supposed to be picking her up today.”

 

The librarian frowned. “She asked me to watch her things while she used the bathroom.” Glancing at the clock, she added, “That was over an hour ago.”

 

Tara nodded, smiling tightly. “I’m sure she just lost track of time. Thanks.” She hesitated, uncertain of her next move. With a last glance at Dawn’s things, she hurried out of the library and down the hall to the office, where the public phone was located. She quickly dialed Buffy’s number, and when she didn’t get a response, called the Magic Box.

 

“The Magic Box. How may I help you?”

 

Tara was relieved to hear Giles’ measured voice. “Giles, it’s Tara. I’m at Dawn’s school, and she’s not here.”

 

“Where is she?” he asked.

 

“I don’t know!” Tara exclaimed, then tried to modulate her tone. “When I got here, Dawn’s things were in the library, where she said she’d be, but when I asked the librarian about it, she said that Dawn had left an hour ago.”

 

There was a pause. “Have you looked around the school?”

 

“No,” Tara said shortly. “It’s a large school, Giles. I have no idea where she would be.”

 

“And you haven’t spoken to Buffy or Spike yet?”

 

“They weren’t at home,” Tara replied. “I thought you would be the best person to call.”

 

“Of course. I’ll contact Willow, and we’ll set up a locator spell. Hopefully we’ll have some information on Dawn’s whereabouts before Buffy finds out that she’s missing.”

 

Tara wasn’t quite so hopeful.

 

~~~~~

 

He’d come out of nowhere, as far as Dawn could tell. One minute she was headed to the bathroom, and the next there was a cloth over her mouth and nose, and everything went black.

 

When she finally woke up, it was impossible to tell what time it was, but she could hear voices a few feet away. She remained still, hoping they wouldn’t notice that she was awake. Her hands were bound in front of her, but some subtle tensing of her feet told her that they hadn’t done the same to her ankles.  


“I didn’t think you’d manage it, human. As soon as our buyer gets here, you’ll get your payment.”

 

“When’s he supposed to get here? I’ve got a bus to catch.”

 

“Clients can’t be rushed, particularly when they’re paying as much as this one is,” the first voice growled.

 

“I’m hungry,” the second voice whined.

 

“I suppose we could eat while we’re waiting,” the first one allowed. “Will she remain sedated, or should we give her another dose?”

 

“You do that, and you might kill her. She’s just a little thing; she should be out awhile longer.”

 

Dawn squeezed her eyes tightly shut, listening carefully as the footsteps echoed and then diminished. Once she couldn’t hear anything but the distant sound of water dripping, she opened her eyes, realizing that she was in a cave of some sort.

 

“Crap,” Dawn muttered, quickly considering her options. She could stay where she was and wait for rescue. Tara was supposed to meet her at the school, and she would raise the alarm as soon as she realized that Dawn was missing. If they didn’t get there before the “buyer” did, however, things could get really ugly, and Dawn knew she might not have another chance to create a portal.

 

This possibility led her to her second option—open a portal to another dimension, step through, close it behind her, and then open another back to Sunnydale. It was the reason that Spike had given her the knife, and she still had it. Even though pocketknives weren’t allowed in school, she’d made a habit of carrying it, being careful not to let anyone see it.

 

Of course, Dawn had never opened a portal from another dimension; there was no real guarantee that she’d be able to do it.

 

The desire to rescue herself for once, as well as the fear of what might happen if her captors returned before Spike and Buffy showed up, had Dawn wriggling stiff fingers into the pocket of her jeans and working the knife free.

 

Pushing down the wave of dizziness that hit as soon as she got onto her knees, Dawn closed her eyes and focused on where she wanted to go. She tried to remember the safest place Anya had told her about—somewhere without nasty demons or creatures who would look on her as a tasty treat. When she had centered herself, Dawn used the knife blade to cut her finger, letting a drop of blood fall to the ground.

 

For a moment, she didn’t think it was going to work, and then the energy began to swirl in front of her. As the portal opened, Dawn heard a shout behind her, and she propelled herself through as best as she could, tumbling onto leaf-strewn earth.

 

“Crap, crap, crap,” Dawn muttered, trying to squeeze out another drop of blood to close the portal.

 

It shut, but not before the man who had grabbed her for Rack had come through. He grabbed her by the upper arm, shaking her. “You’re going to get us back!” he said angrily. “You’re going to get us back, or I’m gonna make you wish you hadn’t been born, girly-girl.”

 

“Let go of me!” Dawn shouted, knowing that it was futile. She should have waited for Buffy; her sister would never find her here.

 

He leered at her. “You don’t get us back, I’ll be taking it out of your hide, hear me?”

 

The man pulled her up against him, and Dawn didn’t bother to hide her shudder of revulsion. His hand came down to slap her hard across the face. “You don’t want that, you’ll—”

 

His eyes widened briefly, and he abruptly released her. Dawn scrambled backwards to avoid his falling body, staring at the knife hilt sticking out of his back.

 

And then at the young man who had stabbed him.


	11. Out of the Frying Pan

**“I don’t see myself when I look in the mirror/I see who I should be/I don’t see myself when I look in your eyes/Thank God for that…I hear them screaming/On the radio/It’s getting louder/In the crossfire/Trying to find some hope/Our day will come/We’ll find the sun/We’ll find the fire/We’ll sanctify/The love we gave/Our one desire…” ~Starsailor, “In the Crossfire”**

 

“What happened?” Buffy demanded as she burst into the Magic Box, sending the bell above the door jangling wildly.

 

Giles winced, both at the sound and at the thought of having to tell her that Dawn was missing. “When Tara went to get Dawn from school, she wasn’t there, but her things were.”

 

“Shit.” Buffy looked ready to kill something. “Do we know where to start looking?”

 

“Willow’s getting ready to do a locator spell right now,” Giles replied. “Once she finds the location, we’ll be ready to go.”

 

The bell over the door jangled again, this time a little more gently. “I got your message, Giles,” Xander said. “What’s up?”

 

“It looks like someone grabbed Dawn,” Buffy said. “You up for a rescue mission?”

 

“Always,” was the immediate response. “Is Willow working on something?”

 

“A locator spell,” Giles replied. “Where’s Spike?”

 

Buffy gestured outside at the fading light. “It wasn’t quite dark enough yet, so he took the back way. He should be here any minute.”

 

“Speak of the devil,” Xander murmured as Spike came out of the back room. Buffy shot him a look, but he just shrugged.

 

Spike frowned, his eyes immediately going to Buffy. “Dawn?”

 

“Willow’s on it,” Buffy said. “How long before we know?”

 

Giles shook his head. “I’m not sure. It shouldn’t be much longer.”

 

Buffy was grateful when Spike came to stand by her, placing his strong hands on her shoulders. She had to admit that as worried as she was about Dawn, it felt good to know that everyone was together, working to solve the problem.

 

The minutes passed slowly, feeling more like hours; Buffy couldn’t help but think of all the things that could happen to Dawn in the time it took them to find her. After all, Rack had had her for maybe a couple of hours—certainly no longer than she’d already been missing—and he’d been able to do quite a bit of damage.

 

“We’ve got it,” Willow said, coming out of the training room with Anya and Tara on her heels. “Dawn’s in the north woods. I’m not sure where exactly, but—”

 

“I can find her,” Spike interrupted. “When we find the general area, I can track her from there.”

 

Buffy glanced outside at the last rays of light. “We’ll need weapons.”

 

“Someone should probably stay here,” Tara pointed out. “If Dawn manages to get away, she’ll probably come back here, or to the house.”

 

Buffy nodded, thinking fast. “Xander, Anya, stay here. You’d probably better close up the shop, just in case someone comes looking. Giles, Tara, head to the house, in case Dawn shows up there. I don’t want anybody getting caught alone.”

 

Giles looked like he wanted to argue, but finally nodded. “That might be wise,” he acknowledged.

 

“Buffy?” Willow asked. “What about me?”

 

Buffy looked her right in the eye. “You’re my big gun, Will. You’re with Spike and me.”

 

~~~~~

 

Dawn stood frozen, wondering if she’d moved from the frying pan into the fire—although she really didn’t think that anyone could be worse than the dead man that lay before her.

 

The young man didn’t look much older than her, maybe a few years at most, and he was dressed in rough clothing of the sort she’d seen in movies. The kind of clothing that peasants from the Middle Ages wore, which told her just how far from home she really was.

 

“Are you all right?” he asked, striding forward and yanking his knife out of the corpse, then wiping it on the dead man’s shirt.

 

“Yes,” Dawn managed to squeak out. “Thank you.”

 

The young man reached for her hands, causing Dawn to stumble back a couple of steps. “Please,” he said, holding up his hands in a non-threatening gesture. “Let me cut the rope.”

 

She stepped forward, holding out her bound hands. He cut the rope that bound her in one swift motion, and then motioned for her to follow him. “Come. You can’t be seen. Strangers aren’t welcome here anymore.”

 

Dawn balked at following him. Sure, he’d probably saved her life, but there was no telling what he was going to do with her now. “Strangers?”

 

He raised his eyebrows. “You are not from this world, correct?”

 

“Well, no, but—”

 

“You will not be welcomed by most,” he repeated. “There are those who would kill you.”

 

Dawn had no guarantee of that, except for his word, but he _had_ saved her from Ray, and his eyes were kind. And she needed to get somewhere safe so she could open another portal home. “Okay.”

 

He led her through a forest, the trees ancient and looming, allowing little sunlight through. There wasn’t much underbrush where she’d opened the portal, but it soon grew dense, with bushes, vines, and other vegetation tripping her up. They had been walking for a little while when Dawn realized that she’d left her pocketknife behind, although she wasn’t sure on which side of the portal she’d dropped it. “Crap,” she muttered, her eyes stinging.

 

“Are you all right?” he asked softly.

 

“Yes. No. I guess,” Dawn said, hardly able to tell if she was okay herself. “I left my knife somewhere.”

 

“I can lend you mine,” he said.

 

That offer caused Dawn to feel a little better about his intentions; he probably wouldn’t give her a weapon if he meant to harm her. “No, it’s—a friend gave it to me.”

 

“It has meaning to you.”

 

“Yeah.” She realized that she didn’t even know his name. “I’m Dawn,” she offered.

 

He glanced over his shoulder at her, and she caught a glimpse of clear hazel eyes. “Like the morning?”

 

“Yeah,” she said. “What’s your name?”

 

“Bracken.” He motioned her closer. “The bush gets dense through here; stay close.”

 

Dawn had thought that the foliage _was_ dense; she hated to think how difficult it would be to get through. She took a tight grip on the back of his shirt as he ducked into what looked like a tunnel of trees. Branches and leaves scratched her face and bare arms and tangled in her hair; Dawn knew she was going to look like a mess when she got out of this.

 

When they emerged from the tunnel, it was into a clearing, and Dawn was amazed by the beauty of the place, with the sunlight streaming down from above. “Where are we?”

 

“When we hunt, we usually come here,” Bracken replied. “There’s a stand in that tree over there, and we shoot the klorx from above.”

 

“The what?”

 

“You eat them,” Bracken said. “You’re from a different world, aren’t you?”

 

She could see the curiosity in his eyes. “How did you know?”

 

“We had strangers here two years ago,” Bracken said eagerly. “They helped lead the rebellion, and they overturned the Covenant and freed the cows.”

 

Dawn frowned. “The cows?”

 

“Humans,” he explained.

 

Something didn’t quite mesh. “Then why would anybody want to kill me?” she asked, watching as he dropped down to sit cross-legged on the grass. “If what the strangers did was good, I mean.” Dawn joined him on the ground, wondering if she should open a portal right in front of him, or if she should wait until he was gone. If he left her alone. Dawn had no idea how she was going to get herself out of this mess with minimal fuss.

 

“There are still factions,” Bracken explained. “Some think that we should have a ruler, others think we should rule ourselves. Some wish for cooperation, and others for isolation. Many blame the strangers for the changes they caused, without bringing true peace. My father told me that it’s only because people like to complain, and they have to blame someone.”

 

“Will you get in trouble?” Dawn asked. “For helping me?”

 

He grinned. “Not if they don’t catch me.” Bracken’s eyes turned serious again, his mud-brown hair hanging in his eyes. “Can you get home? There are priests that might know, but I don’t know how to open a portal.”

 

Dawn nodded. “I think so. I hope so, anyway.” She hesitated. “If you give me your knife, I think I could open one now.”

 

Bracken hesitated, then solemnly handed her his knife, hilt first. Dawn took a deep breath, centering herself once again, thinking about the Magic Box, about the training room, about how badly she wanted to go home. With a careful motion, she cut her finger, letting a drop of blood fall.

 

For the first time since she’d opened the portal under Tara’s direction, nothing happened.

 

Dawn stared at the space where the energy should have been.

 

“How does it work?” Bracken asked, obviously waiting for something to happen.

 

“It’s supposed to be there,” Dawn replied in disbelief. “It was supposed to open right away.” She turned to look at him. “I swear, that’s how it’s always worked in the past.” She could feel the tears begin to threaten.

 

Bracken frowned. “You opened a door to get here?”

 

Dawn nodded. “I was trying to get away from the guy you killed. He wanted to hurt me.”

 

“Then maybe you need some time?” he suggested. “It’s said that portals here never open in the same place too close together, because one drains the energy. How long between openings has it been for you in the past?”

 

Dawn felt some measure of relief. “Days, at least. I haven’t done this much before, just four or five times in the last few weeks.”

 

He offered a reassuring smile. “Then we’ll wait until you have the energy to open the door again.”

 

“Won’t you be missed?” Dawn asked, thinking of Spike and Buffy’s likely panic. The others would be worried about her, too.

 

Bracken smiled, shaking his head. “My parents have thirteen children, and I’m not their favorite. They won’t mind not feeding me.”

 

“Oh.” Dawn wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Thanks.”

 

He shrugged. “We’ll need a fire. Help me gather wood, and tell me about where you’re from. Do you have family?”

 

Dawn took the proffered hand and allowed Bracken to pull her to her feet. “I have a sister,” she replied. “She’s probably going crazy.”

 

He glanced down at her. “She’ll be looking for you?”

 

Dawn nodded, hoping that Buffy would figure out what had happened. “Yeah. I just hope she doesn’t do something stupid before I get back.”

 

~~~~~

 

“This is it,” Spike announced.

 

Willow had led them to the general area that the spell had indicated Dawn would be, and Spike had followed her scent to the mouth of a cave. His hand stopped Buffy before she could march out of the brush and into the open. “Not yet,” he warned. “There’s someone coming.”

 

A moment later, a hulking demon emerged from the bushes not fifteen feet away. “What is that?” Buffy hissed.

 

“Sagrat demon,” Spike muttered. “Bloody hell.”

 

“What does that mean?” Willow asked urgently.

 

He shook his head. “Nothing good. They’re tough to kill, and they like to collect things that’ll give them power.”

 

Buffy’s face hardened. “He isn’t getting his hands on Dawn.”

 

“That goes without saying,” Spike replied.

 

They watched intently as the Sagrat called out, “Where is my purchase? I expect punctuality.”

 

Spike frowned as silence descended, wondering if they were in the wrong place after all, even though the evidence seemed to point to the contrary. Buffy made an aborted move to the entrance, just before a snake-like demon walked out. “We no longer have the girl.”

 

The Sagrat snarled audibly. “You promised. Do you know what I do to those who break their promises to me?”

 

“I can only imagine,” the Koral replied, pulling out a double-barreled shotgun and shooting the Sagrat in the chest. As big as the demon was, the blast still knocked him onto his back, and the Koral didn’t hesitate to reload and pull the trigger again, this time unloading into the other demon’s face.

 

The Sagrat was ugly enough that Spike thought it might be an improvement to lose his head.

 

He glanced over at Buffy and nodded; as one, they rose, rushing the Koral from behind, driving the demon to the ground with simultaneous twin kicks to his back. Spike knelt down hard on the demon’s back, driving all the air from his lungs. “Where’s my sister?” Buffy demanded, grabbing one of the spines coming out of the top of his head.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the Koral hissed in reply.

 

Spike applied a little more pressure, knowing exactly where the sensitive spots on the demon’s back were. “Don’t think you heard the Slayer,” he said. “Where’s the girl? If you tell us, we might be persuaded to give you a quick death.”

 

“Bite me.”

 

Spike’s face shifted. “Don’t tempt me.”

 

Even though the Koral couldn’t see the change, with his face pressed into the ground, Spike knew he’d sensed it. “I don’t know where the brat went. She opened a portal, and Ray went in after her. I certainly didn’t touch a hair on her head.”

 

“Sorry,” Buffy snarled. “Wrong answer.” With a quick motion, she snapped the demon’s neck.

 

Spike raised an eyebrow. “We might have needed more info, Slayer.”

 

“No, we don’t,” she contradicted him. “Dawn opened a portal, which means she’s somewhere else, and we either hope to hell she can get back home, or we hope that Willow can somehow find her.”

 

Spike turned to look at the witch, who had come to join them next to the demon’s body. “What?” she asked, hearing her name but not having caught the context.

 

“Can you find Dawn if she’s in some other dimension?” Buffy asked.

 

Willow hesitated. “I don’t think so, Buffy. You’ve heard Anya talk; there are thousands of different dimensions. Maybe if we had something to go on, but—opening a portal isn’t easy to begin with.”

 

“Why don’t we do a quick search of the cave?” Spike asked. “We might be able to find something that’ll help narrow it down.”

 

Willow nodded slowly. “Maybe. I’m not making any promises, though.”

 

“We’re not expecting miracles, Will,” Buffy assured her. “Just do what you can.”

 

Spike caught the scent of Dawn’s blood soon enough after entering the cave, and they didn’t have to go too far in before finding the spot where she’d last been. Although the only indicator that Dawn had been there, other than her scent and the minute trace of blood that Spike could sense, was the knife he’d given her.

 

He picked it up off the ground thoughtfully. “This is what she used to open the portal.”

 

“How can you be sure?” Buffy demanded.

 

“It’s got her blood on it, and it was clean when I gave it to her.” Spike met her eyes. “She hasn’t opened any doors within the last few days, Buffy.”

 

“Is there any way to tell where she went?” Buffy asked Willow.

 

Willow shook her head. “I’m sorry, Buffy, but there isn’t any evidence of where she might have gone. Only Dawn would know.”

 

“What about Anya?” Buffy asked, almost desperately. “Anya was the one who told Dawn about all the dimensions. Maybe she—”

 

“She told Dawn about dozens of dimensions,” Spike said. “Dawn might have tried to go to the safest one, or she might have gotten sidetracked, being in danger an’ all.”

 

Buffy put a hand to her forehead. “What are we going to do, Spike? I can’t lose her!”

 

“You’re not going to lose her, luv,” Spike said, moving to wrap her in his arms, ignoring Willow’s presence. “She’s smart, and she’ll get herself back home again.”

 

“She might be home already,” Willow pointed out hopefully. “She’d probably go to the Magic Box or your house, right?”

 

“Right,” Buffy agreed, straightening. “Let’s get out of here. Dawn might be back already.”

 

Spike didn’t say anything, although he wished Willow hadn’t gotten Buffy’s hopes up. Even though he had faith in Dawn’s ability to get herself out of trouble, he knew it might take her a little longer than that to get back to Sunnydale.

 

He had to believe that she’d eventually make it back, though; Spike knew that the only way they were going to see Dawn again was if she rescued herself.

 

~~~~~

 

“Are you alright?” Giles asked.

 

Tara managed a smile for him. “I’m fine. Worried, but fine.”

 

“I’m sure they’ll find her.”

 

Tara shook her head. “I don’t know if Dawn would stay in one place long enough for them to find her.”

 

Giles frowned, not quite understanding. “What do you mean?”

 

“Dawn can open portals to other dimensions without any help, and this is definitely an emergency situation.” Tara sighed. “If she thought that she was in enough danger, Dawn would open a portal, and then would come back.”

 

“You sound worried,” Giles observed. “You don’t think she’ll be able to do it.”

 

Tara leaned her head back on the couch. “I know that Dawn’s capable. She’s come a long way since she started working on opening doors, and she’s gotten better. Dawn has never had to get herself back home, though.”

 

Giles began to appear alarmed. “If Dawn does go to a different dimension, and she can’t open another portal—”

 

“There’s no way I know of to find her,” Tara admitted. “We thought about trying it, making sure it worked both ways, but we could never find a fool-proof way of getting Dawn back if it _didn’t_ work. And—” Tara broke off, unsure if she should alarm him further.

 

“What else?” Giles asked, beginning to clean his glasses.

 

Tara sighed. “We’ve never opened more than one portal in a day, Giles. I don’t know what kind of energy it takes, but I imagine it’s like anything else. It takes its toll on a person, and whatever energy is inherent in Dawn’s makeup can’t be inexhaustible.”

 

“You’re saying you don’t know how long it might be before she’s able to open a door back here, assuming that she can,” Giles rephrased. He winced. “Buffy is not going to be pleased to hear that.”

 

“There’s nothing we can do about it,” Tara said. “If Spike and Buffy don’t get there in time, we’ll just have to hope that Dawn can get herself out of trouble for once.”

 

Tara was hopeful, but she also knew that there were a lot of variables in that equation. Any number of things could go wrong, preventing Dawn from getting back to Sunnydale right away—perhaps preventing her from returning altogether.


	12. No Place Like Home

**“As I row, row, row/Going so slow, slow, slow/Just down below me is the old sea…Nobody knows, knows, knows/So many things, things, so/So out of range/Sometimes so strange/Sometimes so sweet/Sometimes so lonely/The further I go/More letters from home never arrive/And I’m alone/All of the way/All of the way/Alone and alive/You just have to go, go, go/Where I don’t know, know, know/This is the thing/Somebody said/Somebody told me/A long time ago.” ~Patty Griffin, “Rowing Song”**

 

“The stars are so bright here,” Dawn said, staring at the sky through the tree branches.

 

The air was chilly, but the fire took care of the worst of the cold, and she wasn’t terribly uncomfortable. Besides, with Bracken right next to her, Dawn felt safe enough to relax.

 

Strange that she could trust him, since she’d only just met him.

 

“Are they not as bright where you’re from?” Bracken asked.

 

“No. The lights from the cities kind of block it out, so you can only see the brightest ones, and even those don’t look as shiny.” She glanced over at him. “Can I ask you a question?”

 

“Of course.” His teeth flashed in a grin. “I’ve asked you many.”

 

She returned his smile. “Why aren’t you scared of me? You said that there are others who wouldn’t want me here.”

 

Bracken waved a hand, as though to minimize his bravery. “You remind me of my sister.”

 

Dawn made a face. “Is that a good thing?”

 

He chuckled. “Since she’s my favorite sibling, yes.” Bracken was silent for a long moment. “I also knew that you meant no harm. It’s not your fault that there were others before you who came and changed everything.”

 

“Do you not like the change?” Dawn asked.

 

Bracken sighed. “It’s different now. My father fought with the rebellion, so he wanted freedom. I was almost old enough to fight when the strangers ended the war. I understand that this is better, but it’s also harder for some. Having freedom, after being a slave, isn’t easy.”

 

“You were a slave?” Dawn asked.

 

“We all were.”

 

The silence stretched between them, although it wasn’t uncomfortable. She yawned widely into the darkness. “Sorry.”

 

“You should sleep,” Bracken said. “I can keep watch.”

 

Dawn hesitated. “Are you sure?”

 

He sat up, looking down at her, the firelight causing his skin and eyes to take on a golden hue. “I’ve done it before.”

 

She curled up a little closer to the fire, letting its warmth wash over her, and felt herself slipping down into sleep. Dawn’s final thought was of Buffy, hoping that her sister wouldn’t worry too much.

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy found it impossible to sit still, and so she was pacing the length of the living room as Tara explained her suspicions regarding Dawn’s powers. “Doesn’t being the Key make the energy nearly inexhaustible?” she asked. “I mean, that’s what Rack seemed to think.”

 

“Dawn wasn’t doing the work,” Tara said patiently. “Any kind of magic, even what Dawn’s doing with opening doors, takes work.”

 

“I’ve been there, Buffy,” Willow said. “It’s not surprising that Dawn wouldn’t be able to open a portal back right away.”

 

“Why didn’t I know this before?” she demanded. “Maybe Dawn would have waited for us if she’d known.”

 

“Or maybe she didn’t feel like she had a choice,” Spike said quietly. “She might have felt too threatened to wait.”

 

“Damn it.” Buffy didn’t want to be logical; she wanted to go insane with worry. If anything happened to Dawn… “There really isn’t anything we can do?”

 

Tara shook her head. “I’m sorry, Buffy.”

 

“I wish I could do something,” Willow added, “but there’s no way of knowing where Dawn might be.”

 

Buffy nodded wearily. “Thanks, guys. I guess we’ll just have to hope that Dawn can get herself home.”

 

Tara and Willow left soon after, and Buffy could see that the mood between them was tense and uncomfortable. She didn’t really expect that it would get easier any time soon, either.

 

“I think I’m going to go to bed,” Giles said. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

 

Buffy nodded. “Thanks, Giles.” She had called Xander and Anya earlier to tell them they could leave, knowing that if Dawn did show up at the Magic Box, she could always call. That left her with Spike, and she allowed him to wrap his arms around her, leaning her head against his shoulder. “I hate this.”

 

“I know. I do, too.”

 

She just let him hold her; Spike was one of the few people that she would allow to see her weakness, as well as her strength. Everyone else seemed to expect her to be strong all the time, but not Spike. It was one of the reasons she trusted him so much.

 

“I’ve been thinking about getting the chip out,” Spike said quietly.

 

Buffy pulled back, staring at him. “What?”

 

“I’ve been thinking about getting the chip out,” he repeated. “Ray, Rack, the Council gits—they’re all human, Buffy. How the bloody hell am I supposed to protect you or the baby with this thing in my head?”

 

Buffy stepped away from him. “I can take care of myself.”

 

“And the baby?” Spike pressed. “Buffy, I need to know that I can protect you and the kid. It’s not just this time around. You don’t know when the next bad guy’s going to be human, like those nerds.”

 

She didn’t know what to say. Buffy didn’t want to refuse outright; she trusted Spike—with or without the chip. On the other hand, now didn’t seem like the best time to have someone rummaging around in Spike’s brain. What if something went wrong?

 

“Is now really the best time?” she finally asked. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, Spike. It’s just that if you did this, you might not be around when we do need you.”

 

Spike’s eyes searched her face. “You’d trust me to do it?”

 

“Of course,” Buffy said impatiently. “I know you. You’re not going to do anything that would make me stake you.”

 

His expression softened. “Yeah. Long as you trust me, I think I can wait. Clem’s on the lookout for a doctor that might be able to help, but there’s no guarantee I’m going to find one, and I wouldn’t do it unless it meant you were safer.”

 

“I know,” Buffy said. “But right now, I need you too much to lose you, Spike.”

 

“You’re not going to lose me,” he assured her. “But it’s going to get done, one way or another, Buffy. This is important, and it’s gonna get more so as time goes by.”

 

She nodded. “Let me know what Clem finds out. Once we find Dawn, we’ll have room to breathe, and we can focus on taking care of the chip.”

 

Spike’s eyes seemed to search her face. “You’re really okay with this?”

 

Buffy took a deep breath. “When I decided to be with you, it was with the understanding that the chip might fail at some point. I told you, Spike. I trust you.”

 

“Thank you.” The words were heartfelt, and Buffy allowed herself to be drawn into his embrace once more, although her mind was still on Dawn, and where she might be, and anything they could do to get her back.

 

Buffy had a feeling that she wouldn’t be thinking of anything else until Dawn was home.

 

~~~~~

 

Xander wasn’t sure how they got there, but somehow he and Anya had ended up in her bed.

 

Okay, so he knew exactly what had happened; he had offered to give her a ride home after Buffy called the Magic Box, then she had invited him inside for a drink, and one thing had led to another. Even though he knew that it was probably a mistake, Xander couldn’t regret it.

 

It felt too damn good.

 

“We probably shouldn’t have done this,” Anya commented, seeming to read his thoughts.

 

Xander sighed. “I know. I’m not sorry about it.”

 

She turned her head to look at him. “What are we doing, Xander?”

 

He propped himself up on his elbow. “I don’t know. I just know that I don’t want to live without you. I love you, Anya.”

 

Anya looked away, her eyes troubled. “But what are we doing?” she repeated. “I know that you love me. I love you, too. That’s not always enough.”

 

“Why don’t we get married?” he asked.

 

She stared at him. “I thought you didn’t want to get married.”

 

“I was scared,” he admitted. “I didn’t know what it would mean for us.”

 

Anya frowned. “Nothing has changed.”

 

“Everything changed,” Xander objected. “Look, Anya, it was stupid to break up with you. All the wedding plans and everything, and the idea that we’d be together forever—I got scared.”

 

“And now you’re not scared?” she asked suspiciously.

 

Xander hesitated, unsure of how to explain that he’d been scared to death of their marriage ending up like his parents’ had, that he hadn’t been sure he could spend the rest of his life with one person. He would much rather face the prospect of spending his life _with_ Anya than _without_ her, however.

 

“Not of marriage,” he replied. “I’m just scared of losing you.”

 

Anya made a face. “So, we plan another wedding?”

 

“Can’t we just elope?” Xander asked plaintively. “We could have a reception afterwards.”

 

Something in Anya’s eyes changed. “You want to elope? When?”

 

“After Dawn comes back?” he suggested. “We could go to Las Vegas, take a long weekend. With Giles in town, you wouldn’t have to worry about getting someone to take care of the Magic Box. We could plan a real honeymoon for later.”

 

“I’ll think about it,” Anya said.

 

Xander was a little disappointed that he didn’t get an immediate yes, but he figured it was only fair, since he was the one who had backed out the first time around. “Okay.”

 

Anya raised an eyebrow. “That’s it? You’re not going to try and convince me?”

 

“What—” Xander suddenly figured out what she was talking about; multiple orgasms had always helped Anya make up her mind. “I can do that.”

 

~~~~~

 

“I feel like this is my fault,” Willow said.

 

Tara wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Her apartment was on the way to Xander’s, which was why she and Willow were walking together. As uncomfortable as it was to be alone with her ex-girlfriend, it was still probably better than insisting on walking by herself, which would lead to a different sort of awkwardness.

 

“How would it be your fault?” she finally asked.

 

Willow’s expression was rueful. “I was the one who was responsible for Rack noticing Dawn in the first place.”

 

Tara couldn’t argue, but she didn’t think it was quite that simple. “You don’t know that someone else wouldn’t have found out,” she observed. “And it still might turn out for the best. What if we needed Dawn’s gift, but didn’t know she could open a portal?”

 

Willow didn’t look convinced, and reluctantly said, “Maybe.”

 

Tara lapsed into silence; she had no idea how to talk to Willow these days, even though there had been a time when it seemed as though they would never run out of things to say. They reached the corner where Willow had to turn in another direction, and Tara half-expected Willow to ask if she wanted to hang out.

 

Instead, Willow met her eyes, sorrow and love evident in her expression. “I know we’re never going to be able to go back to where we were; I don’t expect that,” Willow said, adding, “But do you think we can be friends?”

 

Tara was no expert on what happened after you broke up with someone, particularly when you were expected to spend time with them. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I’d like to be friends, Willow, but…”

 

Willow nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll probably see you tomorrow.”

 

“Probably,” Tara replied helplessly, watching as Willow walked away. She walked the last two blocks to her apartment at a brisk pace, blinking the tears back impatiently. Tara couldn’t help still mourning the loss of their relationship; she’d believed that Willow was the only one for her, and the loss of that assurance stung.

 

Tara managed to hold back the tears until she got into her apartment, and then she could do so no longer. She leaned against the door, wiping at her eyes ineffectually, trying to stem the flow.

 

She might have stood there forever, but a furry head butted her leg impatiently. “Mrrrow!”

 

“Oh, Merlin,” Tara said, laughing through her tears. “I’m sorry. You’re probably starving.” She picked him up, heading into the tiny kitchen to grab a can of cat food. “I’m being stupid,” she confided.

 

Merlin just purred, rubbing his head against her chin.

 

“It’s a good thing I have you,” Tara said. “I think I’d be tempted to wallow otherwise.”

 

“Mew,” Merlin agreed, then increased the volume of his purring as soon as he saw the can of cat food.

 

Tara fed him, then sighed. “I wonder how on earth Spike knew I’d need you,” she mused, stroking his soft fur as he devoured his dinner.

 

Merlin ignored her in favor of his food.

 

Tara leaned her head back against the cabinet from her spot on the floor next to the kitten, wondering when it was going to get easier, or if it ever would.

 

~~~~~

 

Dawn’s eyes snapped open as she felt a hand come down over her mouth. Bracken put a finger to his lips, and she nodded, waiting until he’d pulled his hand away to whisper, “What is it?”

 

“There are people coming,” he said. “You have to hide.”

 

Dawn frowned. “What about you?”

 

Bracken gave her a tight smile. “Better they find me than you, and they know that someone is here.” Dawn opened her mouth to argue, but he cut her off impatiently. “There’s no time.”

 

Dawn decided to defer to his judgment, at least until she had the chance to see what the odds against them were. Bracken hurried her over to one of the nearby trees and boosted her up onto the lowest branch. “Keep going up,” he ordered. “Don’t come down, no matter what happens.”

 

She nodded but didn’t promise, then started climbing. The dim light of early morning was enough to see by, allowing her to locate the best places to put her hands and feet. When she stopped, Dawn made sure that no one would be able to see her from below, but that she could see Bracken in the clearing below as he stoked the fire.

 

Dawn watched as he went about his business, as though he hadn’t a care in the world. He’d been scared, that much had been obvious from his expression, and Dawn had no idea what was coming, or what she could do about it.

 

She really wished she had her knife with her.

 

“What have we here?”

 

The rough voice echoed, and Dawn knew that this was one person who didn’t care if anybody heard him. She clung to the trunk as four men walked into the clearing. “Andrus,” Bracken said.

 

“You don’t have anything more to say to your big brother?” Andrus asked.

 

Dawn’s eyes widened. If that was Bracken’s brother, why had he been so worried about them seeing her?

 

“What else can I say?” Bracken asked.

 

“You might have brought me something,” Andrus replied. “You haven’t been hunting?”

 

Bracken shrugged. “I haven’t had any luck.”

 

Andrus shook his head. “You never were any good at men’s work. You should be home in the kitchen with Mother. Perhaps you’ll find a girl who doesn’t mind your weakness.”

 

Dawn raised an eyebrow at that, wishing she could tell the jerk exactly how _not_ weak Bracken was, but she kept her mouth shut, beginning to understand why Bracken had been so worried.

 

“Perhaps,” Bracken said, not sounding all that bothered.

 

One of the men with Andrus elbowed him. “I thought you said we’d find food or sport.”

 

“That would depend on Bracken,” Andrus replied, turning to his brother. “What’s it going to be? Food or sport?”

 

Dawn couldn’t see Bracken’s expression from her vantage point, but she heard the tension in his voice. “I have no food for you, Andrus. I brought nothing with me.”

 

“Then it must be sport,” another man said with a cruel smile. “We’ll find our food elsewhere.”

 

Andrus was the first to strike, and Dawn was appalled to see that Bracken didn’t even attempt to fight back. He sheltered himself as best he could, but he was no match for the four men, all of whom were as big or bigger than him.

 

She wanted to help; Dawn wanted to rescue him as he had rescued her, but she knew that allowing them to see her would only result in badness. Their definition of “sport” was probably what Ray had had in mind before Bracken had killed him.

 

After the first couple of seconds, Dawn squeezed her eyes closed, leaning her forehead against the tree truck, wishing that she could shut out the sounds just as easily.

 

“Get home now, little brother,” Andrus said finally. “If you tell father this time, I’ll make sure you don’t live to regret it.”

 

Dawn waited until she was certain that they were gone before scrambling down the tree to Bracken’s side. “Bracken?” she whispered, worried that the men might still be nearby. She needed to get them out of this place.

 

“Dawn?” Bracken cracked one half-swollen eyelid. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, but you’re not,” she said. “I need to get you out of here.”

 

“I’ll be fine,” he replied. “This is not the first time. Although, it might be the worst,” he added, struggling to sit up.

 

Dawn shook her head vehemently. “You can’t stay here, Bracken. How are you going to get home?”

 

His eyes were solemn. “Where else would I go?”

 

“Come with me,” Dawn said. “At least until you heal. You could always come back here if you decide you want to, but you need a doctor.”

 

Bracken began to shake his head. “Dawn, there’s no room in your world for me.”

 

“How do you know?” she demanded. “You saved me. My sister and Spike would really like you for that alone.” Dawn touched his shoulder. “What if they come back?”

 

“They’re hungry; they won’t be back today.” Bracken looked troubled at that thought, however. “The man who tried to hurt you,” he said slowly. “There are more like him?”

 

Dawn shrugged. “It seems like there’s always somebody out to get me. My sister _is_ the Slayer.”

 

“I don’t know what that means,” Bracken replied. Dawn could tell that he was softening. “I could come back here?”

 

Dawn hesitated, knowing that she had to be truthful. “I think so,” she said reluctantly. “I’ve been here now, so it should be easier.”

 

Bracken took a deep breath. “Then I will go with you, if you promise to open a door for me if I am in the way.”

 

“You won’t be in the way,” Dawn said impatiently. Then, seeing the stubborn tilt of his chin, she sighed. “I promise.”

 

“What do you need to open this door? My knife?”

 

Dawn nodded. “That would be good.” She took the knife that he handed her, noting that he’d hidden it inside his boot before his brother had shown up. “That was really your brother? Is he one of the people who isn’t happy about the way things are?”

 

Bracken shook his head. “He’s a bandit, but because he provides food for our table, he’s a hero.”

 

Dawn didn’t ask what Bracken was; she had a feeling that Andrus’ comments told her everything that she needed to know. “Be ready to go,” she warned him.

 

She muttered a quick prayer that it would work this time to anyone or anything that might be listening and inclined to help, and then Dawn took a deep breath, centering herself. Picturing the training room of the Magic Box in her mind, she focused on going home.

 

That’s all she wanted, was to go home.

 

A quick jerk of the knife had a thin line of blood welling on her left index finger, reopening the same cut that she’d made the other day. This time, Dawn could feel the energy, could see the swirl of light as the portal opened.

 

Dawn stood quickly, pulling Bracken’s arm over her shoulder. “Come on.”

 

He went willingly enough, and she wondered at his bravery once again. It wasn’t just anybody who would accompany a virtual stranger to another world. On the other hand, maybe any place would be better than the one he was leaving, and Dawn was pretty sure she could get him home again.

 

“Bracken!”

 

Dawn sent a panicked look over her shoulder. “Shit. Not again,” she muttered, pulling Bracken with her as quickly as possible. As soon as their feet hit the wooden floor of the training room, Dawn let him go, whirling to close the portal before they were followed. “Shit, shit, shit.”

 

To her immense relief, the portal swirled and closed, blinking out of existence, as though it had never been.

 

“Dawn?”

 

She turned to see Giles standing in the doorway of the training room, staring at her and Bracken. “Hey, Giles.”

 

“Are you okay?” he asked quickly.

 

Dawn nodded, sticking her cut finger in her mouth to stop the bleeding. “I’m great. Hungry, but good. Bracken needs a doctor, though.”

 

Giles raised an eyebrow, but maintained an impressive calm. “Of course. We can call your sister from the hospital.” He made his way to Bracken’s side, supporting him on the right, even as Dawn took the left. “I’m Giles. It’s nice to make your acquaintance.”

 

Dawn bit back a grin, amused at Giles’ politeness, and extremely thankful that he was willing to refrain from asking a bunch of questions. After all, Buffy was probably going to ask the same ones, and Dawn didn’t want to tell her story more than once.


	13. Eye of the Storm

**“Words fell/Like roses at our feet/When you let me see you cry/Your silent lips against my cheek/Words fell/On a night as black as coal/Your kisses traveled deep/Your eyes pierced my soul…Words fell/In another place and time/I knew your mournful blue/Knew your golden grace/Words fell/When we let the ocean hold us/And sank beneath the waves/In the silence of the roses…” ~Lucinda Williams, “Words Fell”**

 

“What?” Buffy asked, her eyes widening. “Okay, we’ll be right there.”

 

Spike frowned. “What’s going on?”

 

“That was Giles. Dawn showed up in the training room with a friend in tow. He said that the kid with Dawn needed to go to the hospital.”

 

He glanced outside at the bright afternoon sunshine. “Meet you there?”

 

“You’d better,” Buffy replied.

 

Spike made his way through the sewers, feeling the knot of worry ease a bit, knowing that Dawn was safe. _Dawn_ hadn’t needed to go to the hospital, and that was all that mattered to him. He couldn’t help but wonder who she had brought with her, though.

 

Giles was seated in the lobby of the emergency room when he arrived, and Spike headed over. “Buffy already here?”

 

“She’s back with Dawn and Bracken,” Giles replied. “I’m not sure that the doctor is buying our cover story.”

 

“Which one is that?”

 

“That Bracken was involved in a play and was mugged on his way home.”

 

Spike raised an eyebrow. “A play?”

 

“We had to explain what he was wearing somehow,” Giles replied. “He looked like he was from some sort of medieval exercise.”

 

Spike raised an eyebrow. “I’ll just check on them, then.”

 

“Room 107,” Giles replied. “The doctor wanted to take him back for x-rays.”

 

Spike frowned. “Who is this kid, Rupert?”

 

Giles shook his head. “All Dawn would say is that he saved her life.”

 

“That’s enough for me,” Spike commented. “Be back in a bit. Have you called Tara yet?”

 

“I left a message with everyone I could think of,” Giles assured him. “It should be taken care of.”

 

Spike nodded, heading back to the room that Giles had indicated. He glanced through the window set into the door before entering, catching sight of Dawn hovering next to a bed holding a young man, Buffy at her side. Spike had a feeling that the Slayer wouldn’t be letting her younger sister out of her sight any time soon.

 

He entered the room, watching as the boy tensed, and Dawn laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay.” She hugged Spike in greeting. “Hey, Spike.”

 

Spike returned her embrace. “You okay, Bit?”

 

“Fine, thanks to Bracken,” Dawn replied, throwing a grateful look at the boy in the bed. “Spike, this is Bracken. He saved my life. Bracken, this is Spike. He’s like my big brother.” She made a face. “You know, a nice one.”

 

Bracken bobbed his head nervously. “Hello.”

 

“Anyone who takes care of Dawn is welcome here,” Spike said, deciding that questions could wait. He saw a little of the tension drain from the boy’s face. “What happened?” he asked.

 

Dawn sighed. “Can we wait? Because everybody is going to want to know what happened, and I don’t want to explain more than once.”

 

“Sure, Dawn,” Buffy said, shooting Spike a look. “We’ll wait until we get back to the house and everyone is there.”

 

Spike shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out Dawn’s knife. “Were you looking for this?”

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Dawn exclaimed, snatching it from his hand and throwing her arms around him. “I thought I’d lost it!”

 

“Came in handy, did it?” Spike asked.

 

“Very,” she replied.

 

The doctor entered the room, a woman who was probably in her mid-thirties. “How are we doing?”

 

Spike could see Bracken’s puzzled look. “How soon can we take him home, doc?” he asked, giving her his best smile.

 

She returned it, blushing slightly. “In a few hours, I imagine, once we’re sure of the results of a few tests. It doesn’t appear as though there’s any internal bleeding.” She gave Bracken a severe look. “You’ll want to avoid any kind of strenuous activity for a while, however.”

 

“We’ll take good care of him,” Dawn piped up.

 

The doctor appeared amused. “I’m sure you will.” She scribbled off a prescription. “For the pain,” she explained, handing the script to Buffy.

 

“Thanks, Dr. Suarez,” Buffy said. “We really appreciate all your help.”

 

“Call me if you have any other problems,” Dr. Suarez ordered. “And I’ll want to see you in a week, Bracken. I want to be sure your ribs are healing.”

 

He nodded. “Yes, doctor.”

 

As soon as the doctor had left the room, Dawn heaved a sigh. “Thanks, Buffy. I didn’t know what to tell her.”

 

Spike raised an eyebrow. “What did you tell her?”

 

“That Bracken was a friend of Dawn’s who was living with my boyfriend while he pursued a theater degree at UC Sunnydale,” Buffy replied, all in one breath. “And don’t even ask where that came from, because I have no idea.”

 

“Good cover story,” Spike admitted. “You sure you’re alright, Bit?”

 

Dawn nodded. “But I’m _really_ hungry, and I’ll bet Bracken is, too. Can we get something to eat?”

 

“As soon as we’re cleared to leave,” Buffy said. She gave Bracken a critical look. “We’ll have to find something for you to wear,” she observed.

 

“I’ll take care of it,” Spike said. “I’ll let Rupert know what’s going on, and he can give you a ride.”

 

Buffy nodded. “I’ll see you back at our place?”

 

“If that’s where you’re heading,” Spike replied, returning her kiss. “See you in a bit, luv.”

 

He was both surprised and gratified at Dawn’s quick embrace. “Thanks, Spike.”

 

“Glad you’re safe, Bit,” Spike replied, meaning it. They had come too close to losing her.

 

Much too close.

 

~~~~~

 

Bracken was bewildered by Dawn’s world, filled as it was with noise, people, and strange sights—like the vehicle that Giles had driven. He didn’t even know that such self-powered conveyances were possible.

 

Perhaps even more bewildering was how kind everyone was. Giles had been nothing but courteous from the moment they had met, Dawn’s sister had fussed over him much like his own might have, and the man called Spike had welcomed him.

 

Dawn had claimed that her world had room for him, and while Bracken still wasn’t convinced, so far she had been right. At least it seemed that her family and friends were happy to accept him with no questions asked.

 

“This is our house,” Dawn said, apparently anxious for his approval. “It’s not huge, but—”

 

“It is a big house,” Bracken assured her. “By our standards, at least.” Dawn’s house was larger than his father’s, and he asked, “How many besides you live here?”

 

“It’s just me and Buffy,” Dawn said. “Spike stays over a lot, but other than that, nobody.”

 

“All this space for two people?” he asked, staring at the interior. Everything looked rich, much too rich for someone like him—and yet he got the impression that this was modest by the standards of this world. Bracken wondered what a truly wealthy person might have.

 

“Do you want to get cleaned up?” Buffy asked, as she and Giles followed them inside. “I’m going to order pizza, but it’s going to be a little while before it’s here.”

 

Bracken sensed that the correct answer to that question was “yes,” and so that was the one he gave. “I would appreciate it.”

 

“Dawn can show you how the shower works,” Buffy said. “I’m sure Spike will be here soon with clothing.”

 

“Thank you.” Bracken trailed Dawn up the stairs, feeling more out of place as the moments went by. “Your house is amazing,” he said, struggling to find the words to say. “It’s—you—”

 

“It’s not that special,” Dawn replied quickly. “Really. We’re pretty average.”

 

Bracken shook his head. “This is more than my family could hope to have, even with Andrus stealing from the richest of the rich!” he protested.

 

Dawn shrugged uncomfortably. “Maybe, but it’s different here. Just give it a try, huh? It’s really not so bad once you get used to it.” She laid a hand on his arm, and Bracken found himself just a little amazed by her kindness, particularly after she had seen what his brother was capable of.

 

“All right,” he agreed, not sure what he was promising.

 

“Here,” Dawn said, leading him into a smaller room. She turned a handle fixed over a large, white basin. “This one will give you hot water if you turn it and the other will give you cold water. You pull this handle to get a shower.”

 

“A shower?” Bracken echoed.

 

“If you want the water to come from there,” she replied, pointing at the metal fixture on the wall just above his head. “Make sure you close the curtain so the water doesn’t go everywhere,” Dawn advised. She pulled what looked like a thick piece of some sort of cloth out of a closet. “You can use that to dry off with, and this is shampoo and soap. Shampoo for your hair, and soap for everything else.” She blushed a bit. “Got it?”

 

Bracken nodded without replying. He didn’t understand half of what she’d said, but he sensed that he’d do better trying it out for himself. Once Dawn had left the room, Bracken stripped down, turning the handles as Dawn had demonstrated. The water that gushed out soon warmed, and he experimented the temperature.

 

After a few moments, he began to feel a bit guilty; Bracken had no idea what kind of effort or expense it took to get to get the water hot and plentiful. Following Dawn’s directions, he pulled the appropriate handle, startled when the water hit him in the face.

 

It didn’t take him more than a few seconds to realize exactly how nice a shower could be. Remembering that he probably ought to be quick about things was a lot harder to do, but Bracken used the soap and shampoo that Dawn had pointed out, finally turning off the water and stepping out of the shower when he was clean.

 

He used the cloth Dawn had given him, amazed at the soft, plush fabric. The knock on the door startled him, and he turned quickly. “Yes?”

 

“I brought some clothes for you.” Bracken recognized the voice as belonging to Spike. “You want to grab them or should I leave them out here?”

 

Bracken hesitated, then hastily wrapped the cloth around his middle and opened the door. Spike handed him the pile of clothing, and he clutched it to his chest with his free arm. “Thank you, sir.”

 

Spike snorted. “It’s just Spike. Haven’t been a ‘sir’ for over a century now. We’ve got dinner here when you’re ready.”

 

“Thank you.” Bracken shut the door, staring at the clothing in bewilderment. It was nothing like his own. He fingered the soft fabric of the shirt, softer than anything he’d ever had next to his skin before.

 

He wanted to believe Dawn—Bracken wanted to believe that there might be a place for him here, as many wonderful things as her world seemed to hold. It seemed impossible, however; if he didn’t fit with his own family, how would he find a place among strangers?

 

~~~~~

 

Dawn bit her lip anxiously, wondering what was taking Bracken so long. Someone was probably going to have to explain other aspects of good hygiene to him, and he’d need more than the one set of clothing that Spike had brought over. Dawn didn’t regret bringing him back to Sunnydale with her—she was sure he would have been killed sooner or later by that jerk, Andrus, otherwise. At the same time, things were getting a little more complicated than she’d intended.

 

Honestly, she hadn’t thought past bringing him to safety and convincing Spike and Buffy to let him stay.

 

“He can stay at my place,” Spike said quietly.

 

Dawn glanced over at him in surprise. “What?”

 

“Your friend? I’ve got room for him.”

 

She had no idea how Spike had known. “Thanks. It’s just—he saved my life, Spike, and then they nearly killed him. I couldn’t leave him behind.”

 

“’Course you couldn’t,” Spike agreed. “We’ll get this sorted, Bit.”

 

There were voices at the front door then, and Willow, Xander, and Anya came in. “Dawn!” Willow said. “You’re okay!”

 

Dawn didn’t mind returning Willow’s heartfelt embrace. She’d mostly forgiven the woman by now. Mostly. Xander gave her a slightly awkward one-armed hug. “I’m glad you’re okay, Dawn.”

 

“Me, too,” Dawn replied. She and Anya looked at one another for a moment before Dawn grinned and hugged her. “Hey, Anya.”

 

“Congratulations on a very successful portal jumping,” Anya said. “That can be very tricky.”

 

“It was a little tricky,” Dawn agreed. She could see Bracken over Anya’s shoulder, and she pulled back. “This is Bracken, guys. He saved my life.”

 

She watched as he flushed deeply, obviously unused to being the center of attention. In the jeans and t-shirt that Spike had procured for him, and with his shaggy brown hair, Bracken might have been a native Californian; Dawn realized that he looked a lot like some of the surfers she knew from school. Once the bruises faded, he’d fit right in.

 

Dawn was just about to begin the introductions when Tara arrived, and she could tell that Bracken was quickly beginning to feel overwhelmed. Even though he’d said that he had a lot of siblings, Dawn knew that it probably didn’t compare to being around so many strangers.

 

Besides, if any of his siblings were like Andrus, Dawn could understand why he might like living in the woods most of the time.

 

Dawn glued herself to Bracken’s side, giving him quiet explanations about everything and everyone—what pizza consisted of, what each person’s relationship to her was, and as much background information as she thought he could handle.

 

Once everybody had a plate, Dawn told her story; she was grateful that there weren’t any interruptions for the most part, although Spike made a comment about a knife in the back not being enough for Ray, and there were several startled exclamations when Dawn described Andrus’ attack.

 

“Well, it’s certainly a good thing that you were there, Bracken,” Giles said once Dawn had ended with their appearance in the training room of the Magic Box.

 

“I’ll second that,” Buffy said fervently. She gave Dawn a severe look. “You could have waited a little longer.”

 

Dawn glared at her. “I didn’t know when you guys were going to show up, and I didn’t want to be there when Ray’s buyer arrived.”

 

“You made a judgment call, Bit,” Spike said. “That’s about all you can do in a situation like that, and it looks like it worked out for the best.”

 

“It did,” Tara said softly. “And now we won’t have to worry about Ray coming after Dawn.” She smiled at the girl. “That helps.”

 

Xander frowned. “Is that the only other person who knows about Dawn being the Key? Rack’s dead, and so are the other creeps.”

 

“There was another guy who grabbed me for Rack,” Dawn said, “but I haven’t seen him since then.”

 

Spike frowned. “I can check around. Wouldn’t do to leave a loose end like that.”

 

“For now, however, I think you might be safe,” Giles said.

 

“Same rules go, Dawnie,” Buffy said. “No opening portals without someone there with you.”

 

“What about Bracken?” Dawn asked.

 

Spike shrugged. “Buffy told the doctor that he’s living with me, and I’ve got the extra room.” He raised an eyebrow. “Long as he doesn’t mind.”

 

Dawn looked over at Bracken, who was sitting next to her on the couch, looking like he was trying to make himself as small as possible—not an easy task. While he might have been smaller than Andrus and his friends, Bracken had several inches on her. “Thank you,” was all he would say. Dawn was beginning to realize that he was really shy, particularly around people he didn’t know.

 

“You’re definitely not going to be out on the street,” Buffy said firmly. “After what you did for Dawn, you know you’ve got a place here for as long as you want.”

 

Bracken managed a smile for her then. “Thank you,” he repeated.

 

Dawn just sat a little closer to him. Although she’d only known him for a short while, she liked him—as a friend, of course. She didn’t like the thought of him going back to a world where he was in danger from jerks like Andrus.

 

Not that they weren’t in danger from various people in Sunnydale, but at least Bracken wouldn’t be alone here. Dawn knew how important it was not to be alone.

 

~~~~~

 

“I don’t suppose you can stay here tonight,” Buffy sighed, not liking the idea of Spike going back to his apartment. They’d been spending a lot of nights together recently, and Buffy was getting used to having him around constantly. It wouldn’t be long before he’d be moving in, however.

 

Of course, now they would have to figure out what to do with Bracken once Spike did move in.

 

“Better not,” Spike said apologetically. “Doesn’t seem right to drop the kid off and then leave him on his own.”

 

“He seems nice,” Buffy said. Xander had already left with Anya, Tara, and Willow, since he was giving them a ride home. Giles was doing some research in the dining room, and Dawn was introducing Bracken to the miracle of television. It was a relief to have her sister home and safe.

 

Spike nodded. “Quiet, though. Dunno what we’re going to do with him on a long-term basis, but he killed that bastard, and he might come in handy.”

 

Buffy shrugged. “We’ll make it work. Dawn told me that she promised to send him back if he asked, but after what she told us, I’m kind of hoping he doesn’t ask. It doesn’t sound like a very nice place.”

 

Spike touched her cheek. “Doesn’t mean that it isn’t home.”

 

“And isn’t that the truth?” Buffy asked rhetorically. “It’s probably a little like living in Sunnydale.” They shared a kiss. “See you tomorrow?”

 

“Soon as I can get over here,” Spike promised.

 

Buffy watched him go, wondering how Bracken would get along with him. Spike could be sensitive—when he wanted to be. Other times, he had the tendency to rile someone up just because he could.

 

Watching as Bracken said goodbye to Dawn, Buffy could tell that they’d already gotten attached to one another, and she could understand why they might. She still remembered her first meeting with Willow and Xander, and fighting vampires together; there had been an instant bond that came from going through a very scary situation and coming out together on the other side.

 

“What do you think?” Dawn asked as soon as the door had closed behind them.

 

Buffy raised her eyebrows. “About what?”

 

“Bracken!” Dawn said impatiently.

 

Buffy smiled. “Isn’t it a little early to have a crush on him?”

 

Dawn glared at her sister. “I don’t have a crush on him. It’s not like that.”  


Buffy couldn’t resist teasing a little bit. “Then what is it like?”

 

“He—he saved me,” Dawn said, looking a little uncomfortable. “One minute, I thought that Ray was going to…”

 

Buffy frowned. Dawn had left that part out of her story; all she’d said was that Ray had followed her through the portal and threatened to hurt her. “What did you think he was going to do?”

 

“I don’t know.” Buffy gave Dawn her best “big sister” look. “I don’t know. It was scary. I thought he was going to hurt me, and then Bracken was just there. I don’t want him to go back.”

 

Buffy was sympathetic. “I don’t know that it’s up to you, Dawn. He seems like a nice guy, and as far as I’m concerned, he can stay as long as he wants, but it’s a big change for him. Bracken might decide that he doesn’t like it here.”

 

“But he might like it,” Dawn countered. “If he does, can he stay?”

 

“We’ll figure it out,” Buffy promised. “If Bracken wants to stay, we’ll make it work.”

 

Dawn nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. “Thanks.”

 

Buffy pulled Dawn into her arms, needing the tangible reassurance of her sister’s safety. There hadn’t been time for this before. “You did a really good job, Dawnie,” Buffy said. “I’m proud of you.”

 

She felt Dawn clutch at her. “Thanks, Buffy.”


	14. Council Business

**“If this should end tomorrow/All our best laid plans/and all our typical fears/Am I running out of lifetimes?/This is not the first time/something ends in just tears./But tomorrow I can’t imagine/How am I supposed to know/what’s yet to go down?/Is there only one religion/The kind that whispers/when nobody comes around/The world can wait/the world can wait/I want to drink the water from your well/I want to tell you things I’ll never tell/The world can wait/The world can wait/I’m wide awake/and the world can wait.” ~Over the Rhine, “The World Can Wait”**

 

Mothering was instinctual for Tara. It was partly due to the fact that she had taken care of her father and Donny after her mother’s death—and they had needed a lot of looking after—but she also enjoyed it. Tara liked cooking, and she liked taking care of people and things. Knowing how Bracken was probably feeling, having been a stranger in a strange land herself, led Tara to show up at Spike’s door early the next morning, Merlin under one arm and a hot breakfast casserole under the other.

 

Bracken was the one to open the door, and she saw the hesitation in his eyes. “Here,” she said, holding Merlin out, knowing that there were few who could resist a purring kitten.

 

He wasn’t among the few apparently, because he immediately cradled Merlin, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “What is it?”

 

“That’s a kitten,” Tara replied. “Are you hungry?”

 

Bracken shook his head. “I’m fine.”

 

Tara knew how much food a young man his age normally ate. Her brother could have eaten all day and not been full. “I hope that you can eat,” she observed. “Because I don’t think that potato sausage casserole is up Spike’s alley.”

 

Bracken’s eyes were on the covered dish, even as he scratched Merlin behind his ears. “I don’t want to be any trouble.”

 

“It’s no trouble,” Spike said, coming out of his bedroom, his damp hair giving away where he’d been. “We don’t let people go hungry around here.”

 

Bracken nodded slowly. “Then I can eat.”

 

Spike snorted. “I’ll bet.”  


Tara gave the vampire a stern look. “Be nice, Spike. Sit, Bracken.”

 

He sat down obediently, still holding Merlin—at least until Spike took the kitten from him. “You’ll need your attention for breakfast, lad.”

 

Tara dished up on the plate she’d already found; she knew her way around Spike’s kitchen. She could see Bracken trying to restrain himself, eating slowly as though he was used to savoring every bite. Tara was only halfway through with her breakfast by the time he’d cleaned his plate, however, and she dished up a second helping without asking, knowing that he would probably refuse out of some mistaken sense of courtesy.

 

“Thank you,” he said, before falling on the second plate with the same restrained desperation. By the third helping, Bracken was finally beginning to slow down, looking satiated. He flushed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

 

“Bracken, I brought the casserole by for you. There’s no need to apologize.” Tara made sure that her tone was gentle.

 

Spike chuckled. “Better listen to her, Bracken. Tara’s queen of the kitchen among us.”

 

Bracken ducked his head. “Thank you,” he repeated. “It was very good.”

 

Tara nodded, satisfied. “Good. I’ll just put the rest in Spike’s fridge for tomorrow.” She was thankful that she’d gone ahead and made a full batch, because Bracken had eaten close to half the pan on his own.

 

She smiled to herself. It looked like she was going to have another person to cook for, and since he was such an appreciative partaker, Tara didn’t mind a bit.

 

~~~~~

 

Giles frowned, seeing the van driving past the Magic Box for what seemed the third time that day. He was sure it was the same one, and it was starting to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

 

The phone in the store rang, and he pushed thoughts of the mysterious van to the back of his mind. “The Magic Box, Giles speaking. How may I help you?”

 

“Is she still going through with it?”

 

Giles recognized Travers’ voice immediately, and the chill returned. “Buffy has to make her own decision, Quentin,” he responded, his voice cold. “I suggest you not interfere.”

 

“I see.” There was a pause. “I had hoped that it wouldn’t come to this, Rupert.”

 

The line went dead, and Giles immediately dialed Buffy’s number. “Summers’ residence,” came Dawn’s cheerful response.

 

“Is your sister there, Dawn?”

 

“Giles?”

 

“It’s me. Where’s Buffy?”

 

“She left to go to the store,” Dawn replied. “What’s wrong? What’s going on, Giles?”

 

Giles bit his tongue, not wanting to frighten the girl more than necessary. “Perhaps nothing. Has Spike shown up yet today?”

 

“Not yet,” Dawn said. “He’s supposed to bring Bracken over soon, though. Do you want him to call you?”

 

“Please,” Giles said. “And tell your sister to do the same as soon as she gets home. I need to speak with her on an urgent matter.”

 

Giles took a deep breath once he’d hung up the phone. Surely Travers wouldn’t do anything stupid; they had tried to hold Faith—for a much greater offense—and that had not turned out well for anyone involved. It would behoove the man to remember that the Council acted on the behalf of the Slayer, and not the other way around.

 

Not that Giles actually expected Travers to believe that.

 

He hesitated, then dialed Nigel’s number. “Nigel?”

 

“Rupert? What’s wrong?”

 

“I just received a rather disturbing phone call from Quentin Travers,” Giles replied. “Have you heard anything?”

 

Giles could hear the pause. “I’m not certain,” Nigel hedged. “But Travers held a closed door meeting last week, and there are rumors that the special team will be busy for the next few weeks.”

 

“Bloody hell,” Giles muttered, not liking the sound of that at all. “Thank you, Nigel.”

 

“If he touches one hair on your Slayer’s head, Travers is done on the Council,” Nigel said in a fierce, low voice. “There are enough of us who are agreed on that. We do not take out Slayers who are actively guarding a Hellmouth, but he must make the first move.”

 

Giles understood, but he didn’t like the idea. It was possible that Buffy would repel any attack that Travers might throw her way, and the entire business could be quietly taken care of. It was also entirely possible for something to go horribly wrong.

 

“Thank you, Nigel,” Giles said. “I’ll let you know if anything happens.”

 

He hung up the phone, pulling off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. He had a feeling that things were about to get very interesting.

 

~~~~~

 

Anya stared at Xander in disbelief. “What?”

 

“Let’s go,” he said. “I said we would after Dawn was back, right? You have the day off, I’ve already taken the weekend, and we wouldn’t have to be back until Tuesday.”

 

“The shop,” Anya protested weakly, knowing that she wasn’t putting up much of a fight. In truth, she didn’t want to; she just wanted to know how hard Xander was going to push.

 

“Call Giles from the road,” Xander replied, grinning like a kid. “Play hooky. He’s not going to fire you.”

 

That was true; Giles wouldn’t fire her. Anya couldn’t help but think that they shouldn’t leave town, particularly since she couldn’t shake the feeling that more trouble was on the way. On the other hand, maybe that was exactly why they should leave now, before anything could come up. If they waited, and the Hellmouth happened—as it always did—she might never get married to Xander.

 

And Anya _wanted_ to be married to Xander.

 

“Okay. Give me a minute to pack.” It didn’t take her long to grab what she needed; she knew how to travel light when she needed to, and Anya had a feeling that once they’d tied the knot, she and Xander were going to be spending most of their time in bed.

 

Once her suitcase was packed, Anya quickly dialed the Magic Box, leaving a message when Giles didn’t pick up. “Giles, this is Anya. Xander and I are going away for the weekend, but I’ll be back on Monday. I’m sorry about the short notice.”

 

“Are you going to call anyone to let them know?” Anya asked him as she locked up.

 

Xander shrugged. “I’ll call later, once we’ve visited the wedding chapel.”

 

Anya gave him a sharp look. “We’re not getting married by an Elvis impersonator.”

 

For a moment, she thought that he was going to argue, but he shut his mouth with a snap. “Okay, no Elvis impersonators. Anything else I need to know?”

 

Anya stopped in the middle of the sidewalk as they headed for Xander’s car. “Are we really doing this, Xander?”

 

He smiled at her, holding out his free hand, her suitcase hanging from the other. “We’re really doing this, An. When we get back, we’ll be Mr. and Mrs. Harris.”

 

Anya took his hand, deciding that she would take him at his word. In just a few days, she would have what she really wanted, even though she wouldn’t have her dream wedding.

 

Sometimes, she knew, a person had to be willing to compromise to get what they _really_ wanted.

 

~~~~~

 

Willow smiled at Callie. “Good job.”

 

Callie beamed. “Thank you, Ms. Rosenberg!”

 

Willow had learned that it didn’t take much to make some of her students happy, whereas others seemed to complain about everything. It was a mix of good and bad, but she was still enjoying herself. She’d already arranged to change her major to secondary education when she went back to UC Sunnydale, and her parents had taken the news well.

 

Better than they’d taken the news about her having a girlfriend, that was for sure.

 

“Willow?”

 

She glanced up to see Buffy standing in the doorway of her classroom. “What’s up, Buffy? Is everything okay?”

 

Buffy was just beginning to look pregnant, although it was a small enough bump that it was easily hidden. “Everything is fine. I just thought I’d let you know that we’re having a baby shower thing next week. Dawn’s supposed to be putting it together, but I think Bracken is presenting a distraction.”

 

Willow hid a smile. “I can understand that.”

 

Buffy grimaced. “He seems like a nice guy, but Dawn’s really into him. It worries me.”

 

Unable to help the snicker that escaped, Willow quickly composed herself. “I’m sure Dawn’s going to be responsible about everything, Buffy.”

 

Buffy glared at her. “What?”

 

“Buffy, if you were Dawn, and there was a cute guy you felt responsible for, would you be acting any differently?”

 

“No,” Buffy admitted with a reluctant smile. “I don’t blame her, but it worries me. We don’t even know if Bracken is going to stay.”

 

“Has he said anything about leaving?” Willow asked, frowning. “Why would he want to go back, after what Dawn told us?”

 

“It’s still his home,” Buffy replied. “I think Spike’s going to put him to work, helping set up the nursery, and Xander said that he might be able to find a spot for him on his crew. Maybe once he gets settled in, Bracken will decide that this dimension is better.”

 

Willow nodded. “He might.” She shut down her computer. “You want to get something to eat? I was too busy to stop for lunch today.”

 

“Are you kidding?” Buffy asked. “I’ve been eating for _three_ people the last week. I’m always hungry.”

 

Willow smiled. “I’ve heard that’s normal.”

 

“At least the medicine the doctor gave me is keeping the nausea under control,” Buffy responded.

 

The bright California sunshine was pleasant after a day spent inside, and Willow lifted her face to the warmth.

 

“It’s good to have you home, Will.”

 

Buffy’s words were a surprise, but not an unpleasant one. “It’s good to be home. I’m just glad you’re still willing to be my friend after what I did.”

 

Buffy shrugged. “We’ve all done some pretty crappy things, and it’s turned out okay.”

 

Willow nodded, not knowing what else to say. Most days, she still felt as though she was waiting for the other shoe to drop, like she’d gotten off too lightly for her actions and there was more karma coming her way.

 

It wasn’t a comfortable feeling.

 

~~~~~

 

“Is anyone here?”

 

“We’re up here, Giles!” Dawn called, poking her head out of what had been her room.

 

The Watcher mounted the stairs, frowning as he caught sight of the furniture in the hallway. “What is going on?”

 

“We’re moving things around,” Spike replied. “What’s it look like?”

 

Giles glared at him. “I can see _that_. Why are you moving things?”

 

“For the nursery,” Dawn replied. “Buffy said that I could have my room or hers, so I’m taking her old one. We have to paint, and then we’ll get furniture. I hope you don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”

 

“Step aside,” Spike warned, as he and Bracken carried Dawn’s old dresser out and headed down the stairs. “We’ll put this in the basement, and then we’ll be back. Figure out what desk you want, Nibblet!”

 

Dawn rolled her eyes. “He’s been bossy all morning.”

 

“Someone has to get things moving or the kid will be grown before he’s got a room!” Spike called up the stairs.

 

Dawn always forgot how well Spike could hear. “He’s been like that since he got here today. I think he’s getting really excited about the baby. I tried to tell him that Bracken was supposed to be resting, but Bracken said he was fine.” Dawn’s eye roll told Giles exactly what she thought about that. “So, what’s up?”

 

Giles sighed. “I was hoping to speak with your sister.”

 

“She went to see Willow,” Dawn replied. “I think she wants to put a lo-jack on me.”

 

“A what?” Giles asked, bemused, watching as she gathered an armful of clothing from the closet.

 

“A lo-jack,” Dawn replied. “You know, like a tracking device? Buffy would like to be able to find me no matter where I am, but I don’t think that’s possible, not when there are as many dimensions as Anya says.”

 

“I see.”

 

She caught a worried note in his voice, and Dawn frowned as she brushed past him. “What’s wrong, Giles?”

 

“I just spoke with one of my contacts on the Council,” he admitted. “I wanted to talk to Buffy about it.”

 

“She should be back in time for dinner,” Spike said, coming up the stairs. “Which desk, Dawn?”

 

“Mine,” Dawn said. “You can move Buffy’s downstairs.”

 

“What are you doing with the old furniture?” Giles asked.

 

Spike shrugged. “Up to the Slayer, innit? You alright there, Bracken? Your ribs okay?”

 

“Yes, thank you,” the young man replied politely, picking up the other end of the desk.

 

Giles blinked. “What exactly brought this on?”

 

“Buffy’s over four months pregnant,” Spike pointed out on his way down the stairs. “It’s half over, and we haven’t even started getting a room ready. What if the little nipper shows up early?”

 

Dawn smirked. “I told you he was getting excited. You want to help?”

 

Giles had a feeling that he didn’t have a choice. “Have you heard from Xander or Anya?” he asked.

 

Dawn frowned. “No. Is something up with them?”

 

“Anya called the Magic Box while I was out getting lunch and said that she and Xander were going away for the weekend and would be back on Monday.” He sounded rather disgruntled. “It was most mysterious.

 

Dawn raised her eyebrows. “Do you think they went off to Vegas?”

 

“Who?” Spike asked.

 

“Xander and Anya,” Dawn said.

 

“Why would they do that?”

 

“They left town for the weekend,” Giles explained. “At least, that’s what Anya’s message said.”

 

Spike smirked. “Vegas seems like a good bet.”

 

Bracken frowned. “Vegas?”

 

Dawn took him by the arm. “Come on, and I’ll explain. I’ve got to get my bookshelves set up again, and you’re supposed to be resting anyway. Giles can help Spike finish up.” She couldn’t help the evil grin that formed, knowing how much Spike enjoyed winding Giles up, particularly when he was in his current mood.

 

It had been a fun afternoon so far; Dawn just wished that Tara hadn’t needed to rush off to her work-study job. Bracken seemed to really like her.

 

~~~~~

 

“Do you think the Council will try something?” Buffy asked incredulously. “I haven’t done anything wrong! It’s not like when Faith killed somebody.” Giles had waited until just before they were heading out on patrol to talk to them. Willow had long gone home, although Bracken was still there by necessity. The last Buffy had seen them, Dawn was about to introduce him to movies and popcorn.

 

“Easy, luv,” Spike said.

 

Giles nodded his agreement. “Now is not the time to be getting upset,” he agreed, looking at the slight bulge in her abdomen significantly.

 

Buffy sighed. “Okay, guys. The coddling isn’t going to work for me. I’ve still got five months to go, and it’s going to get old fast.”

 

“Fine,” Spike shot back. “Forgive us for wanting to keep you safe.”

 

Buffy sighed, knowing that Giles and Spike were just trying to help. “Okay, you’re right. There’s no point in getting upset about something when there’s nothing I can do. What do you know for sure, Giles?”

 

“All I’m certain of is that the Council team normally dispatched to take care of their dirty work has been assigned to a task, the nature of which was a mystery to Nigel.” Giles shook his head. “That alone would concern me, but there are rumors that Travers is unhappy about your decision, Buffy.”

 

“I got that when he called,” she said dryly. “So what, though? He hasn’t been thrilled with other choices I’ve made, but he’s never sent assassins after me.”

 

Giles was silent for a long moment. “Vampires do not have children in the normal way.”

 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Buffy said impatiently. “Giles—”

 

“Buffy.” Spike laid a hand over hers. “He’s saying that they don’t know what your kid is going to be. They don’t even know if it’s going to be human.”

 

“There is every reason to believe that your child is human, Buffy,” Giles said soothingly, shooting Spike a look. “But Spike is right. The Council is likely to act to take control.”

 

“What can we do?” Spike asked, his tone serious.

 

Giles shook his head. “Nothing, I’m afraid, other than keep a close lookout. The Council’s team is very good at what they do, and while they will likely try to catch Buffy alone, they won’t hesitate to take you out as well, Spike.”

 

“The question is if they want me alive or dead,” Buffy said, feeling a chill run up her spine. Neither possibility was a pleasant one.

 

“My guess would be alive,” Giles stated. “I think they’ll wait to see what kind of threat your child presents.”

 

“And if there is no threat?” Buffy asked. “They’re not just going to let me go.”

 

“No,” Giles agreed softly. “That’s why I think it imperative that you not be caught in the first place.”

 

“We can talk to Red,” Spike said. “About a protection spell for the house. Maybe for the baby, too.”

 

Buffy nodded. “Yeah, and until then, we’ll just be extra careful.”

 

“Think you should have somebody with you when you leave the house,” Spike said slowly, obviously knowing how much Buffy was going to hate his suggestion. “They might hesitate to try something if you’ve got someone with you.”

 

Buffy didn’t like the idea, but she knew Spike was right, and she was beginning to realize that she had to think of her child before herself. Maybe she didn’t like the idea of needing a bodyguard, but Buffy would deal with it if it meant that her baby would be safe.

 

“Okay,” she said slowly. “And we talk to Willow about the protection spell for the house. But Giles, I don’t want to spend the next five months looking over my shoulder for the Council’s goons. We need to get this taken care of before they try something, if at all possible.”

 

“I’ll do what I can,” Giles promised.

 

Buffy knew that he would, but she was deeply afraid that he would not be successful, and that the Council would manage to get through her defenses. She was just getting used to the idea of being a mother, and the thought of losing her child made her blood run cold.

 

There was no way that the Council was going to harm her child.


	15. Limitations

**“I will be the answer/At the end of the line/I will be there for you/While you take the time/In the burning of uncertainty/I will be your solid ground/I will hold the balance/If you can’t look down/If it takes my whole life/I won’t break, I won’t bend/It will all be worth it/Worth it in the end…” ~Sarah McLachlan, “Answer”**

 

Willow frowned, considering Buffy’s request. Buffy had invited her over to discuss protection spells. Willow wanted nothing more than to be able to tell her friend that she could wave a magic wand and prevent anyone from hurting either her child or entering the house. Unfortunately, it wasn’t quite so easy.

 

“I don’t think I can do much with the house, Buffy,” Willow said slowly.

 

“You did a protection spell against Glory, right?” Spike pressed, leaning forward. “Shouldn’t you be able to do the same thing for the Council?”

 

Buffy put a hand on his arm, an unspoken warning to keep his cool. “Spike.”

 

“Glory was a little different,” Willow pointed out. “Technically, Glory was inherently magical; she was a Hellgod tied to a human body. You can do protection spells that will sound an alarm when something like that enters your house. You can’t really do the same thing for humans.”

 

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re saying that such a spell wouldn’t distinguish between different humans.”

 

Willow shrugged. “Pretty much. I might be able to work something out with a little time, but it would have to be a spell that wouldn’t go off every time that Giles, for example, walked in the door.”

 

“What about the baby?” Buffy asked. “Is there anything you can do there?”

 

“That’s different,” Willow acknowledged. “I think I can come up with a spell that would prevent any outside source of harm.” She hesitated. “There are limitations, of course. If you were to be exposed to some sort of chemical, or drug, that could still harm the baby. But I might be able to make it so that no one could, you know, hurt it.”

 

Spike frowned. “What do you mean?”

 

“She could still miscarry,” Willow said gently. “If Buffy were to get hit in the stomach, or something like that, it could be very bad for the baby. Since she’s the Slayer, there’s probably less chance of that, but it’s still a possibility.”

 

Buffy looked a little pale. “So, slaying might not be a good idea, huh?”

 

“Been trying to tell you that,” Spike muttered. “You just didn’t want to hear it.”

 

Willow shrugged. “I don’t know, Buffy. Accidents happen, though, and it’s always a risk when you go out. You know that.”

 

“Can you work out a protection spell?” Giles asked.

 

Willow nodded. “I’ll give it my best shot, but I don’t want to do anything that’s going to interfere with the baby’s growth. That’s always the problem with spells like that; there are often unintended consequences.”

 

She glanced over at Spike to see his blue eyes warm. “Think you’ve got the right of it, Red.”

 

“We trust you, Will,” Buffy finally said. “I know you’ll do what you can.”

 

Willow nodded, knowing that she was going to be in for a long night, researching spells. Just the fact that Buffy had said she trusted her was enough. She no longer needed acclaim or to be viewed as being the best. If Willow had her friends’ trust, she could be content.

 

~~~~~

 

“Red, wait!” Spike called as Willow went down the front walk.

 

She half-turned, frowning. “Is there something wrong?”

 

“Thought I’d offer you a ride,” Spike said.

 

Willow shrugged. “It’s a nice night, and I don’t mind walking.”

 

“Humor me,” he suggested.

 

“Okay,” she agreed with a smile.

 

Spike climbed into the Desoto, waiting for Willow to swing herself into the passenger side. “Wanted to ask you for a favor.”

 

Willow eyed him warily. “I owe you,” she acknowledged. “If there’s something I can do for you, I will.”

 

He’d been thinking about this for the last couple of days, ever since Dawn had turned up safe. Buffy hadn’t discouraged him from removing the chip, although she had asked him to wait; Spike thought that was mostly due to her fear that the chip’s removal would cause him physical harm. If Willow could remove it, though, that might mean less risk than if he went to a doctor.

 

“I want you to find a way to remove the chip,” Spike said. “Or disable it. Don’t really care which. And before you ask, it’s not about wanting to hunt humans again; I just want to be able to protect what’s mine.”

 

Willow’s eyes widened. “Spike, I don’t think I can do that. I can’t go behind Buffy’s back and—”

 

He cut her off impatiently. “I wouldn’t do that. Already talked to her, and she said after Dawn got back we could look into it, but the guy that snatched the Bit was human. The Council bastards are human. What the bloody hell am I supposed to do if they make a play for Buffy? They could stake me and snatch her, and I wouldn’t be able to do sod all.”

 

He could see his words strike home as Willow nodded slowly. “You’re right. I still want to talk to Buffy about this, though. Not that I think you’re lying,” she hastened to assure him. “I just want to be sure she’s okay with me splitting my time like that. I’m supposed to be working on a protection spell, too.”

 

“The kid comes first,” Spike said softly in agreement. “That goes without saying. And you can talk to the Slayer all you like, but I want you to look into it. Could be that this is my best option for making sure there’s nothing that’s going to prevent me from protecting my own.”

 

Willow took a deep breath. “You got it.”

 

“Thanks, Red.”

 

“I owe you,” Willow replied quietly. “I meant that. And I’ll do whatever I can to make sure Buffy stays safe, even if it means removing your chip.”

 

Spike nodded. “Appreciate that.”

 

“But I’m going to talk to Buffy first,” Willow continued. “I lost her trust once; there’s no way I’ll risk doing that again.”

 

“Fair enough,” Spike allowed. “You’ll let me know what you decide?”

 

“I will.”

 

Spike pulled up in front of Xander’s apartment building. “What are you gonna do when Xander and the missus get back?” he asked.

 

Willow sighed. “Look for a new place, I guess. The job should help with that.”

 

Spike nodded. “You know, if Bracken sticks around, he’s probably going to need a babysitter for a while.”

 

Willow’s eyes widened. “What?”

 

“Just think about it,” Spike said. “Might be a way to solve all our problems at once.”

 

“I’ll think about it,” Willow promised. “Good night, Spike.”

 

Spike nodded, watching to be sure she made it into the building safely. He’d suspected that she would insist on going to Buffy before taking any steps to remove the chip, and he didn’t blame her. In fact, Willow’s reluctance to strike out on her own made him feel a lot better about how far she’d come in the short time she’d been with the coven. It was apparent that she no longer felt that she was capable of making the big decisions that would affect everyone without input from anybody else, and that could only be an improvement in Spike’s estimation.

 

He just hoped that she came around to his way of thinking. Spike would much prefer it if Willow could remove the chip without opening up his skull. The last thing he wanted was to be incapacitated when Buffy needed him most.

 

And while Spike was hopeful that they would be able to repel any attack the Council made on the Slayer, he wanted to be prepared for the worst.

 

It was the Hellmouth, after all.

 

~~~~~

 

“So, how is living with Spike?” Dawn asked Bracken idly. Buffy had been giving her meaningful looks, probably because it was way past her bedtime, but she wasn’t ready to go to sleep. Not when Bracken had to wait for Spike to return from dropping Willow off. She’d suggested they sit out on the back porch, where they could be alone, thinking that being outside might help Bracken feel at home again.

 

Dawn thought that Spike would probably choose to spend the night, which would probably mean that Bracken would be on the couch, since Giles was still using the bed in the spare room.

 

“It’s nice,” Bracken replied, sounding sincere. “He’s been very kind.”

 

“Really?” Dawn wasn’t _too_ surprised, given that Bracken had saved her life, but Spike could be rough and insensitive at times. On the other hand, if Bracken was comparing the vampire to Andrus, Spike came off looking like a saint.

 

“Yes.” Bracken glanced over at her. “You seem surprised.”

 

“Not really,” Dawn admitted. “It’s just that sometimes he isn’t very nice, and sometimes he is. It kind of depends on if he likes you or not.”

 

“Your friends have all been kind,” Bracken assured her.

 

“You’re a likeable guy,” Dawn responded, flushing a little as the words left her mouth. How much more obvious could she be that she liked him?

 

She had to wonder how things were going to work out with Bracken staying—if he decided to stay. Would Giles be able to get him proper paperwork? Or would Spike do it? Xander had said he might be able to hire him, but that assumed that working construction was something that Bracken enjoyed doing. If he didn’t, would he choose to go back to Pylea?

 

Dawn understood about the pull of home; even though the Hellmouth sucked sometimes, Sunnydale was definitely home.

 

“These men that are after your sister,” Bracken began. “Are they the same men who were after you?”

 

“No, we’ve got our own enemies this time,” Dawn replied, feeling a sort of satisfaction at that, even though she knew it was insane. At the same time, however, it felt like the first time that she wasn’t just viewed as “the Slayer’s little sister.” Dawn was important because of who and what _she_ was, and it had nothing to do with Buffy.

 

Okay, so she wouldn’t even _be_ Buffy’s sister if Buffy hadn’t been the Slayer, but that was besides the point.

 

“You have more enemies than anyone I have ever met,” Bracken observed.

 

Dawn frowned. “Really?”

 

“I only had Andrus,” Bracken said. “And in my world, there are only two sides. This is much more complex.”

 

Bracken hadn’t spoken much about his family, and Dawn found that she was curious. She wondered if Andrus was representative of the rest of them, or merely an aberration. “Do you get along with your parents?” she asked.

 

He shrugged. “I suppose. They have many others to feed, however, and I am not so important. Andrus was always the one who brought extra food or money or clothing.”

 

“But you hunted, right?” Dawn pressed, remembering what he’d told her about the clearing he’d led her to. “I mean, it’s not like you didn’t do anything.”

 

“It was never enough.” Bracken sighed. “There were always too many mouths to feed, Dawn. I did what I could, but…”

 

“It wasn’t enough,” she finished for him.

 

“Dawn?”

 

Buffy’s voice broke into their conversation, and Dawn sighed. “Yeah?”

 

“Spike’s ready to head out.”

 

It was an unsubtle reminder that it was time for Bracken to leave.

 

“I should go as well,” Bracken said, taking the hint.

 

Dawn smiled at him. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ve got to finish planning Buffy’s baby shower, and you can help with that.”

 

He frowned. “A ‘baby shower’?”

 

Dawn smiled. “You know, to help her get ready for the baby. It’s a party.” Bracken still looked confused, and she took pity on him, squeezing his arm. “It’s probably one of those things you have to experience to fully understand.”

 

“I’ll look forward to it, then,” he said, looking down at her.

 

For a moment, Dawn really thought that he might kiss her, but Buffy called again, “Dawn!”

 

“We’re coming!” She looked up at him, but the moment had passed, and Bracken wore his carefully neutral expression once again. Dawn now recognized that look—the one he wore so that no one would know what he was thinking or feeling.

 

He hadn’t been that guarded around her in his own dimension, but she wondered if that wasn’t because he was on his own turf; now that he was a stranger in a strange land, things were different.

 

“Good night, Dawn,” he said softly, then headed inside.

 

Dawn sighed and followed him in. It only figured that the guy she was really attracted to would be from another dimension, and would possibly not want to stay in Sunnydale.

 

She just hoped that she didn’t have to go through a few guys before getting one like Spike, who would stick around.

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy sighed as she rolled over, the bed feeling much too large without Spike taking up the other half. She knew he’d be moving in soon, but it wasn’t soon enough in her estimation, not when there were still nights where she was forced to sleep alone.

 

She tossed and turned for a couple of hours before finally drifting off into a restless doze.

 

Buffy found herself walking along a corridor lined with identical doors. She felt her heart begin to race, and she moved faster, running down the hallway. She was dressed in her pajamas, the tiled floor cold beneath her bare feet. She was trying to find something, but she couldn’t remember what.

 

No, not what—who.

 

Buffy stopped, putting a hand on her abdomen, which was now flat, the small bump that had been growing almost daily completely gone. “No,” she whispered.

 

She whirled, looking at the featureless doors, going to the nearest one. The handle turned easily, and she looked inside, seeing a crib. Dashing over, Buffy looked down to find it empty. She ran out of the room, heading to the door across the hall and repeating her actions. Once again, all she could find was an empty crib.

 

“It’s no use.” The voice came out of nowhere, and Buffy looked around wildly to see the figure of a man, his face in shadow. “You won’t find him here.”

 

“Him?” Buffy echoed.

 

“Congratulations, it’s a boy,” the voice replied, sneering.

 

“Where is he?” she demanded.

 

The man stepped into the light and she recognized Quentin Travers. “Where he can do no harm. I will not suffer a monster like that to live.”

 

She woke with a gasp, sitting straight up in bed. The dream was so disorienting that Buffy didn’t immediately realize that there was someone else in the room with her.

 

And by the time she did, it was too late.

 

~~~~~

 

Tara frowned as she looked through the peephole, surprised to get a visitor this early in the morning. She’d had a late afternoon class, and then a study session right afterwards, but she’d known that if there was an emergency, someone would have called her.

 

She opened the door to Willow. “What’s up?”

 

“I wanted to know if you’d help me,” Willow said quietly. “Buffy and Spike asked me to help them find a protection spell for the house and the baby, but I don’t know how to make either work.”

 

Tara nodded slowly. “Sure, come in.”

 

Willow stepped inside, looking around slowly. “This is nice.”

 

“It is,” Tara replied, realizing that Willow had never been inside her apartment before.

 

“Mrrorw,” Merlin said imperiously from her feet, obviously impatient for his breakfast.

 

Tara smiled. “Let me feed him, and then we can get started.” She wasn’t sure how she felt about Willow being in her apartment; Tara was uncomfortable with the idea, although not because she thought that Willow would try something untoward.

 

It was simply very awkward.

 

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Willow suggested. “Like the Magic Box? Most of the books are there anyway.”

 

Tara wondered if Willow had sensed her unease, or if she felt the same way. “That might be a good idea. I don’t know what books I have here that would be of help.”

 

Willow nodded. “Okay.”

 

“Didn’t you have school today?” Tara asked.

 

“It’s a plan day for the teachers,” Willow explained. “I got my planning done last night.”

 

Tara frowned. “How late were you up?”

 

“I didn’t go to bed,” Willow admitted ruefully. “Spike asked me for a favor, too, and I wanted to look into that a little bit before I went to sleep. It turned out that it’s a pretty interesting spell.”

 

“What spell?” Tara asked, wondering what Spike would want with magic. He wasn’t the biggest fan of the black arts, that was for sure.

 

Willow hesitated, obviously uncertain of whether she had overstepped her bounds by mentioning it. “To get the chip out. He’s worried about the Council, and not being able to protect Buffy and the baby. He said he’d already talked to her about it, and I’ll talk to Buffy before I do anything, but—”

 

Tara shook her head. “I think it should be Spike’s decision.”

 

Willow’s eyes widened. “You do?”

 

“He’s the one who’s going to have to live with the temptation,” Tara pointed out reasonably. “Besides, we’ve talked about it a couple of times—what would happen if the chip ever stopped working. I don’t think he’d hurt anyone, not unless it was in defense of Buffy or Dawn or himself.”

 

“Or you,” Willow observed. “He’s close to you.”

 

“He’s been really nice to me,” Tara said, feeling a little defensive.

 

Willow shrugged. “I’m glad he’s been there for you, Tara. I know that I really screwed up.”

 

If anything, Willow’s apology only made Tara more uncomfortable. She didn’t hate the other woman, or even harbor ill will. Their relationship had not worked out, and Tara wondered if that hadn’t been as much her fault as Willow’s. After all, Tara had stayed quiet for a long time about Willow’s more troubling tendencies where it concerned magic. Maybe if she’d spoken up sooner, or been stronger in her opposition, things would have worked out.

 

Maybe if she’d refused to go along with Willow’s plan to resurrect Buffy, their relationship might have survived.

 

Tara couldn’t regret the fact that Buffy was alive, however.

 

“It’s done now,” Tara replied, her voice low. “We just have to move on.”

 

“I know.” Willow met her eyes, the sorrow in her gaze nearly tangible. “I know, Tara.”

 

Tara realized that she _did_ know, and somehow that made things easier.


	16. A Hostage to Fortune

**“Got to feel woke up inside again/Got to feel less broke more fixed/Got to feel when I got outside myself/Got to feel when I touched your lips/The things we do to the people that we love/The way we break when there’s something we can’t take/Destroy the world that we took so long to make/We expect her gone for some time/I wish her safe from harm…” ~Bush, “The People That We Love”**

 

Dawn wasn’t too surprised to see that Buffy’s bedroom door was closed when she woke up. She’d been trying to get herself up and off to school, since her sister needed more sleep these days with the pregnancy. Spike had given her a very serious lecture on the need to make things as easy on Buffy as possible, and that included letting her sleep in.

 

Of course, Spike had given her said lecture well out of earshot of the Slayer, for fear she would go ballistic over his attempts to coddle her, but Dawn didn’t blame him. She thought it was kind of cute, how protective-daddy he could go at the drop of a hat.

 

Her new little niece or nephew wasn’t going to lack for love, that was for sure.

 

Dawn managed to get to school, trying to ignore how much it hurt to watch as Janice sat with the cool kids, leaving Dawn to look around for a free spot. She reminded herself that she had better things to do with her time than worry about high school politics. _She_ could open up portals to other dimensions, after all, and Dawn was pretty sure that Buffy would allow her to help stop the next apocalypse.

 

Still, saving the world was in the future, and lunch was _now_ , and it still stung. She supposed that she could be grateful that it was Friday, at least.

 

“Hey, Dawn,” Laura said as she passed. “You want to sit with us?”

 

Dawn smiled gratefully. “Yeah, thanks.”

 

“Are you going to the dance?” Laura asked.

 

Dawn hid a grimace. The winter formal was fast approaching, and Dawn had no idea if she even wanted to go. If Bracken was still around—and if she could explain a dance to him—he might go with her. On the other hand, it could end up being weird, since he knew so little about her world. He might be uncomfortable. “I don’t know,” she hedged.

 

“You should!” Sarah cajoled. “It’s going to be fun. Laura and I are going to go stag together. You could come with us.”

 

Dawn hesitated. “Maybe. There’s a guy, but he’s not a student here, and I don’t know if he’d want to come.”

 

They both leaned forward. “An older guy?”

 

“Not that much older,” Dawn said. “But he’s out of school. He’s staying with my sister’s fiancé. And he’s been out of the country for a long time.”

 

“Out of the country?” Laura asked, highly interested. “He’s foreign?”

 

“No, he’s just been living in Africa,” Dawn improvised. “His parents were missionaries.”

 

They plied her with more questions after that, but thankfully they were relatively shallow, like what his name was, whether he was cute, and what he was doing. Dawn was forced to do her best to come up with plausible answers, hoping that she would remember her story later on. If she was asked about Bracken again, she’d have to tell the same story, otherwise it would appear as though she’d made her boyfriend up completely.

 

How lame was that?

 

She managed to get through the rest of her day, grateful when she could head home. Dawn still remembered the days when she liked school, not just for the classes, but for the social opportunities. These days, she felt more like a misfit than anything else.

 

Letting herself into the house, Dawn called out, “Buffy!” Frowning when there wasn’t an answer, she went into the kitchen to check the fridge for messages. There were no notes from Buffy, but the red light on the answering machine was blinking steadily.

 

Dawn punched the button and listened to Spike’s voice. “When you get this, give me a call, Buffy. I’m taking Bracken to get some clothes, and we need to talk to Rupert about getting him proper paperwork. I’ll probably be at the Magic Box this afternoon, helping the witches look for spells. Better stay put until someone comes to get you, luv, even if you don’t like it.”

 

Concern was beginning to blossom into full-fledged worry. Dawn didn’t remember what her sister’s plans had been, but she was fairly certain that it hadn’t involved lying in bed all day without answering the phone. Unless Buffy was sick.

 

With a sense of foreboding, Dawn took the stairs two at a time, stopping outside Buffy’s door. She knocked softly. “Buffy?”

 

There was no response, and Dawn twisted the knob, opening the door slowly. “Buffy?”

 

A moment later, Dawn saw the unmade bed and no sign of the Slayer.

 

~~~~~

 

Spike frowned, not believing his ears. “What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“This,” Giles replied, playing the message left on the Magic Box’s answering machine. Buffy’s voice was immediately recognizable; it was her words that made no sense.

 

“I’m sorry, Giles, but I can’t put everyone in danger when the Council is only after me. It’s too much of a risk. I’ll call you when I get somewhere safe.”

 

Spike began to shake his head immediately. “That’s not Buffy,” he insisted. “You know that isn’t Buffy. She wouldn’t take off like that. When was that message left?”

 

“About fifteen minutes ago,” Giles replied. “I went out to get lunch, and when I returned this was waiting for me.”

 

Spike reached for the phone. “We’ve got to call the house. Dawn should be home from school by now, and—”

 

He was cut off by the shrill ring of the telephone, and he picked up the receiver impatiently. “Yeah?”

 

Giles gave him a dirty look for his poor phone manners, but the anger swiftly changed to worry. “You sure about that, Dawn?” Spike asked, then paused. “No, you stay put. I’m going to send someone for you.” He hung up and looked at Giles. “She just got home, and Buffy’s not there. Her bed wasn’t made, and Dawn hasn’t seen her all day.”

 

“How could someone take her?” Bracken asked, speaking up for the first time. “Dawn said she was stronger than anyone else.”

 

“They must have caught her sleeping,” Spike said, rage beginning to burn in his blue eyes. “Bloody hell! I should never have left her alone! I knew!”

 

“You didn’t know,” Giles said quickly. “We all thought that Buffy would be safe in her own house. Dawn didn’t say that the window was open, correct?”

 

“No,” Spike admitted grudgingly. “Dawn said she didn’t notice anything this morning. However they got in, they didn’t break anything doing it.”

 

“We’ll get her back,” Giles promised. “I’ll go pick Dawn up and bring her back here.”

 

Tara and Willow came through the front door of the Magic Box, both appearing a little more comfortable in the other’s company, although by no means was the tension completely gone.

 

“Where were you two?” Spike growled.

 

Tara frowned. “We got hungry and thought we’d take a break. What happened, Spike?”

 

“Someone took her,” he said. “I should have been with her last night.”

 

Willow shook her head. “You couldn’t have known, Spike, and if you had been there, they might have just dusted you and taken Buffy.”

 

Spike grimaced angrily, unable to argue with her. The chip was still working, and even if he’d been there, it was likely that he wouldn’t have been able to stop the Council’s goons.

 

“I’m going to pick Dawn up,” Giles said gently.

 

When Giles had left, Willow asked, “What about Xander and Anya? Shouldn’t we let them know?”

 

“They leave you a phone number?” Spike asked sharply. “How the hell are we supposed to contact them?”

 

“Spike,” Tara said, her voice a gentle rebuke. “We are all worried about Buffy, and it’s not your fault. The Council wanted Buffy, and they found a way to get her.”

 

Willow took an audible breath. “Tara, I think we should focus on the protection spell for the baby. I’ll see what I can do with a locator spell to find Buffy”

 

“I agree,” Tara responded. “Spike, Bracken, you two can help us look for a protection spell.”

 

Spike bit back the angry comment on his tongue, knowing that it would be counterproductive; they were all doing their best. He sat down at the table with a sigh and reached for the book closest to hand. “What are we looking for?”

 

“Any references to spells that have to do with physical protection,” Willow said. “And while you’re at it, look for spells about removing foreign objects from a body.”

 

Spike looked up at her, wide-eyed. “Thought you said you wanted to talk to Buffy first.”

 

“Buffy’s not here now, is she?” Willow asked sharply. “Besides, she’s your fiancée, and carrying your baby, and Buffy would kill me if you fried your brains trying to drain Travers.”

 

He shrugged his agreement. “Suppose so.” Spike looked over at Bracken, who was still standing uncomfortably. “Grab a seat an’ a book, lad.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

Spike frowned. “Can’t what?”

 

“Spike,” Tara said, shaking her head. “Have a seat, Bracken.”

 

The young man sat down, staring at the books in dismay, and Spike suddenly understood. “Never learned to read?”

 

Bracken moved his shoulders. “My mother taught me a little, but…”

 

“You do what you can,” Tara encouraged him. “If you recognize any words that look like they might apply to what we’re looking for, just let one of us know.”

 

He nodded and reached for a book, beginning to flip through the pages. Spike watched him for a moment, noting the reverent way Bracken touched the page, as though it was a precious thing.

 

Spike turned back to his own book, beginning to scan the pages for a spell that might help him protect his child.

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy woke slowly, her mind fuzzy. For a moment, she couldn’t recall where she was, or what had happened, but it all came rushing back as she felt the restraints on her wrists and ankles. She began to struggle immediately but could tell there was a difference in her strength.

 

She was weak. Buffy had the same feeling in her limbs as she had during the Cruciamentum.

 

Twisting her head from side to side, she could see that she was in a hospital-like room, with bare walls. From what she could see, there were no windows, and the bright fluorescent lights left the room stark. To top off the hospital theme, they had taken her clothing and given her a standard hospital gown.

 

Buffy twisted in her bonds, wondering how long she’d been out, or if Spike knew she was missing yet. The Council’s men—and she was certain that they were from the Council—had entered her bedroom while she’d been in the midst of a Slayer dream. By the time Buffy had realized that they were there, she’d had two tranq darts in her chest.

 

Her biggest fear at the moment was for her child. Would the drugs harm the baby? Had they even thought about that? Did the Council _care_?

 

“I see you’re awake.” Buffy raised her head to see Quentin Travers enter the room, followed closely by two guards. “You weren’t supposed be conscious for some time.”

 

“I’ve always been precocious,” she quipped, in spite of her crippling fear.

 

Buffy didn’t think she’d ever felt quite so helpless as she did right at that moment. If it had just been her own skin on the line, that would have been bad enough, but it wasn’t just her, and there was nothing she could do for her child at that moment.

 

“I warned you,” Travers said conversationally. Buffy tensed as a white-coated man entered the room behind him. “I told you that we could not risk having this monstrosity born.”

 

“That’s my baby you’re talking about,” Buffy gritted out. “If you harm him—”

 

Quentin shook his head. “Our goal is to determine what sort of threat the demon presents. And you needn’t worry about your vampire finding you. This place is completely shielded from locator spells, and everyone within the Council who knows of its existence is here. Completely loyal to me, I might add. We can afford to wait months, if necessary, although I believe it will be only a few weeks before the thing inside you is viable.”

 

Buffy renewed her struggles against the restraints. “Let me go, you bastard! When I get free—”

 

“You won’t,” Travers said complacently. “We’re using a stronger dose of adrenal suppressants this time. You’ll be lucky if you can lift your head in a few hours. The doctor assures me that it won’t harm the child. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting.”

 

She tried to fight, tried to move so that the doctor couldn’t stick the needle in her arm, but the guards held her still effortlessly, and Buffy fought back tears as she felt the prick.

 

Spike _would_ find her, and so would the others. Travers had underestimated them before, when she’d fought Glory. The head of the Council had dismissed her friends as being of no use at all, but he had been wrong then, and he was dead wrong now.

 

The only question was whether they would find her in time.

 

~~~~~

 

“Do you think we should call the others and tell them the good news, Mrs. Harris?” Xander asked, more than a little drunk on champagne and his new bride’s body. He’d heard that married sex was the best kind of sex, and they weren’t wrong.

 

Anya was so happy, she was glowing, and that made him happy.

 

She rolled her head to look at him. “I suppose we could.”

 

Xander grabbed her hand and pressed his lips to her palm. “I want to tell the whole world how happy I am.”

 

“You’re happy?” Anya asked. “I think I’m happier.”

 

He laughed and rolled on top of her. “Not yet.”

 

A little while later—when they were both too tired to contemplate celebrating any more—Xander finally picked up the phone to call Willow. It was late evening, and he was fairly certain that she would be home.

 

Except that the answering machine picked it up, and Xander hung up without leaving a message.

 

“Call Giles,” Anya said. “He’s my employer. He should congratulate me.”

 

Xander shrugged, figuring that if Willow wasn’t at his place, she could be at the Magic Box. In fact, there was a good possibility that he’d find most of the Scoobies there at this time of night, unless they had gone out to celebrate.

 

“The Magic Box,” Giles’ voice said.

 

“Congratulate me, G-Man,” Xander said jubilantly. “I’m a married man.”

 

There was a moment of silence, and then the Watcher said quietly, “Xander, Buffy is missing.”

 

“What?” Xander was certain he hadn’t heard him right. “What’s going on?”

 

“Someone took her last night. Willow’s working on a locator spell as we speak, and the others are researching protection spells for the baby.” Giles sighed. “My contacts at the Council are as in the dark as I am. No one seems to know where Travers might have taken her.”

 

“We’re coming back,” Xander said immediately. “We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

 

“Thank you. And congratulations, Xander. Pass the word along to Anya as well.”

 

He put the phone back, looking over at his wife. “I’m sorry, An, but—”

 

“It’s Buffy, isn’t it?” Anya asked, her expression somber.

 

Xander nodded. “They can’t find her.”

 

“We need to get back then,” she said simply.

 

Xander stared at her. “You don’t mind?”

 

She glared at him briefly before beginning to throw her things in her suitcase. “Buffy is my friend, too. Of course I’m going to want to help her. I did that last spring, didn’t I?”

 

“You did better than I did,” he responded. “Thanks.”

 

“You pack,” Anya ordered, although there was a warm light in her eyes. “I’ll call for a flight. We can always have another honeymoon later.”

 

~~~~~

 

The pressure was definitely on. Willow had her doubts about the efficacy of a locator spell, particularly when the Council had gone to so much trouble to get their slimy hands on Buffy. If she were a betting woman, Willow would bet her next paycheck that the Council had done something to shield their location from any traditional kinds of spells.

 

On the other hand, she was one powerful witch. Willow might just manage to make it work anyway.

 

The training room had been full of Buffy’s things—spare weapons, water bottles, a set of sweats that she tended to keep there. Willow chose the sweats for the focus of the spell, setting up the magical elements carefully on the training room floor. There was no way she was going to get this wrong.

 

Locator spells were pretty easy for her these days; the traces of themselves that people left on their belongings were easy to follow back to the owner, and well within the realm of natural magic that the coven had drilled into her.

 

The spell was working just fine, and Willow could sense the threads of magic she’d sent after Buffy following those traces when it just stopped.

 

It was almost like hitting a brick wall, and the wall hit back.

 

She was rocked out of her concentration, and Willow’s eyes snapped open. A tremor ran through her frame before she locked it down, frowning in concentration. If she could only figure out _where_ that brick wall had come from—she might be able to follow that to its source. If Willow could figure out who had done the barrier spell, that would be a clue.

 

Instead, all Willow could sense was the presence of the barrier.

 

“Are you okay?” Tara asked.

 

Willow shook her head wearily. “There’s someone blocking me.”

 

“Bloody hell,” Spike burst out. “How are we gonna find her?”

 

“I’ll call Nigel,” Giles said. “I doubt that there are many affiliated with the Council who are powerful enough to set up a barrier spell like that.”

 

“What if that doesn’t work?” Dawn asked anxiously.

 

“We’ll keep looking,” Spike promised her. “And if I have to kill every single Watcher, I’m gonna get her back.”

 

“It’s not going to come to that,” Giles said sharply.

 

“It might,” Spike growled.

 

Bracken cleared his throat. “Can’t you use something else as a focus?”

 

“Use what?” Willow asked, wondering what the young man meant. He couldn’t even read, but he thought he knew something about magic?

 

He shrugged. “You are following like to like: an object to its owner. There are some ties that cannot be broken, even if you put a wall between them.”

 

Tara was the first to get it. Willow could see her ex-girlfriend’s face light up. “Dawn.”

 

“What about me?” Dawn asked.

 

“Blood,” Willow said, finally understanding. “We use Dawn as the focus.”

 

“Can you do that?” Giles asked.

 

Willow shook her head. “Not usually, but we might be able to manage it, particularly with Tara and me behind her. We might even be able to open a portal directly to where Buffy is.”

 

Giles nodded. “You’ll work on it?”

 

“All night if we have to,” Willow replied, then looked at Bracken. “That was a really good idea.”

 

He flushed. “I know what it is to be connected by blood.”

 

They started to head back into the main area of the shop, but Willow asked Spike to stay back. “I think I can disable your chip.”

 

He audibly swallowed. “How soon?”

 

“Tonight, preferably,” Willow replied. “I want to make sure I’m fresh when we do the spell to find Buffy again.”

 

“It’s not going to incapacitate me, is it?” Spike asked. “Might be better to do this with the chip in that case.”

 

Willow shook her head. “I can’t make any concrete promises, but I don’t think so.”

 

Spike nodded. “Right.”

 

“We’ll do it later,” Willow said. “Give me a chance to catch my breath after doing that spell, and we’ll see if my theory works.”

 

She really hoped that it did work.


	17. Preparations

**“I didn’t hear you leave,/I wonder how am I still here/I don’t want to change a thing/It might change my memory./Oh I am what I am,/I’ll do what I want, but I can’t hide/And I won’t go, I won’t sleep,/I can’t breathe, until you’re resting here with me…” ~Dido, “Here With Me”**

 

Spike watched Willow make the spell preparations warily. Giles had taken Dawn and Bracken back to the house so they could get some sleep, but Tara had offered to help them continue researching. Once the others had gone, Willow explained what they were planning to do. Tara had immediately endorsed the plan.

 

“It’s a good idea,” Tara said. “Maybe if the Council knows that Spike can hurt humans, they won’t be quite as likely to come after Buffy.”

 

“They won’t be coming after her again,” Spike said quietly. “If they’ve hurt her or the baby, there won’t be enough of them left.”

 

“Not all the Watchers are involved in this,” Tara pointed out reasonably. “Giles said he was going to try to call his friend to try and find out where Buffy is.”

 

“Don’t care,” Spike said stubbornly.

 

Willow hesitated, then asked, “What if we can open a portal directly to where Buffy’s at? Dawn should be able to do that if the spell works.”

 

Spike immediately understood what she was getting at; depending on how well Buffy was being guarded, they might not even run into the Watchers holding her. “It might be better,” Spike admitted reluctantly. “We come in through the front door, and I might not be able to get to her before they do.”

 

Tara nodded. “Giles said that Travers is done on the Council. They aren’t going to come after Buffy again.”

 

Spike wasn’t satisfied by that promise. He wanted every single one of them dead. Spike wanted to bathe in their blood; they had taken what was his, and if he had his way, he’d make sure they didn’t live to repeat their mistake. “Maybe,” he allowed. An evil smile grew as he thought of something. “They might try to stop us.”

 

“They might,” Willow said. “So, are you ready to do this?”

 

Spike still couldn’t quite believe that Red would be willing to help him get the chip out, particularly after trying to kill him not that long ago. He wasn’t surprised that Tara believed him when he said that he wasn’t planning on using his new freedom to kill innocents, but Willow was another matter altogether.

 

“Why are you doing this, Red?” he finally asked as she finished putting everything together.

 

Willow stared at the floor for a minute before finally meeting his eyes. “You’ve changed,” she said. “You guys gave me a second chance after what I did, even though I didn’t deserve it. As long as you have the chip in your head, as long as there’s something holding you back, no one is going to know just how much you’ve changed.” She smiled, a little sadly. “Besides, I think I’ve proven that humans do bad things as often as demons do. You need to be able to protect yourself and Buffy.”

 

Spike nodded his thanks, not trusting his voice. It meant something to him to hear Willow acknowledge the changes he’d made, to know that she viewed him as a person, and not as a monster. Maybe it shouldn’t have mattered after what she’d done, but it did.

 

“I need you to step into the circle,” she directed, glancing over at Tara. “Can you think of anything I’ve missed?”

 

Tara shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

 

Willow nodded. “This might hurt,” she warned him. “I can’t get the chip out of your head, but I can disable it. I’m going to try and do that without making it fire, but I can’t make any promises.”

 

Spike nodded, feeling a little nervous; having Willow disable the chip with magic was probably better than hiring a doctor to open his skull, but it was still nerve wracking. “Nothing I haven’t felt before.”

 

Willow grimaced. “Let’s hope not, anyway, because if I fry your brain, Buffy’s going to kill me.”

 

With that less-than-reassuring comment, she began the spell. At first, Spike couldn’t feel anything, and he wondered if it was even going to work. Suddenly, the chip fired, and he dropped to his knees, gasping with pain. “Bloody hell.”

 

He heard Tara say something but couldn’t make out her words as the chip fired again, even more strongly this time. The world grayed out, and Spike clutched at his head, rolling onto his side.

 

“Spike? Can you hear me?”

 

Tara’s anxious face was a little out of focus, but Spike was grateful that he could actually understand what she was saying. Willow hadn’t been kidding about frying his brain. “Yeah,” he muttered. “Bloody hell.”

 

“I’m really sorry,” Willow said, her face appearing next to Tara’s. “I thought I could shut it down without causing that much pain.”

 

Spike rolled onto his hands and knees, trying to stand. The two women each took an arm and helped him to his feet. “Let me get something for your head,” Tara said.

 

Willow helped support him to the couch in the training room. “Are you okay?”

 

“Will be,” he responded shortly, still in too much pain to even _think_ in complete sentences.

 

“Here.” Tara gently dabbed at his face, and Spike realized that his nose was bleeding.

 

Willow grimaced. “Is there anything I can get you?”

 

“Blood would be nice,” Spike replied.

 

She nodded. “Be right back.”

 

Tara finished mopping up the blood and then touched his cheek. “Are you going to be alright?”

 

He nodded. “Yeah. That was probably the worst headache yet, but if I never have another, it’ll be worth it.” Spike paused. “You think we should tell anybody else?”

 

“That’s up to you and Buffy,” Willow said, reentering the training room. “I don’t think it’s any of our business.”

 

Spike nodded, taking the blood from her. “You think we’ll be able to do this thing with Dawn?”

 

“I think so,” Tara said slowly. “If it doesn’t work, we’ll figure out some other way. Giles might still be able to work with his friend to get information.”

 

He drained the tub full of blood quickly, thankful that Tara had had the foresight to stock up at the Magic Box, knowing that they might be spending quite a few hours there. “Yeah. Guess we always find a way.” Spike raised an eyebrow. “How am I gonna know if the spell worked?”

 

Willow held out her hand. “Slap me.”

 

Spike didn’t feel any real desire to hit her, but he slapped her wrist lightly anyway. Where once before there would have been a sharp shock from the chip, there was nothing. He smiled slowly. “You do good work, Red.”

 

“I would have hated you to go through all that for nothing,” she replied lightly. “Feeling better?”

 

Spike nodded. “I can at least think now, which means we probably should get back to work. Those Council bastards have had Buffy too long as it is.”

 

~~~~~

 

Giles listened as the phone rang, having already done the math. It would be mid-morning in England, given how late it had been when they made it back to the house. Dawn had been nearly falling asleep at the table, and if she had to open a portal, it would be better if she were well rested. Bracken, although he’d done his best, hadn’t been much help.

 

Of course, many of the spell books weren’t in English anyway, and of all of them, Spike, Giles, and Willow were the two with the best grasp of other languages. Dawn had shown a remarkable affinity for research, however, and Giles made a mental note to start working with the girl as soon as possible. She would make a very good Watcher, if that was something she wanted to do.

 

Still, she’d been falling asleep, and he’d needed to contact Nigel, so it had seemed like a good idea to come back to the house. When Nigel finally picked up the phone, Giles didn’t hesitate. “What do you know, Nigel?”

 

“Travers has cut off all contact,” Nigel replied, obviously knowing who was calling him. “We warned him that he would lose support if he went down this path, but he doesn’t seem to care.”

 

“He has been unrestrained for too long,” Giles replied. “Do you know where he has her?”

 

Nigel sighed. “I’m afraid not. I can tell you that there has been no activity on the Council’s business account for that sort of thing for the last few days. Whatever preparations he made were done with his own money and not ours.”

 

Giles cursed fluently. “This is my Slayer,” he finally said. “If he’s harmed one hair on her head, I can’t be held responsible for the consequences.”

 

“You’ll get no argument from me,” Nigel assured him. “If he meets with an accident, there’ll be no one asking questions; I can give you that much. And, if we receive any word, you’ll be the first to know.”

 

Giles knew that was as good as it was going to get. He trusted Nigel, and he had no doubt that the other man was telling him the truth. Unfortunately, Travers had been in the game for a very long time, and he had his own agenda this time around, one that had nothing to do with the well being of the Slayer.

 

“Thank you, Nigel.”

 

“Good luck finding Buffy, Rupert,” Nigel said quietly. “Please let me know if you need any assistance.”

 

Giles promised to do so and then hung up the phone. He had no idea what he would do if something should happen to Buffy; he was fairly certain that he wouldn’t be able to hold Spike back from going on a rampage. Of course, he was equally sure that he wouldn’t want to.

 

“Nothing, huh?”

 

He turned to see Dawn standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “I thought you were going to bed.”

 

“I couldn’t sleep,” she replied. “And I tried.”

 

Bracken appeared behind her. “Is there something I could do?”

 

Giles frowned, wishing that there was. “I’ll make us some tea,” he said. “Perhaps that will help.”

 

Dawn gave him a dubious look. “Okay.” She hesitated. “If something happens—”

 

“Nothing is going to happen,” Giles promised.

 

“But if something does happen,” Dawn objected, her chin set stubbornly. “I want Spike to stay with me.”

 

In spite of her brave expression, Giles could see the fear in her eyes, and the incipient tears. He didn’t try to reassure her again, knowing that Dawn understood that “something” could indeed happen. She’d spent a summer knowing that her sister was never coming home, after all.

 

“If the worst was to happen, I’m sure that Spike would be more than willing to stay with you, Dawn,” Giles said. “And I won’t be going back to England.”

 

Relief flashed through her eyes. “You promise?”

 

“I’m here permanently,” Giles promised.

 

Dawn nodded. “Okay.”

 

“These men that took Buffy,” Bracken said. “They will not kill her, correct?”

 

“I don’t believe so,” Giles responded. “I think they’re more interested in her child, and it will be sometime yet before she’s ready to give birth.”

 

Bracken nodded. “Then we have time,” he said, putting a hand on Dawn’s shoulder. “You can do amazing things; you can save her.”

 

“I’m not the superhero in the family,” Dawn responded wryly.

 

Bracken shook his head. “You saved me,” he argued. “You saved yourself.”

 

Giles watched as Dawn turned to look up at him, and he knew that Buffy was going to have an interesting time of it. “Bracken’s right,” Giles said. “Travers has underestimated your sister and her friends in the past; this time is no different.”

 

Dawn nodded. “I guess.”

 

“Let’s have that tea, shall we?” Giles said. “Then you should really try to sleep.”

 

~~~~~

 

Anya followed Xander through the Sunnydale airport, wishing that it hadn’t taken quite so long to get back to Sunnydale. They hadn’t been able to get a flight back until early afternoon, however. Even if they had rented a car and driven, they wouldn’t have been back any sooner. When they’d called to let Giles know when they were getting into town, he’d reassured them that there wasn’t much they could do.

 

“We’re working on a promising line of research now,” Giles said. “But Tara, Willow and I have it well in hand. Everyone else is mostly just waiting right now.”

 

Anya wished that she were still a vengeance demon at the moment; she would have been able to grant Spike a wish and hung up Travers and the others by their entrails.

 

She’d be willing to bet that Spike could be quite creative about his wishes.

 

Anya honestly didn’t mind cutting their honeymoon short for something like this. In the past, she’d always felt as though Xander was putting his friends first, before her, and before their relationship. Now, Anya felt like an integral part of the team, and she’d come to understand that Xander was important, too.

 

These days, Anya felt like they were a family, and she knew that families took care of each other.

 

Since Xander had driven them to the airport, no one had to pick them up. Giles had told them to come to the Magic Box, because that’s where everyone was. Walking in, seeing everyone around the big, round table, paging through thick magic texts, it felt like old times. The only difference was that Spike was right in the middle of things, and Buffy wasn’t there.

 

“Congratulations,” Willow said immediately.

 

“Thanks,” Xander replied, although his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Anya knew he hadn’t stopped worrying since Giles had informed them that Buffy was missing. “How’s it coming?”

 

Giles glanced up. “We believe we have a spell that will work.”

 

“When are we doing it?” Xander asked, motioning Anya to take the only empty chair, while he remained standing. “Tonight?”

 

“We don’t know,” Tara replied. “There are a lot of variables.”

 

“Like what?” Anya asked.

 

“Like whether we go in there and kill everybody who had a hand in this, or we try to whisk Buffy away without them being the wiser,” Spike replied. “Right now, I’m in favor of a blood bath.”

 

“I think it should be a small team,” Xander said quietly. “The bigger it gets, the more risk to Buffy. They went to this much trouble; they might be willing to kill her before letting her go.”

 

“That is the concern,” Giles said.

 

“Tara and I can do the spell,” Willow explained. “We’re using Dawn, so it’s probably better if she stays on this side. The question is who else goes.”

 

“There’s no question there,” Spike said. “I go, and I’ll take one, maybe two more.”

 

“I would like to go,” Bracken said quietly. “I would like to help, since I have not been of much assistance yet.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Dawn ordered him. “You’re doing great.”

 

“I’d like to go, too,” Xander said. “I say the three of us go; that way, you’ve got two of us to watch your back. You won’t have to worry about the chip firing that way.”

 

Anya saw some unnamed emotion flash across Spike’s face, and Willow looked a little guilty. She wondered what that was all about, although she could guess. Anya knew that if anyone hurt Xander, she would do whatever it took to either get him back, or get revenge. If the chip was the only thing standing in between Spike and Buffy, then he’d find a way to get rid of it.

 

“Makes sense,” Spike said evenly.

 

“I agree,” Giles said. “Hopefully, if something should go wrong, Willow and Tara will be able to pinpoint your location, and we will be able to rescue you.”

 

Willow shook her head. “Let’s hope that it doesn’t come to that.”

 

“What if they try to stop us?” Xander asked, sounding worried. “They’re human, Giles.”

 

“They’ve crossed the line,” Giles responded. “If it’s your life or theirs, do not hesitate.”

 

“Let them bloody well try,” Spike said, almost snarling. “We’ll teach them a lesson they’ll not soon forget.”

 

Anya raised an eyebrow, certain at that point that Spike had done something with the chip. She wondered how Xander would react when he found out. Of course, it might be better not to tell him for a long time to come.

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy drifted in and out of consciousness; every time she was nearly completely awake, she started struggling, certain that she would be able to free herself if she just kept trying. And every time she awoke enough to test the restraints, she felt another prick of the needle, and she floated off again.

 

Her dreams were continually haunted by tweed-clad monsters with huge teeth, ready to devour her and her baby. When she attempted to run, her feet were leaden, and she could never move fast enough.

 

And no matter how loudly she called, Spike was nowhere to be found.

 

~~~~~

 

“This is so not fair,” Dawn muttered rebelliously. She knew that her blood was required for the spell, but she didn’t understand why she couldn’t go along. Buffy was _her_ sister, after all.

 

“Get used to it,” Spike snapped, his temper frayed. “Life isn’t fair.”

 

Dawn glared at him. “I could help.”

 

He returned her glare, then whirled and left the room, heading out to the back alley.

 

“Don’t push him, Dawn,” Tara warned her. “He’s worried.”

 

“And I’m not?” she asked sharply. “At least he gets to go on the rescue mission.”

 

“You are needed here, to keep the portal open, and then to close it again.” Giles’ expression was definitely fatherly; Dawn could remember Hank Summers having that look on his face, too. The look where she knew it was time to back off.

 

Dawn sighed, knowing that she was acting like a brat. “Fine.”

 

Bracken was watching the preparations from the stairs, and Dawn went to sit next to him. “I know it’s not easy to be left behind,” he said softly.

 

Dawn flushed. Somehow his understanding only made her more ashamed of her behavior. “I just want to help.”

 

“You are the one leading them to your sister,” he pointed out helpfully.

 

Dawn shrugged. “That’s just my blood; that’s not something that I’m doing.”

 

“Sometimes what you are is as important as what you do.”

 

Dawn was quiet for a moment, thinking about that. Although she knew that a person was defined by their actions, she understood what Bracken was getting at. No matter what she did, Dawn would always be the Key, just as Buffy would always be a Slayer, and Spike would always be a vampire. There would be times when those identities would take precedence over everything else.

 

“I’m glad you’re going with them,” Dawn said quietly.

 

Bracken nodded. “I’m happy to be of assistance.” He looked over at her, his hazel eyes warm with understanding. “Go talk to him.”

 

Dawn knew immediately who he was talking about, and she sighed. She really hated apologizing. They were all on edge because of Buffy’s disappearance, particularly since the Slayer was the one who always did the rescuing. The idea that Buffy needed to be rescued seemed wrong.

 

It was probably worse for Spike, though; he was dealing with guilt over not being there to prevent Buffy from being kidnapped, and fear for their child. Dawn had a feeling that her worry and fear didn’t even begin to touch his.

 

She saw him sitting on a stack of cartons. The sun was dipping low on the horizon, and so most of the alley was in shade, and the tip of his cigarette burned orange in the dim light. “Hey.”

 

“Hey.”

 

Spike’s voice was neutral, but Dawn could tell that he wasn’t truly angry with her, just mildly pissed off. She could understand that. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” he said quietly. “We’re all short on sleep and patience right now.”

 

Dawn sighed and sat down next to him. “It’s just that Buffy always gets to rescue me, and it would be kind of nice if I could return the favor for once.”

 

“We would have a hard time finding her without you, Bit,” Spike said. “It’d take way too much leg work, and way too much time to track that bastard down; time we can’t afford to take.”

 

“I know,” Dawn agreed. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. “What do you think of Bracken?” she asked, changing the subject.

 

“He’s alright,” Spike allowed. “Not good enough for you, though.”

 

Dawn felt a smile pull at the corners of her lips. “Would any guy be good enough for me?”

 

Spike glanced over at her, a teasing light in his eyes. “Probably not,” he allowed.

 

Dawn grew serious again. “Do you think he’ll stay?”

 

Spike looked off into the growing darkness, and then flicked his cigarette butt off into space. “One thing I’ll say about Summers women,” he said. “They’re worth turning your whole bloody world upside down for.”


	18. A Time to Kill

**“When the rain comes, it seems that everyone has gone away/When the night falls, you wonder if you shouldn’t find someplace/To run and hide/Escape the pain/But hiding’s such a lonely thing to do./I can’t stop the rain/From falling down on you again./I can’t stop the rain/But I will hold you ‘til it goes away./When the rain comes, you blame it on the things that you have done/When the storm fades, you know the rain must fall on everyone./So rest awhile/it’ll be alright/No one loves you like I do…” ~Third Day, “When the Rain Comes”**

 

Bracken looked at Spike. “May I ask a question?”

 

“What’s that?” Spike asked, sounding distracted as he watched Willow and Tara begin the spell that would hopefully both locate Buffy and open a portal—all at the same time.

 

“Are these men you want me to kill?”

 

Bracken was perfectly serious. In his own world, there were people who were disposable, and those who were not. He knew that he fell into the “disposable” category; although his parents and some of his siblings might miss him, they would not mourn for long. Life was too short and too brutal to waste tears on the dead.

 

But there were also those who could not be killed without grave repercussions; Bracken had a feeling that most humans fell into that category in this world.

 

Spike looked at him, startled, and then he slowly nodded. “Yeah. They make a move toward you or any of us, and you take them out. No hesitation.” He looked over at Xander. “Same goes for you, Harris.”

 

“If it’s them or Buffy, I have no problem with that,” Xander said evenly, but Bracken picked up on the note of anxiety in his voice.

 

Bracken thought it was a little odd that Xander would be so squeamish about killing a human when he had no problem killing non-humans. Bracken didn’t see much difference between the two, at least in the way that Dawn and the others seemed to.

 

This was a backwards world, where humans were in control.

 

“Good,” Spike said, satisfied. “You got the weapons you need?”

 

Xander held up a heavy bat, and Bracken nodded. When Giles had asked him what weapon he preferred, there had really only been one choice. Bracken was very good with a knife, but he’d never used another sort of weapon—unless he included a cudgel.

 

Well, he’d used a bow and arrow in the past, but they would be in close quarters, and there wouldn’t be room to get off a shot like that.

 

Bracken watched as Dawn sliced her left palm with a knife, letting the blood drip down into the center of the circle. Willow and Tara would use her blood as the focus of the spell, and as soon as they had the location fixed, Dawn would open the portal.

 

From what he understood, the spell would work or not on the basis of timing. All three women had to be perfectly in sync, and Willow would be directing them telepathically.

 

There had been an undercurrent there earlier that Bracken hadn’t quite understood, although he’d picked up on it. Dawn had told him in an undertone that Willow and Tara had been “together” at one point, but they had broken off their relationship due to some misconduct on Willow’s part. It was another one of those things that Bracken had a feeling that he would never quite get, just like so many things about this group.

 

On the other hand, Bracken felt more accepted here, among strangers, than he had among his own family. From Spike, who had willingly given him a place to stay, to Tara, who had fed him, to the others who had been kinder than nearly anyone else he’d ever known.

 

Dawn had promised him that there was room enough for him in her world; Bracken was beginning to believe her.

 

~~~~~

 

The more time went by without knowing where Buffy was, or what was happening to her, the more on edge Spike became. There was no question in his mind that Buffy was about as capable and competent a Slayer as he’d ever run across, but because this was the Council that had her; they were unlikely to underestimate her.

 

Although he was pretty sure that Buffy was the only Slayer ever to become pregnant with a vampire’s child, there was a good chance that this wasn’t the first time the Council had taken matters into their own hands. And even though they had badly mishandled Faith, that simply meant that they weren’t likely to try the same tactics again.

 

No, they were likely to ensure that they retained complete control over Buffy, and that’s what had Spike worried.

 

The wind from the portal began to blow, whipping their faces and hair. Spike steeled himself and sensed Xander and Bracken do the same on either side. Normally Spike wouldn’t have considered taking Harris along, but the man had grown on him in the last few months, and he knew it would be nearly impossible to convince him to stay.

 

Once the portal was up, Willow spoke. “I think we can give you fifteen minutes, tops, so you might want to hurry.”

 

Spike nodded and led the way, jumping into the whirling energy, and feeling his stomach drop as he went from one location to the next, nearly instantaneously. The room he found himself in looked a lot like a hospital room, with bare, white walls, and a single bed. Buffy lay there in a hospital gown, pale and unresponsive, and he rushed to her side.

 

Xander was next through the portal, and he went to Buffy’s other side without being told, beginning to loosen the restraints on her wrists and ankles.

 

Spike cursed softly, doing the same, nearly paralyzed with fear that they’d harmed her irreparably. He glanced over his shoulder to see Bracken standing by the door, obviously standing guard. It was good thinking on the boy’s part, and another reason why Spike didn’t mind the kid being around, even if his Nibblet was enamored.

 

Buffy began to whimper slightly, and Spike put a hand on her face to comfort her. “Hey, luv. It’s just the cavalry.” When that didn’t seem to calm her, he added, “It’s Spike and Xander, Buffy. Just hang on and we’ll get you out of here.”

 

Her eyes fluttered open and fixed on him, although her dilated pupils told Spike that they had her doped to the gills. “Spike?” she whispered, her voice raspy.

 

“That’s right. It’s me.”

 

“I’m here, too, Buf,” Xander said. “We’re getting you out of here.”

 

She clutched at Spike, and he scooped her up, relieved when she put her arms around his neck; she had the strength for that much at least. He was about ready to send Xander through the portal when the door burst open, and two men in black entered, flanking another man in a tweed suit.

 

Spike didn’t recognize the man in the center, although he had his suspicions as to his identity—suspicions that were soon borne out by Xander’s hissed, “Travers.”

 

“Put the Slayer down, vampire,” Travers ordered. “She’s ours.”

 

“Last I heard, you didn’t own her,” Spike shot back, adding with a leer, “And I sure haven’t seen your name on her anywhere.”

 

Buffy had her face buried in his chest, and she held on tighter, her fear apparent.

 

The two men raised their guns, pointing them at Spike and Xander. Bracken appeared to be unarmed, so they obviously weren’t considering him a threat. “Spike,” Xander said in an undertone. “Maybe it would be better not to piss off the men with the big guns.”

 

“You won’t leave here alive,” Travers warned him. “I have no problem killing her to ensure that her child does not live. Leave her with us, and they will both remain alive.”

 

“Go to hell,” Spike snarled. “You’re talking about my bloody fiancée.”

 

“I’m talking about the Slayer,” Travers corrected him, then gestured to the gunmen. “Shoot them.”

 

Spike knew that he didn’t have a prayer of getting to them in time, not with Buffy in his arms. He couldn’t protect Xander and Bracken, not without dropping her, and they—

 

His options ran through his head in a split second as he considered and discarded every scenario. In the end, Spike didn’t have to make a choice, because a knife was suddenly buried to the hilt in Travers’ throat, and another appeared in the first man’s chest. Xander took advantage of the second gunman’s surprise, taking two steps forward and swinging the bat at his head.

 

The man ducked, but Xander had used the first swing as a feint, and he swung low, hitting the man across the kneecaps. The gunman howled, and Spike yelled, “Get out of here!”

 

Bracken was first through the portal, and Xander waved at Spike. “Go, get Buffy out. I’ve got the rear.”

 

Spike jumped through, more relieved than he would like to admit when Xander followed immediately. Apparently, Bracken had warned the others, because they were all standing away from the portal, except for Dawn, who was feverishly working on closing it.

 

As soon as the portal closed, Spike found himself surrounded by the others, as concerned as he was for Buffy. She had lapsed back into unconsciousness at some point during the chaos, and Spike tapped gently on her cheeks, hoping to bring her around. “Come on, luv,” he muttered.

 

“We have to get her to the hospital,” Giles said.

 

“And tell them what?” Spike demanded.

 

“I’ll make a phone call,” he replied. “There’s a doctor there that I’ve dealt with in the past.”

 

Spike nodded reluctantly, knowing that the Watcher was right; they needed to know what Travers had used to keep her unconscious, and whether it had harmed the baby. He stroked her hair out of her face tenderly, not paying much attention to what Giles was saying, his explanation to the man on the other end.

 

“Let’s go,” Giles said. “Doctor Wilkes will be waiting for us.”

 

Spike frowned. “Can we trust him?”

 

“The doctor is a woman, and yes, we can trust her,” the Watcher promised. “But we need to get Buffy to the hospital.”

 

Spike picked her up, ignoring the others as they crowded around. “Xander, can you drive the others?” Giles asked. “Dawn, you can come with us.”

 

Dawn slid into the passenger seat while Spike climbed into the back seat of Giles’ car with Buffy. She hadn’t even stirred, and his fear was overwhelming. “What happened to Travers?”

 

Spike ignored Giles’ question, focusing his attention on the still form of the Slayer.

 

“Spike!” The man’s sharp tone forced him to look up. “I need to know if I should be preparing for Travers to show up.”

 

“He’s dead,” Spike replied, turning his attention back to Buffy.

 

“What happened?” Dawn asked. “Spike…” She twisted in her seat, reaching back to touch his arm. “She’s going to be okay. Tell us what happened.”

 

Dawn’s voice brought a little sanity, reminding Spike that there were others with just as much interest in making sure that Buffy was okay. “We went through the portal, found Buffy strapped to a table. She came to briefly, and I think she recognized me, but she wasn’t terribly lucid. We freed her, and Travers and a couple of his goons came busting through the door. He ordered them to shoot us, and Bracken took out Travers and one of the men with a couple of very well-placed knives. Xander got the other across the knees with a baseball bat, and we came back.”

 

“Good,” Giles sounded highly satisfied. “That does make things easier.”

 

Dawn frowned. “Bracken killed them?”

 

“I had my arms full of Buffy, so yeah,” Spike said, regretting that fact just a bit. He’d wanted to bathe in their blood; he still did, when you got right down to it.

 

Giles pulled up in front of the emergency room doors. “Bracken seems to be a highly capable young man,” he observed, opening the door for Spike.

 

Spike didn’t respond, focusing on Buffy, who still hadn’t roused. Her continued unconsciousness worried him. He made sure that the gown covered everything it needed to, and carried her inside. There was a doctor waiting for them, and she went to meet Giles immediately, her hand outstretched. “Mr. Giles? This must be the patient.”

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you finally, Dr. Wilkes. This is Buffy Summers,” Giles responded. “Nigel told you what was going on?”

 

“She’s with the Council?” Spike inquired sharply. “You didn’t tell me that.”

 

“Please, I’m a doctor first,” the woman said. “And I know enough about Buffy’s special—needs to be of more use than anyone else on staff here.” Dr. Wilkes waved at one of the orderlies, who quickly brought over a gurney. “I promise we’ll take good care of her.”

 

“I’m not leaving her side, not for a second,” Spike snarled, refusing to let go of Buffy until he knew she’d accede to his demand. “You can’t deal with that—”

 

“You can stay,” Dr. Wilkes agreed, glancing over at Giles and Dawn. “You will both have to stay in the waiting room, however. There isn’t room enough for everyone.”

 

“That’s fine,” Giles responded, putting a comforting hand on Dawn’s shoulder. “Spike, I promise that you can trust her.”

 

Spike finally laid Buffy down on the gurney, following as they began wheeling her down a hallway, every sense alert for traps. He didn’t trust these strangers, not after what the Council had done—or tried to do.

 

They brought her to a private room, and Spike moved to her side as soon as the orderly got out of the way, taking her hand in his.

 

“I’m just going to take a blood sample to find out what kinds of drugs she’s been given,” Dr. Wilkes said, beginning to check Buffy’s pulse and blood pressure herself. “We’ll wait for the results to find out if we need to do an amniocentesis, but as soon as I’ve done that, we’ll hook her up to a monitor, and do an ultrasound to make sure the baby is okay.”

 

Her movements were brisk and efficient, and her stream of commentary about what she was doing reassured Spike slightly. She was obviously competent, and so far hadn’t made any threatening moves.

 

Of course, now that the chip was out, Spike didn’t much care if the good doctor did try something. He’d rip her throat out.

 

~~~~~

 

Dawn looked up to see the others as they came through the emergency room doors, but she had eyes only for Bracken. She immediately went to him, hugging him. “Thank you.”

 

“For what?” he asked, sounding bewildered, although he tentatively returned her embrace.

 

“For killing them,” Dawn said in a low, fierce voice. She didn’t want their conversation overheard, but she wanted to be sure he understood how grateful she was. Travers had almost succeeded in taking her sister from her again. Bracken’s actions had ensured that he’d never have another chance.

 

Bracken’s arms tightened around her briefly. “They _were_ going to shoot us,” he said mildly. “And Spike said that’s what I should do if they threatened to harm us.”

 

“You did exactly the right thing,” Giles said quietly, having come up to them. He looked over at Willow and Tara. “The spell was well done.”

 

Willow shrugged modestly. “Dawn was the one who did the hard work. The locator spell isn’t very difficult.”

 

Dawn blushed at the compliment. “I wouldn’t have been able to find Buffy without you guys.”

 

“It was a team effort,” Tara said firmly. “I’m glad it worked as well as we hoped it would.”

 

Xander frowned. “When can we see Buffy?”

 

“The doctor allowed Spike to go back with her, but no one else,” Giles replied.

 

Dawn raised her eyebrows. “You mean that Spike didn’t give her a choice.”

 

Anya looked intrigued. “I’ll bet he’s feeling very dissatisfied by now. Xander told us that he didn’t get to kill anyone.”

 

“He wouldn’t have been able to kill anybody,” Xander objected. “Since they’re human.”

 

Dawn saw Willow’s guilty expression, as well as Tara’s frown. “Unless he doesn’t have the chip anymore,” she observed.

 

Giles frowned. “How would—” He saw the look on Willow’s face. “What do you know about that, Willow?”

 

“It was for the best,” Tara responded, stepping in to defend the other woman. “Spike asked us to help him, and we agreed that it was a good idea.”

 

“He’s not going to go out and kill anybody,” Willow added. “And he said he’d already talked to Buffy about it. Between the Council and Ray, not to mention the nerds last year, it’s pretty obvious that demons aren’t our only problem.”

 

Giles cleared his throat. “Yes, well, I think you should have talked to me first. If Spike—”

 

“He’s not going to do anything that would hurt Buffy,” Dawn interrupted, glaring at him. “If he killed anybody, Spike would lose Buffy _and_ the baby. Besides, he’s different now.”

 

Dawn watched as Giles bit his tongue, and Anya elbowed Xander as he was about to say something. She had a feeling that Buffy was going to hear from both of them later on, but she almost felt sorry for the two men. Dawn knew that Buffy was unlikely to hear anything bad about Spike, or to allow them to get very far on their warnings.

 

Chances were, they’d be getting a dressing down from the Slayer; Dawn had gotten one or two of those herself, and she knew how painful they could be.

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy awakened slowly, first noticing that her mouth was dry, and then that her hands were free. Well, one of her hands was free, the other was being held tightly by a cool, long-fingered hand that she recognized immediately. “Spike.”

 

“Right here, Buffy,” he replied, his hand stroking her forehead as her eyes fluttered open. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Okay. Thirsty,” she said, hearing how raspy her voice was.

 

He pulled back, reaching for something just out of her line of sight, and a moment later put a straw to her lips. One strong hand supported her head as she tried to sit up to take a drink, and Buffy nearly whimpered at her apparent weakness. “Easy,” he said quietly. “Doc says you’ve got half a dozen compounds in you, and it’s going to take some time for it to wear off.”

 

“The baby?” Buffy asked, fear making her heart skip a beat.

 

Spike shook his head, the muscle in his jaw working. “They don’t know yet, but so far it looks alright. Heartbeat’s strong, and there aren’t any other obvious problems. We’ll have to wait on the rest.”

 

Buffy’s foggy brain couldn’t quite come up with what “the rest” referred to, but she knew enough to know that it might be really bad.

 

“Have to tell you something luv,” Spike said softly. “I know now isn’t the best time, but I don’t want to be accused of hiding anything from you, and it’s gonna come out sooner or later.”

 

“What is it?” she asked, searching his face, her trust in him complete. Whatever had happened, whatever Spike had done, Buffy didn’t care.

 

“Got the chip out,” he admitted hoarsely, his voice low. “Willow and Tara did it, with a spell. I couldn’t stand to think of those Council wankers having you and me unable to do anything about it. Reckon the others will find out, but—”

 

Buffy didn’t have much strength, but she had enough to raise a hand to his lips, stopping his rambling explanation. “It’s okay. We talked about this.”

 

“Yeah, we did,” he replied. “But that didn’t mean you’d be okay with it once it was done.”

 

“I trust you,” Buffy said simply. “Where’s Travers?”

 

“Dead,” Spike said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do it myself, and make it last a good long while, but I had my arms full of you at the time. Bracken did him for us. Put a knife into him pretty neatly.”

 

Buffy smiled in relief. “We’ll have to get him a medal,” she murmured. “I really hated him.”

 

“So did I,” Spike said, his hand resting on her forehead. “Go to sleep, luv. That’s the best thing for you right now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Dawn?” Buffy asked, not wanting to succumb to her exhaustion until she knew that everyone was okay.

 

“She helped find you, and she’s with Rupert an’ the others. It’s alright, Buffy. Go to sleep.”

 

Comforted by Spike’s steady voice, Buffy let herself drift off, still holding tightly to his hand.


	19. Anxiety

**“And what do I, and what do I, what do I need/to do to see myself in a better mood/And what do you, what do you, what do you need/to do to get yourself in a better mood/Well, there’s not a lot for you to give if you’re giving in/And there’s not a lot for you to feel if you’re not feeling it/You bring it up and bring it in and we’ll get you fixed up in no time… ‘Cause this love is all I have to give.” ~Tegan and Sara, “Fix You Up”**

 

Buffy strained to open the pickle jar, stifling a curse. She remembered how long it had taken to get her strength back when Giles had given her the drugs before the Cruciamentum, and it was likely to take longer this time with the amount that Travers had pumped into her system.

 

“Here.” Spike plucked the jar out of her hands and twisted the lid off.

 

She pouted. “This really sucks.”

 

“Should wear off in another couple of days,” he replied, trying to encourage her.

 

Buffy shook her head. “Try another week at least. I remember how long it took to wear off the last time.”

 

“At least you’re in one piece,” Spike said, and Buffy nodded reluctantly.

 

She’d only been home for a few hours; the doctor had insisted on keeping her overnight to make sure that the baby wasn’t in any distress. In the end, Dr. Wilkes had given her a clean bill of health, but had warned her that there was still the possibility that there could be problems later on.

 

“I don’t believe the drugs Travers used hurt the baby,” Dr. Wilkes had explained. “But there’s no telling what affect they had on its development in the long term.”

 

Of course, that essentially meant that Buffy was forced to be patient, which was not one of her virtues.

 

“It’s gonna be fine,” Spike said, seeming to read her mind.

 

Buffy faced him. “And if it’s not, Spike? If what Travers did…” She trailed off, unable to even voice her concerns. She just kept remembering the Slayer dream she’d had before Travers’ men had snatched her, the one where her baby had been gone, beyond her reach. Travers might be dead, and the Council might be assuring her that they meant her and her child no harm, but that didn’t mean it was over.

 

Spike put his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes. “We’ll get through this,” he promised in a low voice. “Whatever happens, we’ll make it work.”

 

Buffy moved closer, resting her forehead on his shoulder, marveling once again at how well they fit together. Spike’s strong arms pulled her close.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Spike murmured. “Should have been there.”

 

“And I shouldn’t have let them get the drop on me,” Buffy shot back.

 

Spike raised an eyebrow. “What? We gonna fight about whose fault this is now?”

 

She grimaced, knowing that he was right; there was no use crying over spilled milk. “What are we going to do about Bracken?” she finally asked. “If you’re moving in here—”

 

“I am moved in,” Spike said. “Just have to shift a few more things is all. As for the boy, I already talked to Red about that. She’s going to have to find another place to stay now that Xander and Anya are married, and I’ve got an apartment that’s already been leased. Bracken’s staying there anyway.”

 

Buffy was a little surprised that Spike already had things settled. “You’ve got it all figured out, huh?”

 

“Had to do some quick thinking,” Spike acknowledged. “Dawn likes him, and he’s not so bad. From what she’s said, he’s better off here, with us.”

 

Buffy shrugged. “He’s a hero in my book, just for saving Dawn and sticking a knife in Travers. Honestly, if we needed to find a place for him, we could always let him stay in the basement, but your plan is probably the better option.”

 

“Probably best not to put temptation under the same roof with the Bit,” Spike murmured, catching her mouth with his.

 

Buffy let his kiss drive away all other thoughts, focusing instead on Spike and how good they were together.

 

If she let herself think about everything that could still go wrong, Buffy was certain that she’d go crazy.

 

~~~~~

 

Dawn had thought about some silly games to play, but after everything that had happened, it didn’t seem like a good idea. Buffy was still on edge, and the fact that her strength was coming back to her so slowly only made it worse. She wondered if one of the reasons Giles had moved out so quickly was to get away from the Slayer’s mood swings.

 

Well, that and he probably was a little tired of sleeping on the couch.

 

“Hey,” Dawn said, opening the door to let Willow and Bracken inside. “Did you guys get the cake?”

 

“One cake coming right up,” Willow assured her.

 

Bracken was carrying the cake box. “Where should I put it?”

 

“The kitchen is fine,” Dawn said. “Have you guys talked to Giles?”

 

“A little while ago,” Willow replied. “He was just finishing up at the Magic Box.” She lowered her voice. “How’s Buffy doing?”

 

Dawn shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. I think she’s still freaking out, but the doctor said everything looks good. Until she counts every finger and every toe, though, I don’t think she’s going to believe it.”

 

“And Spike?”

 

“Pretty much the same, but he’s trying to act positive for Buffy’s sake.” Dawn shrugged. “You wouldn’t know Buffy’s worried, but she keeps getting mad about little things. It’s a sure sign.”

 

“Dawn!” Buffy’s voice rang through the house.

 

Dawn sighed. “Duty calls.” She went upstairs and poked her head into Buffy and Spike’s bedroom. “What?”

 

“Who’s here?” Buffy asked.

 

“Willow and Bracken,” Dawn replied. “Where’s Spike?”

 

“I don’t know,” Buffy said shortly. “He said he had to go do something downstairs, and then he disappeared.”

 

Dawn put her most innocent expression on, knowing that Spike was putting the finishing touches on the new crib. “Huh. Well, I’m sure he’s almost done. He knows what time the party starts. Are you coming down?”

 

Buffy gestured to her clothing, which consisted of an ancient pair of pajama pants and an old t-shirt. “Does it look like I’m ready to come down? I don’t have anything to wear. Nothing fits right now.”

 

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Come on, Buffy. We went shopping for maternity stuff the other day.”

 

She frowned. “It makes me look fat.”

 

“No, what you’re wearing makes you look fat,” Dawn replied, not bothering to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. “We talked about this the other day. Tara, Willow and I all assured you that you didn’t look fat. _Spike_ assured you that you didn’t look fat. Trust us.”

 

Buffy let out a breath and slumped down on the bed. “What if this is all for nothing, Dawn?”

 

“What are you talking about?” Dawn asked carefully, sitting down beside her.

 

“What if the baby—”

 

Buffy didn’t finish her sentence, but Dawn knew what she was trying to say. It would be pointless to have a baby shower if it turned out that there wasn’t going to be a baby. “Why are you so worried?” Dawn asked. “I know that the doctor couldn’t say that everything was okay for sure, but there’s no indication that there’s a problem now.”

 

“I had this dream,” Buffy confessed. “The night that Travers’ men came. I was looking for him, but all I could find was an empty cradle, and a man told me that he was beyond my reach.”

 

Dawn frowned. “But that was right before you got snatched, so it doesn’t mean that’s going to happen now.” Then, realizing that Buffy had been using a specific pronoun, she asked, “I thought the doctor couldn’t tell the sex for sure.”

 

“It was a boy in my dream,” Buffy replied softly. “I can’t lose him, Dawn.”

 

Dawn nodded. “I know, but you won’t. Your dreams don’t always predict the future. I mean, we fixed it, right? So everything is going to be fine.” She went over to the closet and selected one of the maternity outfits that had looked particularly good on Buffy. “Here. I promise that this one doesn’t make you look fat.”

 

“Thanks.” Buffy glanced up at her sister. “You did a great job, Dawnie.”

 

Dawn knew that Buffy was referring to her role in the rescue. “Well, they did make me out of you,” she replied. “It’s about time that the hero genes started showing themselves.”

 

~~~~~

 

Willow thought that the baby shower turned out rather well. Although she could tell that Buffy wasn’t quite herself, seeming distracted and out of sorts, she reacted well to all the presents, including Spike’s presentation of a crib, already put together. With their help, Spike had managed to finish the nursery in the last few days, complete with new paint, furniture, and everything else.

 

“Thanks for doing this,” Spike murmured.

 

Willow followed his gaze to Bracken, who was sitting next to Dawn, eating a piece of cake. She had agreed to take over Spike’s apartment, complete with one slightly bewildered young man. In a way, it made sense, since he’d need a teacher to help him adjust, and that’s what she was. She would be starting school again after the holidays, and it would be good practice, tutoring him.

 

“It’s no problem,” Willow replied, wondering at how far her relationship with the vampire had come. This time last year, she’d been planning on killing him; now, they were friendly, if not friends. “How are you and Buffy doing?”

 

Spike shook his head, worry creeping into his eyes. “She’s going crazy over the idea that something might be wrong with the baby that the doctors just don’t know about yet. Reckon she won’t settle until it’s all over with.”

 

“Any side effects from the drugs?” Willow asked.

 

Spike shook his head. “Don’t think so. She’s getting her strength back at least, and I know that makes her feel better.” He gave her a sharp look. “How are you doing?”

 

Willow shrugged. “Good. I feel—” She paused, unsure of how to explain. Although she knew that there would always be consequences, that things would never be the same between her and the others, she finally felt as though they had a chance to move on. In a way, Willow felt as though she’d proven herself. “I feel like I’ve come home.”

 

“Makes sense,” Spike agreed. “Since you are home.”

 

Willow smiled. “Yeah, I guess so.” She glanced at the clock. “I should get going. I’ve got an early start tomorrow.”

 

Spike nodded. “You’ll come by soon?”

 

“Absolutely,” Willow replied cheerfully. “Let me know if you need anything.” She went out to the living room and touched Buffy on the shoulder. “I’m leaving now, Buffy.”

 

Buffy turned and gave her a half-smile. “Do you want to have lunch tomorrow?”

 

“I think I can manage that,” Willow agreed. “I have a break around noon.”

 

“Can I get a ride home?” Tara asked. “I’ve got an early class.”

 

“Sure,” Willow replied. “Bracken? Are you ready to go?”

 

He nodded, then leaned down to say a quick goodbye to Dawn. “You’re staying with him?” Tara asked.

 

Willow nodded. “Spike thought that he still needed to have somebody around, and it makes sense. I mean, I want to be a teacher, and he could use some help getting up to speed.” She lowered her voice. “Do you think he’ll stay?”

 

“I think so,” Buffy said. “He seems pretty attached to Dawn, and we’ve all tried to make him welcome. I don’t know why he wouldn’t.”

 

“It’s hard to leave your home behind, though,” Tara said knowingly.

 

Willow knew how true that was, although she didn’t reply since Bracken had joined them. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Buffy.” She glanced at Tara and then away. “Let’s go.”

 

~~~~~

 

Bracken swiped the back of his hand over his forehead. In spite of the cooler temperatures, he was still hot from the hard work. This was the second week he’d been working with Xander, and Bracken had found that he enjoyed it. The labor was physically demanding, but he’d always been good with his hands, and he found building things highly satisfying.

 

In Pylea, there were few chances to create or build, only to survive.

 

“Bracken!” Xander called, approaching him. “You ready to go?”

 

“Yes, of course,” he replied, putting away his hammer.

 

Xander held out an envelope. “There you go.”

 

Bracken stared at it for a moment. Willow had been helping him with his reading, and he could recognize his name, but he wasn’t certain of the significance. “What is it?”

 

“Your paycheck,” Xander replied. “Let me know if you need some help setting up a bank account.”

 

Bracken shook his head. “I’m not sure I understand.”

 

Xander clapped him on the shoulder. “This, my friend, is why we work, so we can get paid. Then, we can pay rent, buy food, and buy our women pretty things. Anya would tell you that’s the most important part.”

 

Bracken blinked. In theory, he’d understood that working brought payment, but this was the first time he’d actually experienced the concept. He still wasn’t quite used to how money worked in this world, but he knew that he could ask Willow about it.

 

“Thank you,” he said.

 

“Don’t thank me,” Xander replied, steering him out the door. “You’re a good worker. If you’re planning on staying, I want you on my crew.”

 

“Truly?” Bracken asked, surprised. He’d thought that Xander was doing Dawn, or perhaps Buffy and Spike, a favor. He knew that they felt a debt of gratitude for saving Dawn’s life, and for killing Travers, but he hadn’t wanted to be accepted out of a feeling of obligation.

 

“Wouldn’t say it unless I meant it,” Xander replied. “You stopping at Buffy’s for dinner tonight, or heading home?”

 

Home, Bracken thought. It was odd to think of the apartment he’d first shared with Spike, and then with Willow, as home, but it was true.

 

“Buffy’s house, I believe,” he replied. “Dawn said she wanted to see me about something.”

 

Xander raised his eyebrows. “How’s that going for you?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Xander laughed, but it wasn’t the unkind laughter that Andrus would have used as a weapon, but rather as a friend sharing a good joke. “Never mind. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. I’ll see you on Monday, if not sooner.”

 

“Of course,” Bracken replied, getting out of the car and heading up the front walk of the Summers’ house. He gave a perfunctory knock, then entered; after the first time he’d knocked, Bracken had been told in no uncertain terms that he had an open invitation, and to walk in any time.

 

“Hey!” Dawn said, coming out of the kitchen. “How was work?”

 

“Good,” he replied, smiling down at her. Remembering Xander’s question, Bracken wondered if he was missing something, if there was something he should be doing and wasn’t. No one else had said anything, however. “How was school?”

 

Dawn sighed. “Can I just mention how grateful I am that we’ve got a break coming up?” She hesitated. “I wanted to ask you for a favor.”

 

Bracken frowned. “Of course. What do you need me to do?”

 

“There’s this dance at school next Saturday,” Dawn explained. “Like in that movie we watched last week.”

 

Bracken nodded, indicating that he remembered what she was talking about. “Yes?”

 

“Would you go with me?”

 

He frowned, sensing that his response would be important. Remembering the significance of the dance in the movie, Bracken searched for the right words. “You want to go on a—date?”

 

“No!” Dawn said quickly. “I mean, only if you want it to be a date. We could just go as friends.” She swallowed audibly. “You know, never mind. Forget I asked. It’s stupid, and you probably wouldn’t have any fun, so—”

 

Bracken touched her lips with gentle fingers. “It is not stupid if you find it important.” He hesitated, then said, “I will go with you, but I have a favor to ask in turn.”

 

“Sure,” Dawn said. “Whatever you need.”

 

“I want to go back,” Bracken said.

 

In the silence that fell, he could see the disappointment and sheer unhappiness on Dawn’s face, and it lifted his heart. “I—sure. I can do that,” she choked out.

 

“Only for a visit,” Bracken said. “My parents do not know where I am, and I wish to tell them about this place, about you.” Dawn hadn’t seemed to mind his touch, so he ran a finger along her jaw line, his work-roughened thumb sliding over her chin. “I will return.”

 

She nodded slowly. “But what if something happens?” Dawn asked. “Maybe someone should go with you.”

 

Bracken shook his head. “No. Strangers would not be welcome. I will be fine.”

 

“Andrus—”

 

His eyes narrowed. “If Andrus tries to harm me this time, I will give him what he seems to desire so badly.”

 

“What’s that?” Dawn asked anxiously.

 

“A fight; although, if he has his friends with him, I will not attempt it.” Bracken felt a smile touch his lips. “I have many reasons to come safely back to you, and no reason to stay.”

 

Dawn nodded, obviously squelching her fear for him. “Okay. I’ll open a portal to send you back, and then I’ll open another in the same place. How long do you want?”

 

“Two days,” Bracken replied. “You must have time to recover your strength. If you open one tonight, I can return Sunday.” He shrugged. “I have to be at work on Monday.”

 

Dawn nodded. “As long as Buffy and Spike agree. I’m not allowed to open a portal without them around, you know.”

 

“Of course.” Bracken lowered his hand, realizing that he’d been cupping her face.

 

Dawn looked up at him for a long moment, then reached up to pull his head down to hers. “For luck,” she murmured, touching his lips with hers.

 

Bracken tasted her, and knew that he had every reason in the world to return.

 

~~~~~

 

Even though Buffy knew that Bracken had to make his own decision on the matter, she couldn’t help but wish that he didn’t feel the need to go back. After Dawn’s description of the place, any trip back, no matter how short, seemed dangerous.

 

After all, he’d killed Travers; she’d like him for that alone.

 

“You sure you want to do this?” Spike asked. “You’ve got a place here, so if you’re worried…” They had finished dinner and were sitting around the dining room table, like a real family. Buffy found it both odd and comforting.

 

“It’s not that,” Bracken assured them both. “I want to come back here, but I would like to let my parents know that I am safe.”

 

“Of course,” Buffy said, knowing how she would feel if Dawn and Bracken’s positions were reversed. Although, she doubted that she’d let Dawn pack up and move to another world without a fight, but that didn’t seem to be as much of a concern with Bracken’s family.

 

“You really want to go tonight?” Dawn asked. “You could always go next weekend.”

 

Bracken nodded. “I’ve made my decision. It’s important that they know. I’ve been gone for quite some time already.”

 

Buffy smiled, knowing how Dawn worked. If Bracken had given in, one week would likely have become two, and then stretched into a month or more. “How are you going to know when to meet me?” Dawn asked. “I don’t want you to miss the portal.”

 

“I won’t miss it,” he promised. “This is important.”

 

Spike glanced over at Buffy. “You got a watch?”

 

She nodded. Although she never wore it, she did have a watch that Bracken could take with him. Hopefully, that would ease Dawn’s mind, and help ensure that he made it back to the meeting place on time. “I’ll get it.”

 

Spike put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t get up. Where is it?”

 

“In the jewelry box on our dresser,” she replied. “Bottom drawer.”

 

He left the room, and Buffy met Bracken’s eyes. “Are you sure you should go by yourself? I know that strangers aren’t welcome, but Spike can take care of himself. If you give us a little time, I’m sure that Willow or Tara—”

 

“Thank you, but no,” Bracken said courteously. “I will be safe enough.”

 

Dawn grimaced. “You promise that you’ll come back?”

 

Bracken met her eyes. “I will come back. I promised that I would go with you, did I not?”

 

Buffy saw the look that passed between them and hid a sigh. She had a feeling that she was going to be having a very serious talk with Dawn soon about the birds and the bees. For one rather evil moment, Buffy considered making Spike do it, but she soon dismissed the thought. Someone was probably going to have to talk to Bracken, too, but it might be better if it wasn’t Spike.

 

A vampire couldn’t be expected to know about forms of birth control currently in use, after all.

 

“Here you are,” Spike said, handing Bracken the watch.

 

The young man looked at it, noting the time and the date, then glanced up at them. “I should change.” He’d left his old clothes at the house the first day he’d arrived; Buffy had put them in the laundry, but she hadn’t managed to return them yet.

 

Once he’d left the table, Buffy turned to her sister. “Are you okay with this?”

 

“No,” Dawn said bluntly. “But I promised that if he asked to go back, I’d open a portal; I’m not going to break my promise.”

 

“He’ll be back, Bit,” Spike said quietly. “He’s got too many reasons to return to stay away.”

 

Buffy looked over at Spike, and knew that he had personal experience in turning his entire world upside down for her. Although they hadn’t yet talked about him getting the chip out, she hadn’t felt the need. He had already promised her that he wasn’t going to go back to feeding on humans, and Buffy had already said that she trusted him.

 

There wasn’t anything else she felt needed to be said on the subject.

 

She reached over and laced her fingers with his; Buffy was grateful that she could be certain of at least one thing in her life right now, even though the future otherwise felt so uncertain.


	20. Facing the Future

**“Beautiful dawn—lights up the shore for me./There is nothing else in the world,/I’d rather wake up and see (with you)./Beautiful dawn—I’m just chasing time again./Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night./But now I’m high; running wild among all the stars above./Sometimes it’s hard to believe you remember me…Will you be my shoulder when I’m gray and older?/Promise me tomorrow starts with you…” ~James Blunt, “High”**

 

The funny part about being married was that it wasn’t much different than living together. Xander wasn’t sure what he’d been so scared of, other than the fact that marriage was a permanent commitment. Of course, Xander couldn’t see himself with anyone but Anya, so his fears had been stupid to begin with.

 

“Do you want pancakes or French toast for breakfast?” he asked.

 

Anya smiled. “Are you really that hungry?”

 

He kissed her neck, not wanting to inflict his morning breath on her. “Starving. Besides, we’ll need energy for later.”

 

“French toast, then,” Anya replied, nuzzling at his neck.

 

“Not regretting the elopement yet?” Xander asked, climbing out of bed.

 

Anya frowned. “No. Are you?”

 

“Of course not,” he said quickly. He wiggled his left ring finger at her. “I’m a happily married man.”

 

Anya smiled. “Is that right?”

 

“And right after I make breakfast for you, I’m going to show you just how happy I am,” Xander promised, pulling out the eggs and bread for the French toast.

 

As seemed to always happen, the phone rang. Xander eyed it for a moment, contemplating not answering it, since he would lay good odds that it was an emergency. “I’ll get it,” Anya said with a sigh. “Hello?” Xander paused in his preparations, waiting to see if they would need to interrupt their meal. “Yes, Giles. We were just getting ready to eat breakfast.”

 

Xander raised his eyebrows, wondering why Giles would be calling. Unless it was an emergency, in which case, they could kiss their quiet breakfast goodbye. He couldn’t tell much from Anya’s side of the conversation, since she was mostly quiet, listening to whatever Giles had to say.

 

When she hung up the phone, Anya turned to him. “Giles wanted to let me know that he’s taking Monday off. One of his friends is coming in from England.”

 

Xander wasn’t sure that he liked the sound of that; far too many of Giles’ old friends were connected to the Council, and they’d had their fill of antics from that bunch. “Has he called Buffy yet?”

 

“That was his next stop.” Anya made a face. “Spike’s not going to be thrilled.”

 

Xander suddenly remembered that the chip was gone; he kept forgetting, although he knew that he probably shouldn’t. Still, Spike had been the picture of a concerned father-to-be at the hospital, and deep down Xander knew that the vampire wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his relationship with Buffy—or their child.

 

If Xander was honest with himself, he wouldn’t have minded terribly if Spike went after Travers or the other Watchers who had grabbed Buffy. If anyone had deserved to be eaten, it was them.

 

“Let’s just hope that he doesn’t kill anybody,” Xander said. “I don’t think Buffy would appreciate that, even if Giles’ friend is with the Council.”

 

Anya shrugged. “I don’t think we need to worry about it. Men like Spike tend to act when threatened. As long as Giles’ friend doesn’t make any sudden moves, he’ll probably survive.”

 

Xander decided that he’d rather think about breakfast—and dessert. “So, French toast,” he said, changing the subject. “Do you want cinnamon this time?”

 

~~~~~

 

“You have got to be kidding me,” Buffy said flatly. “I don’t want anything to do with the Council, Giles.”

 

Giles sighed. He’d known that this was going to be difficult, and he couldn’t blame Buffy one bit for her reluctance to see Nigel. “He’s coming as a friend of mine, Buffy, not as part of the Council. If you don’t want to see him, I’ll understand, but I believe that he wants to offer an apology.”

 

“He can offer an apology when I know that my baby is safe,” Buffy shot back. “Until then, I don’t want to hear anything he has to say.”

 

Giles turned to Spike, not daring to hope that he would be any more rational. “And you?”

 

Spike’s eyes narrowed. “It’s one thing to say the words; I want to know what the bastards are going to do to make it up to us.”

 

Buffy frowned. “Spike—”

 

“Rupert’s right,” Spike said. “They owe us a bloody apology, but I don’t want to hear it if they’re not ready to back it up with something tangible.”

 

“I think that might be arranged,” Giles allowed. “From what I understand, that was Nigel’s intention.”

 

Spike shrugged. “Might be worth it, then. If only because I can show him just how well the chip _doesn’t_ work anymore.”

 

Buffy smiled, although her expression held little mirth. Giles could see the lines on her face that hadn’t been there before, and he knew that Travers’ actions were responsible for much of her strain. Waiting and worrying about the baby was taking its toll, even though the doctor had assured her that everything looked normal.

 

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Giles assured Spike. “Nigel has Buffy’s best interests in mind.”

 

“Yeah, right,” Buffy muttered.

 

“I trust Nigel,” Giles said patiently, although he couldn’t be too upset with Buffy.

 

Buffy shrugged. “You can trust him if you want, but I’m not letting anybody from the Council within ten feet of my baby. Other than you,” she added.

 

Giles smiled, grateful for that addendum. “Spike?”

 

“I’ll meet with the wanker,” Spike agreed. “No promises, though.”

 

“He’s not asking for anything,” Giles assured him. “He simply wants to extend his apologies.”

 

Spike raised a scarred eyebrow. “We’ll see.”

 

“Have you heard anything about Bracken?” Giles asked.

 

Buffy shook her head, grateful for the change in subject. “Dawn isn’t supposed to open the portal until tomorrow.”

 

Giles frowned. “Do you think he’ll return?”

 

“If he can,” Spike replied. “If he doesn’t, I have a feeling Dawn will be sending me in after him.”

 

Buffy sighed. “She’d try, anyway. I don’t think we could risk someone else going in, though.”

 

“Be easy to get lost in a place like that,” Spike agreed. “If Bracken doesn’t show up tomorrow, we’ll have to decide what to do.”

 

Buffy grimaced, but nodded her agreement. “We owe him. I hope it doesn’t come to that, but we’ll do all we can for him.”

 

Giles nodded, knowing that was the best any of them could do. He simply hoped that Bracken showed up again, safe and sound, as he’d grown rather fond of the boy in a short period of time.

 

~~~~~

 

Tara was a little nervous about meeting Willow. She had no idea how long it would be before they could be comfortable in one another’s company; maybe they never would be, given how things had ended.

 

She stepped into the coffee shop, looking around for the other woman. Tara soon spotted Willow’s distinctive hair color at a table in the corner and waved to let Willow know she was there. She ordered herbal tea and a muffin, then went to join her.

 

“Hey,” Willow said, greeting her with a smile. “How’s it going?”

 

“About like you’d expect,” Tara replied. “The end of the semester is always busy.”

 

Willow nodded. “Yeah. Starting classes again will probably be a little bit of a shock.”

 

“Are you still planning on changing your major?” Tara asked, wanting to keep the conversation light.

 

Willow nodded. “Actually, I’ve already changed it. I’ll have some catching up to do, and I won’t graduate in four years, but this is what I want.” She hesitated. “I’m also planning on going back to England next summer to stay with the coven again. I came back early because of Buffy and the baby, but I’m not done learning yet.”

 

Tara forced a smile, still worried that Willow was going to ask her to come back, to change her mind. She wished that their relationship hadn’t been destroyed in the aftermath of Willow’s curse; it seemed to be the only thing that had been irretrievably broken. “That’s good.”

 

“Tara, I know we aren’t going to get back together,” Willow said slowly, seeming to read her mind. “But I’d like to try to be friends at least. It would be easier.”

 

Tara swallowed. “We’re friends, Willow.”

 

Willow nodded. “I have a lot of regrets,” she began. “A lot of them are about Spike, and Buffy, and the way I treated them. Some of them are about Dawn, because she wouldn’t have been in danger if I hadn’t taken her to Rack’s. But I think my biggest regret is losing you.”

 

Tara stared down into her tea. “I know.”

 

“I know how you feel about me,” Willow said. “After that spell you did…” She sighed. “Thanks for having coffee with me anyway. I wanted to at least have the chance to apologize again.”

 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Tara assured her. “I know—”

 

Willow shook her head, her hair swinging in front of her face. Tara noticed that it was longer now than it had been since she’d met her, and the new style made her look older. “It’s okay, Tara.”

 

Tara was silent, realizing that Willow needed to apologize more for her own peace of mind than anything else. She also wondered if anyone had said the words she suspected that Willow needed to hear. “I’ve already forgiven you,” she said, offering healing. She wanted to heal the rift between them, even if they would never be more than friends; more than anything else in the beginning, Tara had wanted to be Willow’s friend.

 

Willow raised startled eyes to Tara, and she knew she’d said the right thing. “I forgave you a long time ago,” she added.

 

She could see the tears that Willow tried to blink away. “Thank you.”

 

It was a good beginning, anyway, and Tara found herself a lot more comfortable than she’d been for months.

 

~~~~~

 

Dawn sat on the porch steps, waiting. She felt as though she’d spent the last three days waiting, without knowing if her patience was going to pay off. Maybe she hadn’t known Bracken for very long, but she liked him. A lot.

 

It would be just her luck if he disappeared into another dimension and never came back.

 

Dawn knew that if he didn’t come back on his own there was little chance that she’d see him again. Although she might want to send Buffy and Spike into Pylea to save him, it wouldn’t be a good idea. It was simply too risky, particularly given the fact that it wasn’t a terribly friendly dimension.

 

“Ready to go?” Buffy asked.

 

“Yeah,” Dawn said, not moving right away.

 

Buffy sat down next to her, moving a little more slowly than usual. The pregnancy was becoming noticeable, and even the Slayer had to slow down a bit. “Are you okay?”

 

“I don’t know.” Dawn looked off into the darkness of the backyard. “I really like him.”

 

“I know,” Buffy said. “I’m sure he’ll be waiting for you, Dawn.”

 

“And if he’s not?”

 

“I don’t know,” her sister admitted. “We’ll have to talk about our options, I guess, but let’s not borrow trouble, huh?”

 

Dawn sighed. “I asked him to go to the winter formal with me next weekend.”

 

“What did he say?” Buffy asked.

 

“Yes.” She remembered what he’d said, the way he’d touched her lips, her cheek. Their one, brief kiss. Maybe he had every reason to return to her world while he’d been here, but Bracken might decide that his family needed him more than she did.

 

Buffy put her arm around Dawn’s shoulders for a quick hug. “Come on. If you’re late opening that portal, you’ll make Bracken worry.”

 

Dawn nodded and stood, reaching down to help Buffy up off the steps. “Yeah, let’s go.”

 

It was a quiet ride to the Magic Box. They had decided to open the portal in the training room, since it seemed to be the best place for it. It was easier to control who saw it, and who had access. Plus, if something dangerous emerged, there was a lot less chance of it getting out.

 

Everyone showed up, which Dawn found a little odd. It was just after closing, so it wasn’t terribly unusual for Giles and Anya to be there, or for Xander to show up. Dawn thought that Xander and Anya were disgustingly cute together; being married seemed to agree with them.

 

Willow and Tara were also there, however, as were Spike and Buffy, and that _was_ odd. Dawn felt more than a little self-conscious as she prepared to open the portal. She knew that they were there for Bracken, as well as for her. They all wanted her to be happy, and they were showing their support the best way they knew how.

 

Maybe it was a weird family, but Dawn wouldn’t have given any of them up for the world.

 

She centered herself, concentrating on Pylea, on the grove where she and Bracken had spent the night. Dawn thought about the shape of the trees, of the leaf-strewn ground, of the smell of the air—and then she pricked her thumb with a pin and felt the energy swirl around her.

 

With bated breath, she watched the portal for any sign of Bracken. Dawn frowned, wondering if he could see it from the other side. Or maybe he was just late; she wasn’t sure how long she could keep it open, waiting for him.

 

Moments ticked by, and Dawn blinked back the rising tears.

 

Suddenly, Bracken jumped through, landing in a heap. “Close it quickly,” he said.

 

Dawn didn’t have to be told twice. She squeezed out another drop of blood and watched as the portal closed at her bidding. “Are you okay?” she asked, getting to her feet immediately.

 

Bracken recovered fairly quickly, looking around at everyone who was present. “Yes, of course. I didn’t want anyone following me.”

 

Dawn saw the shadow of a bruise across one cheek, and she frowned. “You’re hurt.”

 

He shrugged. “Andrus and I fought.” Bracken smiled. “You should see him. I blackened both of his eyes.”

 

She found herself with tears in her eyes again, although this time for sheer happiness. “You’re staying?”

 

“I’m staying.” He moved closer to her, ignoring the others in the room. Dawn glanced over her shoulder and realized that everyone was drifting out of the training room, giving them their privacy. “My parents were glad that I had found a place where I could make a living for myself.”

 

“Even if you aren’t going to be seeing them anytime soon?” Dawn asked.

 

He shrugged. “They have twelve other children, and I am not so important.”

 

“Yes, you are,” Dawn argued.

 

“I am here,” he agreed. Bracken bent his head. “I missed you.”

 

Dawn smiled. “Same goes for me.”

 

She couldn’t help but think that their kiss was the stuff that fairy tales were made of, but since she was still a mystical Key, Dawn supposed that it only made sense.

 

~~~~~

 

Buffy had elected to go with Spike to meet Nigel, but only because she didn’t trust anyone from the Council around a vampire, and she knew that Spike would rip Nigel’s throat out before he allowed another Watcher to touch her.

 

They met the Council head at Giles’ new apartment, which wasn’t very far from his old one and was within walking distance of the Magic Box. He wasn’t anything like she’d expected; Nigel was a small, trim man in his early sixties, with thick white hair and a neatly trimmed goatee.

 

He had kind eyes of an indeterminate color, and he didn’t try to shake her hand. Almost in spite of herself, Buffy found herself trusting him.

 

At least a little tiny bit.

 

“Thank you both for agreeing to meet me,” Nigel began, accepting a cup of tea from Giles. “I realize that it probably was not an easy decision for you.”

 

Buffy nodded, unbending slightly. She noticed that Spike didn’t seem to be won over in the least. “Giles said he trusted you.”

 

“Rupert explained what happened,” Nigel replied, glancing at the other Watcher. “I feel that it was most fortunate for everyone concerned that Travers will not be available to cause more trouble. The young knife thrower has my gratitude.”

 

Spike frowned. “Travers was one of yours, yeah? Seems bloody cold to be thanking somebody for killing him.”

 

“Hmm, yes.” Nigel looked over at Giles, as if for help.

 

Giles grimaced. “Travers still had adherents, but there is little he can do to stir up trouble from the grave.”

 

“Precisely,” Nigel agreed. “Cut the head off the snake, and you end the problem. And Travers was certainly a problem. You have my guarantee that the Council will not trouble you again.”

 

“In exchange for what?” Buffy asked suspiciously. “You guys don’t give something for nothing.”

 

Nigel raised an eyebrow and gave her a wry smile. “It is, of course, our hope that you will continue to guard the Hellmouth, and if you’d allow your Watcher to send us reports every so often that would be much appreciated.”

 

“We live here,” Buffy pointed out. “It’s not like we’re going to let the world go to hell. What about my child?”

 

“It’s your child,” Nigel stated. “I would like to offer to pay all hospital expenses, however. It’s the least I can do.”

 

Spike shook his head. “And how do we know you won’t use that as an opportunity to collect all the information you can on our kid?”

 

“You don’t, I suppose,” Nigel replied. “If it would make you feel better, however, you can have Rupert send me the bill after the birth. The Council needn’t be involved at all.”

 

“What else?” Spike asked. “That can’t be the entire reason you flew across the pond—to apologize and offer to pay expenses. It’s never that simple.”

 

“In this case it is,” Nigel replied. “Also, since I am now the head of the Council, I wanted to meet our active Slayer and the infamous William the Bloody.”

 

“It’s Spike,” the vampire said, his eyes narrowing. “That’s really it?”

 

“That’s it.” Nigel sighed. “I don’t expect you to trust me, or the Council. I daresay I’m going to be spending the next year cleaning up Travers’ messes, but you may certainly contact me for assistance. Rupert knows how to get in touch with me.” He stood gracefully. “Rupert, I think I’ll be going back to the hotel.”

 

“I’ll meet you tomorrow,” Giles promised. “If you two wouldn’t mind staying, I’ll take Nigel back to his hotel.”

 

Buffy looked over at Spike who shrugged. “Sure,” she replied. “We’ll wait for you.”

 

Once Giles and Nigel had left, Buffy turned to look at Spike. “What do you think?”

 

Spike shrugged. “Dunno. He seems alright, but I don’t trust him.”

 

“That’s pretty much how I feel, too,” Buffy said, leaning against her fiancé. “We still have to talk about names, you know.”

 

Spike grimaced. “You know how I feel about that. Anything but ‘William.’ I’m not having a bloody junior.”

 

“I like William,” Buffy objected. “And he wouldn’t have to be ‘junior,’ you know.” Spike’s obstinate expression told her just how far she was going to get with that argument. “Okay, what about for a middle name?”

 

“That would be alright,” Spike allowed. “Could give him a different family name. Rupert, for instance.”

 

Buffy made a face. “No offense to Giles, but no. I’m not naming my son Rupert. What else?”

 

There was a long pause, and then he admitted, “My father’s name was John.”

 

“That’s a nice, normal name,” Buffy agreed. “Kind of boring, though.”

 

“Jack?” Spike suggested. “It’s a derivative of John, although it was considered a bit low-brow in my day.”

 

Buffy liked the sound of that. “That could work.”

 

Spike touched her cheek, his eyes showing his concern. “You feeling better about this whole thing now?”

 

Buffy nodded. “I think so. The doctor did say that everything looked normal.”

 

“She did.” Spike kissed her, and Buffy couldn’t help but remember the last time they had kissed in Giles’ flat, although they had been under the influence of a spell at the time. She threaded her fingers through his hair, giving into the sensation of lips on lips. These sorts of moments would soon become all too difficult to steal, but she didn’t mind.

 

As scared and uncertain as Buffy had been when she’d first discovered her pregnancy, she was looking forward to the birth of their child, to the future they’d created for themselves. Whatever was to come, Buffy knew that they would face it together.

 

“Maybe we should head back to the house,” Spike suggested.

 

Buffy thought about that for a moment, then nodded. “Giles probably won’t mind.”

 

“Probably prefer that to finding us on his couch.” Spike’s eyes were dark with barely-restrained desire, and Buffy felt an answering heat rise in her gut.

 

It was probably better to take advantage of every opportunity they could. “Let’s go,” she replied.

 

Buffy was grateful that she’d taken her chances on Spike. He’d certainly been worth the risk.

 

**Epilogue**

 

Spike had never thought he’d be grateful to have a doctor from the Council around, but Dr. Wilkes had understood why Buffy needed to be released after dark without being told. Although Giles could have driven Buffy home from the hospital, Spike didn’t want to let her or their son out of his sight.

 

“Let me get that,” he said, rushing to open the front door.

 

Buffy shot him an amused look. “Spike, I’m fine. Slayer healing is an amazing thing.” She eyed the baby carrier that he was holding. “How’s Jack?”

 

“Sleeping,” Spike said, his eyes following her gaze. He felt a sense of awe wash over him; Spike hadn’t thought that anything could compare to the feeling of holding his son for the first time, and that was probably true. He still felt just a little bit of that wonder every time he looked at little John William Summers.

 

Buffy smiled. “Let’s see how he likes his new room, huh?”

 

Spike carried Jack upstairs, his fingers entwined with Buffy’s. “Where’s Dawn?” Buffy asked.

 

“She called earlier to let us know that she’d be eating dinner with Willow and Bracken,” Spike replied. “Figured she’d give us a chance to get settled before the mob descends.”

 

“I asked them not to come over until tomorrow,” Buffy replied. “I wanted some alone-time with my guys.”

 

“That right?” Spike asked, watching as Buffy lifted Jack out of his carrier. He didn’t even stir, and she went to lay him down, pausing.

 

“Would you mind if he slept in our room tonight?” Buffy asked suddenly. “I don’t—” She looked down at him, his pink cheeks a testament to his good health.

 

Jack was a good-sized baby, Spike knew. That might have been because he was two weeks late; Buffy had been getting really tired of being pregnant by the time she’d gone into labor. His lateness had caused her anxiety to flare once again, but Spike had known that they wouldn’t fully relax until the baby was born, and they knew he would be okay.

 

Jack was more than okay; he was perfect.

 

“’Course not,” Spike replied softly, knowing that her fear had everything to do with the dream she’d had before Travers had taken her. “Think that might be best for tonight. Don’t think I’ll ever get tired of looking at him.”

 

The baby chose that moment to wake, beginning to whimper. “I think somebody’s hungry,” Buffy murmured, immediately beginning to unbutton her blouse.

 

Spike watched with pride and joy as she sat down in the rocking chair he’d purchased for the baby’s room and began to nurse him. Maybe every new father felt the same way, but Spike was quite sure that it was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.

 

He was even more certain that Buffy was the most beautiful woman who had ever lived.

 

Spike moved to her side, caressing Jack’s tiny arm with a gentle finger. The infant responded by waving his fist. Spike allowed him to grasp his finger, and his free hand came to rest on Buffy’s shoulder. “Thank you, Buffy,” he murmured. She’d given him so much—

 

“I should be the one thanking you,” Buffy replied. Looking up at him, Buffy smiled. “I love you, Spike.”

 

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Love you, too.”

 

Life didn’t get much better than that.


End file.
